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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (3220)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39224) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

#8639311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by jacquelle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

#8638968
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (2389)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (3195)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14428) - you deserved it (29963)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (4975)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (4216)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12550) - you deserved it (39584)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML

#8634041
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (3527)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:37am - love - by loling (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26268) - you deserved it (2975)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML

#8631765
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (2555)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a rumor about myself going around my high school that I am pregnant, I've dropped out of school, and that my belly is showing. I'm not actually pregnant. I've been severely depressed, so I've missed a few days of school and I've been eating too much apparently. FML

#8630946
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by mainey92 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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