Today, I sent my boyfriend a selfie where I used the Snapchat face-swap to put my best friend's face on mine. My boyfriend didn't notice and texted back, 'Wow, so beautiful!' FML

by Catnip / 06/30/2016 at 7:42pm / Germany (Hessen) / Love

nonsensical's comment : He probably noticed you looked strange or different, but didn't want to say it to hurt your feelings. That's what I'm thinking

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Today, my sister asked me, while making a cup of green tea with honey, "I wonder why they call it honey," to which I reply, "Probably some Greek or Latin word meaning 'to sweeten'." She stops, turns and with a serious face asks, "Where exactly is Latin?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Dave_Davington's comment : For the record, it actually came from an Old Germanic word meaning "golden yellow". The more you know.

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Today, my boss threw me out of her office during a conference call for daring to correct her. The client fired the company because she subsequently got all the information on the call wrong, and plainly had no idea what was going on. From all the screaming, this is now all my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 4:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

hekinokuroihi's comment : Sometimes you have to watch people fail on their own. If you try to help them, they just use you as a scapegoat for their ignorance.

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Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

by collegekidproblems / 06/30/2016 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I have a job but can't be hired due to technical issues. This means that I'm technically not getting paid yet for the work I do. FML

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

by sayroshi / 06/30/2016 at 2:29pm / United States / Kids

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

by Justme / 06/30/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (Montana) / Transportation

Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

by anon / 06/30/2016 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML

by buggyluv / 06/30/2016 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I am one year away from getting a university degree. Unfortunately, my parents just kicked me out because I wouldn't drop out and work for free at our family's gas station. I'm now broke, homeless and have no way to pay for school. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 10:14am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

by Theguyinthedark / 06/30/2016 at 9:23am / Bangladesh / Money

Today, I went out for drinks to mark the end of my current job. I invited all my colleagues to join me so I could say goodbye to them all. I even changed the date to a day that suited more people and the location to a place I knew they all preferred. Only one person showed up. FML

Today, I forgot my headphones at home. When I got to work I found out that today was also the day the band next door had decided to practice their only song for 8 hours. FML

by shit Music / 06/30/2016 at 3:32am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Work