by unboned / 05/11/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
TheGolfGTI's comment : *Looks at location* Yup.
by Anonymous / 05/11/2016 at 11:53am / United States (Michigan) / Money
EnderNutt's comment : 'Murica. Land of the free and home of the oversized dildo we call the IRS.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
by annoyed / 05/11/2016 at 7:40am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love
Today, my friend bought a new car. He left his old car at the dealership and asked me if I could go back with him, and then I'd follow him back to his house in his old car. That was fine, except he forgot to mention the car had no brakes. I hit his car. FML
by bumpercarmcgee / 05/11/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
ccameron12's comment : That's not really your fault he should have told you it didn't have brakes. He shouldn't of even let you drive it that's really dangerous.
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with co-workers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
by svsksosnns / 05/10/2016 at 11:59pm / United States (Washington) / Holidays
Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML
by kentrm / 05/10/2016 at 10:12pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by LoveTheElder / 05/10/2016 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Work
by anon / 05/10/2016 at 9:30pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Annoyed / 05/10/2016 at 9:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I surprise-visited my uncle after not seeing him for 4 years because of college. When he opened the door to his house, he was wearing Crocs. Of course, that would have been completely fine if it weren't for the fact that they were the only thing he was wearing. FML
by Scarred Nephew / 05/10/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous