All the FMLs

Strange verbiage

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to compliment a woman’s scarf by saying, “That’s a nice wrap!” She misheard me and thought I said, “Nice rack!” She glared at me and loudly said, “Excuse me?!” in front of about twenty people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 112

Preppers

By I tried - 09/10/2025 00:00

Today, I told my roommate I'd meal-prepped a whole week's worth of food. Hours later, I found all my perfectly packed containers… in the freezer. I meant to refrigerate them, but now I have seven blocks of chicken-and-rice ice sculptures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 311

Let me in!

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 22:00

Today, I walked out of my apartment to take the trash out. The wind suddenly slammed the door shut behind me. The problem? I was only wearing boxers. My keys were inside, the trash bag ripped in my hands, and my neighbor’s dog barked at me like he had caught an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 179

Always check where you're posting

By Jimbob - 08/10/2025 20:00

Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 661

What are the odds?

By z…… - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 849

You deserved it 5 557

Face your fears

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 15:00

Today, I was standing in line at a burger joint, facing my social anxiety and practicing my order in my head so I wouldn’t mess it up. When it was finally my turn, I panicked and said, “One large confidence, please.” The cashier just handed me a straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 137

Such a player

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 12:00

Today, I learned that my long term/long distance (two hours away) boyfriend has had not one, but two regular "girlfriends" closer to his home. He'd told them that we broke up while still coming to visit me weekly. He did stop coming by a few months ago because "work was crazy" but that didn't stop him from sending "pics" though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 84

Dying days

By Lou Riche - 08/10/2025 09:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I've stayed friends with, begged me to accompany him to the hospital, and act like we are still in love and are now engaged in front of his dying grandmother, who once greatly supported our relationship. We both witnessed her last moments, and her last words to us: "…who the hell are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 106

The gush

By mwja - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 812

You deserved it 4 011

Walk it off

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 03:00

Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 63

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 00:00

Today, after nerve pain and trouble sitting down, I found a lump in my ass crack. My doctor thought might be a tumour or cancer, so I was sent for scans. Apparently my whole life I’ve had an ingrown vestigial tail at the bottom of my spine hidden under the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 69

Dick move

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 22:00

Today, my wife insisted on getting burgers at like 11:58, two minutes before the place closed, which was a dick move. As she’s placing her order, I clearly heard the guy in the back going, “For fuck's sake…” as he restarted the grill. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he spit in her fries, honestly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 91

Here we go again

By Change my number - 07/10/2025 20:00

Today, I discovered that my direct work number is Googleable to the public. This was brought to my attention when my extremely toxic ex called me wanting to rekindle our dead relationship. I just have to ignore the ankle monitor, continued addiction issues, and police charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 62

I like what I like

By Aled - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 122

You deserved it 3 378

And how do you know that?

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 15:00

Today, my colleagues have been trying to play matchmaker between myself and the new girl at the office. I'll admit we share more similarities than differences from what I've learned so far, but I know something my colleagues don't: she's actively pursuing a guy through online dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 88

ISP woes

By Fuck my internet company - 07/10/2025 12:00

Today, after two weeks with no internet, we had a technician repair our service at our apartment. An hour later, one of my neighbors at the same complex yelled at us because the same technician disconnected her service by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 70

Rude

By Fugly fat slob - 07/10/2025 09:00

Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 65

Ewwww

By Mars - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 382

You deserved it 5 076

Red thong, I mean red flag

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 03:00

Today, I got the silent treatment from my boyfriend because my high waisted sweatpants accidentally slipped a little when I bent down, just as my creepy neighbor happened to walk by and my thong was exposed a little. The only thing he said to me all day was right before bed when he said, “Throw out that fucking underwear.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 108

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 00:00

Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 98

Not cool

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 1 382

Ticket to ride

By Marfo101 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Ghana - Accra

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 611

You deserved it 13 808

Don't yuck peoples' yum

By I hate him - 06/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband bought a Pokémon game and started playing it in bed. It's like I'm married to an eight year-old boy. Why can't I have a normal man, who reads books or even plays normal games for an adult? I can barely look at him without feeling ashamed for settling with such an overgrown child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 1 054

How many more to go?

By Joseph J - 06/10/2025 12:00

Today, my wife got home from a 8 day vacation with our daughter. She was instantly angry and yelling at me for not setting the new lights she asked me to install to the correct settings; mad at the paint job I spent hours on in our shower being “not professional enough”; irate that I got a Roomba. One hour down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 114

Not ED for me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 130

You deserved it 1 726

**** ICE

By Melinna - 06/10/2025 03:00

Today, the lady whose house I clean insists I stole her Hermes bag. I never went into her closet when cleaning; just her kitchen, living room and bathrooms. Apparently, it's worth $4000. She threatened to "call ICE and Homeland Security" if I don't "cough it up." I'm a naturalized citizen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 71

Involontary caregiver

By Caretaker - 06/10/2025 00:00

Today, I got word that my aunt has dementia and will be moving into our big family estate. And just like with my grandpa, grandma, great-aunt, great-uncle, other grandma, father, and uncle, I will be expected to put my life on hold and be her primary caretaker. I never got my own life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 97

Pet peeve

By Cherry Bomb - 05/10/2025 20:00

Today, I had to interview someone for a news article. Nothing too serious, but the person I was interviewing answered every question with a sentence beginning with "I want to say…" It's one of my pet peeves and it took a lot for me to not ask them to stop or I'd walk out. Yes, I'm a petty bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 346

'Ello 'ello 'ello

By wreckdit - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 251

You deserved it 790

Favorite

By ImmaLoser - 05/10/2025 15:00

Today, the girl I have a crush on posted on her Instagram story: “Best present ever from the most amazing guy ever!” One of my friends gave her the same item I got her for her birthday last month. When I gave it to her, she nonchalantly said, “Cool, thanks.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 122

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 959

You deserved it 4 909

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 6 130

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 937

You deserved it 46 556

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 2 266

Today, I was woken up in the middle of the night by an alarm on my phone going off. Thinking it was warning me of an incoming weather emergency, I checked it. It was a Silver Alert near me. Why wake me up for this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 493

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 718

You deserved it 12 260