2016/08/08
Blog

Today I went to my sleep therapist; I sleep 8 hours a night, but I'm still very tired during the day. I'm divorced, so we decided that I would record myself sleeping to see if I might be snoring. We listened to the tape. Not only was I snoring very loudly, I cry all night in my sleep. FM

by Sleeping moody / 08/08/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

seba7236's comment : Aww. I just wanna hug you. It will be better soon. Trust me.

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Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

by ellieinc / 08/07/2016 at 11:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, the owner of the restaurant I work at texted me to let me know the manager does not want me to come in anymore. Why? I'm the most praised of the staff by the customers and they love me, which makes the manager look bad. The owner hired me solely for customer service in the first place. FML

by browneyedgirlx3 / 08/07/2016 at 11:19pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I attempted to bleach the little hairs above my lip. I had it on for about 15 seconds. Turns out that the horrible stinging that I had felt meant that it was not just working, but also eating through my skin at the same time. FML

by AlmightyVoice / 08/07/2016 at 7:38am / United States (Michigan) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I arrived for the holiday across the world that I spent my entire savings from working during college on. I had a slight sore throat, and couldn't manage to equalise my right ear, aborting all my scuba dives. There goes $500 and my dream of being a scuba instructor. FML

by Theregomylifesavings / 08/07/2016 at 4:52am / Vanuatu (Shefa) / Holidays

Today, during an important meeting, I forgot the name for West Virginia and described it as, "Virginia a bit to the left". FML

by Torvaltz / 08/07/2016 at 4:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

_EnderDoge's comment : I mean, technically you're not wrong..

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Today, I went for a job interview. The woman interviewing me had such a thick accent that I had to keep asking her to repeat herself. She got so frustrated that she ended the interview super early. I don't think I got the job. FML

by what did you say? / 06/15/2016 at 9:25am / Work

Tripartita's comment : I've been there, OP. The trick is to affect an accent of your own until you're able to get her to ask you to repeat yourself as often as you ask her.

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Today, I'm on a class trip to Washington DC. Last night, my roommate took a shower, and I decided that I would take one in the morning. This morning, I found out after I got out of the shower that my roommate used one towel for drying himself, and the other for a mat. He didn't hang either of them up. FML

by WheatiesMan / 06/15/2016 at 6:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend invited my ex to eat lunch with her. I wouldn't have found out had I not bumped into them while they were there. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 2:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML

by Adopted / 06/14/2016 at 5:22pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML

by Iron11 / 06/14/2016 at 4:52pm / Love

Today, I was talking to my mum about how I'd quite like to have kids someday. She responded: "Well, nowadays they let singles adopt as well, don't they?" FML

by Forever Alone / 06/14/2016 at 5:26am / Love