World

Today, I was running to catch a bus and when I finally got on, the driver closed the door on me. My arm is now entirely purple. FML

By MagicS2 - / Thursday 27 April 2017 12:08 / Brazil
World

Today, after being married for a few months, my husband announced to me that he had finally chosen a location for our honeymoon. Three tickets to Guadeloupe. Yes, three. Me, him, and his mother. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 27 April 2017 12:06 / Italy
World
By Layne - / Thursday 27 April 2017 12:02 / Brazil
By SeeingGreen - / Wednesday 26 April 2017 17:02 / Australia - Melbourne
By iwannamovenow - / Wednesday 26 April 2017 00:46 /
By please stay on the line - / Thursday 27 April 2017 23:50 /
By "Sonofaquiche" - / Sunday 30 April 2017 13:49 /
World

Today, after a long series of tests, I found out that I’m sterile. My wife is currently pregnant with our second child. I think I have some questions for her. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 27 April 2017 12:00 / France
By Anssi Tenhunen - / Saturday 29 April 2017 17:00 / Finland
By Anonymous - / Friday 28 April 2017 12:29 / United States - Indianapolis
By Anonymous - / Thursday 27 April 2017 17:47 /
By Anonymous - / Thursday 27 April 2017 16:54 /
World

Today I returned home after three months of vacation. None of my friends had even realized I had left. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 27 April 2017 11:51 / Colombia
World
By Anonymous - / Thursday 27 April 2017 11:58 / Italy
FML - The follow-up

Today, I went to the home of a guy I was talking to on Tinder to hook up. His wife answered the door and invited me in. She wanted to watch. FML

ThePhantomFuta Say more :
Hiya Guys n' Gals, OP here! First up, we'd already met before, gone on a couple of dates etc, but this was never exactly a romantic thing. Second, I said "Hell no!" (seriously!), yelled at them both for a bit, then left. Third, while many people may be into sleeping with married people, threesomes, etc, I'm not, because it gets too complicated (the whole point of this was to AVOID complications). So...
By TinderStartsFires - / Wednesday 26 April 2017 14:41 /
By urinetrouble - / Sunday 30 April 2017 12:19 / Canada - Hamilton
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