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Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

#21423823
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28345) - you deserved it (1767)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:00am - misc - by Spa Catholic - United States (Massachusetts)

Welshite's comment : Report her for assault and then she will really be mugged. By a mug shot.

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Today, I saw someone accidentally leave their headlights on downtown. Trying to be a helpful, I chased them down 2 blocks only to be informed that their headlights automatically turn off. FML

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

#21423738
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (1546)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:25am - work - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boss of 2 years not only doesn't know my name, but calls me "Jew hair" behind my back because of my natural ringlets. This man determines all of my career progression. FML

#21423649
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (1532)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:21pm - work - by hmdge1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

#21423616
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (2211)

On 06/09/2015 at 10:44pm - love - by storyofmylife - Canada (Nova Scotia)

CARCA55's comment : Relationships: you're doing it wrong

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Today, my professor let a guy into my philosophy class 30 minutes late because his excuse was, "Time is just an illusion." This is the same professor that kicked me out of the classroom for being 2 minutes late. FML

#21423584
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24683) - you deserved it (2492)

On 06/09/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by Really - United States (Rhode Island)

xJChristine's comment : Next time go to his house at 3 AM, say that "time is just an illusion" and stay for 2 minutes to make it up :)

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Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

#21423486
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (1610)

On 06/09/2015 at 6:30pm - misc - by I-love-my-tea - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

#21423445
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (1997)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (2641)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

#21423389
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (3415)

On 06/09/2015 at 2:39pm - animals - by dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

#21423323
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (1714)

On 06/09/2015 at 12:12pm - work - by MoonStarShine3 - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, someone finally told me that they couldn't live without me and that they love me more than anything. It was a student in my year 1 class. FML

#21423302
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (1784)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by foreveralone - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the guy I made cookies for, spent hours getting ready for, and drove 3 hours in traffic to see never actually wanted me to come. When I knocked on his door, he opened it, but immediately closed it in my face. He then texted me saying, "I met someone else." FML



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