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Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

#21516669
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22309) - you deserved it (1538)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (1286)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

rnayyyyy's comment : I'd actually like to see who would take out who first...

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Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

#21516655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17343) - you deserved it (1107)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:04pm - misc - by Well, shit - United States (California)

toastbrot's comment : that is so cruel and weird. sorry for your loss.

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Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

#21516653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16945) - you deserved it (1253)

On 01/18/2016 at 4:13pm - misc - by ukrukus (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

#21516615
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22080) - you deserved it (1242)

On 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm - health - by anon -

Steffi3's comment : Atleast you were in good hands when they finally noticed

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Today, I was asked by my live-in landlord not to put too much water in the kettle because it made the utility bills too high. This is the same woman who takes daily baths. FML

#21516555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (1960)

On 01/18/2016 at 10:16am - money - by logic (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

#21516540
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/18/2016 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

#21516509
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (1940)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:50am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I put more effort into getting and keeping my Sims onto a good sleep schedule in order to properly take care of their needs than I did for myself. FML

#21516448
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (7156)

On 01/18/2016 at 12:18am - health - by 221bcompanion - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

#21516384
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (1365)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:48pm - kids - by kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

#21516257
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20554) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, whilst in church, my brother's Sunday school teacher asked him what he loved to drink, to which he replied, "Beer." We have no idea why he said that, and the church is still talking to my parents. FML

Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML

#21516189
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (2055)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:59am - misc - by slightlyfamous - Canada (Quebec)



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