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Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Welshite's comment : Wow, you took "knocking some common cents in" literally.

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Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38816) - you deserved it (3980)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

DarthCocoa's comment : Run

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Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

#21349609
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27857) - you deserved it (4707)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:02am - work - by AAA guy - United States

Emzinatorbot's comment : The irony is real

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Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34226) - you deserved it (3669)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29324) - you deserved it (2211)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14151) - you deserved it (42625)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14594) - you deserved it (38124)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (5249)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

#21349104
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27609) - you deserved it (1858)

On 02/03/2015 at 3:45pm - kids - by burned -

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32403) - you deserved it (1676)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

#21348979
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (3982)

On 02/03/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by wtfdaughter - Brazil (Pernambuco)



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