MissDQ's comment about their FML
OP here. Someone else pointed it out to the attendant that I'd been in there for a while and since I'm 'a kid' I MUST have been trying to steal someth...
Today, I'm a horse trainer and I started working with a lady's horse. After two hours of hard work and sweat, me and the horse in question are tired and I tell her I'll be back tomorrow. I get to the part where she's supposed to pay me and she says, "Oh! I thought this was free!?" FML
by Kelnyquist / 09/13/2016 at 1:37am / United States / Work
Baustigt's comment : There's a way to get your money, don't worry. Every day, when she leaves her house, live there secretly until she returns. Take a bite from an apple? She's paid 8 cents of debt. Flush the toilet? You've gained 6/10ths of a cent. It's not stealing if you pretend it's free. Do this every day until it makes you whole. And then do it some more.
by Is_This_Real / 09/12/2016 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, at the end of my 10-hour shift, my manager made me count exactly how many business cards were left in inventory before I could leave. She didn't believe me when the number came to exactly 3000. She made me count them all again. FML
by Weddingbelles / 09/12/2016 at 11:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I was sitting in a drive-thru with my girlfriend waiting for our food and the idiot behind me rear-ended me. I got out of the car to tell him he'd rear-ended me. He then argued with me, saying he "didn't feel it." FML
by Irritated / 09/12/2016 at 11:29am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
friedpwnadge's comment : Shove your foot up his ass, and when he complains, say you "didn't feel it".
by kdriver / 09/12/2016 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by CoolGuy69 / 09/12/2016 at 7:53am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Transportation
Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML
by MarsMayFall / 09/12/2016 at 5:56am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Tripartita's comment : "It's not my favorite song, but it's so sweet when the bassist drops." "It's 'when the bass drops'." "No, it isn't."
Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML
by r1has / 09/12/2016 at 4:21am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
by CoalRose / 09/11/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML
by el_Jeffe_D / 09/11/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML
by melon squash / 09/11/2016 at 6:15am / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
by Anon / 09/11/2016 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health