Today, I found a pad in my son’s underwear. FML

by Anonyme / 10/22/2013 at 3:13am / France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I shaved my beard that I wanted to grow for winter, into a goatee for a Skype interview. On the day, the interviewer only used audio. FML

by Beard / 11/08/2016 at 6:14am / Work

Today, while reading the newspaper, I noticed that an ad had been placed for my job. I asked my boss for a week off so that I could fly home for my father's funeral. No wonder she was so cool with it. FML

by Mitch / 11/07/2016 at 11:50pm / Work

Today, I thought I was being a good worker by showing a mother and daughter several rooms before they settled on one. Turns out Mommy dearest only wanted a place for her brat to throw a party. The cops found alcohol, drugs, and guns. This from the people who complained about a loose chair arm. FML

Today, a customer complained that one of our cashiers smiles too much. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2016 at 10:48am / Work

Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML

by invasive species / 11/07/2016 at 10:08am / Miscellaneous

masmalaque's comment : Your Dad agreed to your step-mom to move in with you without introducing her first to the family? Didn't they invite you to their wedding?

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Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

by shanson / 11/07/2016 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I spent an hour pulling poop-covered prickles out of my husky's butt. A duck had startled him while he was doing his business and his first thought was to run, mid-poop, into a prickle bush. FML

by Alittlebitiffy / 11/07/2016 at 8:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I went into work, thinking it was my last day before I start my new job, as my 2-week notice said to the managers that I can't work after today. None of them believed that I was actually capable of getting a better job and thought my 2-week notice was a joke. FML

by work hard / 11/07/2016 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Welshite's comment : And that's when you moon-walk out the door while giving them a parting wave in the form of a one-finger salute.

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Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML

by Homeless? / 11/07/2016 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, as I was helping a customer, she asked if it was my first day and who was training me. Evidently, I'm bad at my job, because I've worked there for 7 months. FML

by jxfc / 11/07/2016 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML

by Fartini / 11/07/2016 at 1:47am / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally sliced open my crush's hand at work while we were messing around on break. A month ago, I broke his brother's finger playing dodgeball. No wonder I'm still single; he must think I'm out to get his family. FML

by yoyyo / 11/07/2016 at 1:29am / United States (Kansas) / Love