by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 5:29pm / Denmark / Love
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
by woodchuck0022 / 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
by hahanosirr / 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
jvillan87's comment : Back of a pickup while someone else drives next time then?
by uetlqdja / 05/21/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Love
KiddNYC1O's comment : What's wrong with your sister?
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 10:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
goldered's comment : Stop bragging on fml. It's inconsiderate of other people who get no action.
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by wolfie898 / 05/21/2011 at 3:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML
by anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by btswc / 05/21/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
by thatsasquee / 05/21/2011 at 2:42am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
by SophieGray / 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…