by boobswerehere / 07/07/2016 at 3:15am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
DocBastard's comment : That kid needs to watch more Sesame Street and less Family Guy.
by LadyGoombah / 07/06/2016 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by ClairvoyantVamp / 07/06/2016 at 7:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Welshite's comment : Your butt in a Bikini Bottom... It's like a porno straight from SpongeBob SquarePants. "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!"
Today, it's the second day of being in Estonia with my boyfriend and his mom, visiting their family. I don't know much Estonian, but I can say short words and phrases. My boyfriend later informed me I've been mispronouncing "Thank you," and actually saying "Help me." I was wondering why people have been laughing. FML
by avenue24 / 07/06/2016 at 5:08pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cringed at a memory of 5-year-old me going to restaurants I was brought to and stealing tip money because I thought it was free. I got to watch a kid do the same thing to me. Oh, sweet karma. FML
by ThisChick / 07/06/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money
coolmike699's comment : Well, now you can stop that kid and keep him from doing it anymore. Karma chain broken, maybe?
Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML
by staceyymaee / 07/06/2016 at 1:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was crossing back over the Mexico-US border. My mother-in-law got out of the car to go to the bathroom, since traffic was horrible. Two hours of worrying sick later, turns out she crossed the border without telling me. FML
by dumbmotherinlaw / 07/06/2016 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Holidays
by Poordaughter5 / 07/06/2016 at 1:21pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/06/2016 at 9:53am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML
by rmonk / 07/06/2016 at 8:17am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Lifetime Presents: / 07/06/2016 at 7:50am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Jioune / 07/05/2016 at 5:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, I was using the short urinal when I heard someone say, "Ahem!" in a loud voice. I looked back to see an angry little kid. He made me switch urinals so he could use the short one. I got urinal-evicted by a little boy. FML
by slingerslasher / 07/05/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous