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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML

#21517707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16875) - you deserved it (4834)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

whysobeachy's comment : I hate to sound like an alarmist, but you sound a little depressed, OP. Laziness and depression are often very hard to discern from each other.

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Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

jengo54's comment : Guess you got hit by a smooth criminal

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Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

#21517614
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (3223)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by Garfield - Canada (Ontario)

UserOfTheMind's comment : He's trying to preserve what little innocence was left in the puppy.

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Today, at my work at a charity shop, I reached into a new bag of donations only to pull out... used underwear. Thanks for your generosity. FML

Today, my mom called me by her favorite TV show character's name. Again. This is the eighth time this week. I'm an only child, and I'm 15. I thought she had my name down pat by now. FML

#21517589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (1188)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by my name is sarah - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

#21517571
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16991) - you deserved it (7678)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML

#21517552
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20334) - you deserved it (1171)

On 01/20/2016 at 9:37pm - work - by TheNewSalesRep - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

#21517390
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17507) - you deserved it (9626)

On 01/20/2016 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jennifer (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized how much of a nutter my mother really is as she decided to write on a high visibility vest a "warning" that all foreigners, especially refugees, want to rape German women. She now wants to wear it each and every day in our hometown. FML

#21517384
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (1500)

On 01/20/2016 at 2:00pm - misc - by ashamed - Germany

Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML

#21517345
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:09am - intimacy - by sadandmad - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer filed a complaint against me because my coworker took too long to do a price check. I hate my job. FML

#21517333
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (1211)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

#21517322
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (3167)

On 01/20/2016 at 9:27am - kids - by lambeaster (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

#21517297
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (1427)

On 01/20/2016 at 7:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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