Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (4236)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Peter_Ohnigian's comment : Could someone explain to me what happened in fluent English?

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Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28641) - you deserved it (3090)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Miss_Moody23's comment : C'mon moderators, you've got one job!

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Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26200) - you deserved it (2282)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

HeroZeroPlayer's comment : wtf is up with fml? the fmls are like not corrected before post anymore? like in this one there's a random loool???

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Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

#21384778
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (18019)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by ip7 - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (2382)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

#21384648
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (29547)

On 03/31/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by SupportPage - United States (California)

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

#21384638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (2874)

On 03/31/2015 at 8:56am - kids - by mokki - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (4701)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you deserved it (3178)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

#21384585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (2089)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:40am - kids - by Teach (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (2563)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (2066)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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