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Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45) - you deserved it (45420)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

oathkeeper99's comment : Hey, don't dish it out if you can't take it!

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Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (1927)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

ZedSinha's comment : Innocent question to the community and OP: do scrubs harbour bacteria? Is it unhygienic to wear clothes that have ben exposed to a hospital environment in a grocery store? Thanks.

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Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (3390)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

1dvs_bstd's comment : Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?

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Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (2629)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

#21371880
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7) - you deserved it (3761)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:43pm - kids - by LameChef (man) - Poland

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19) - you deserved it (2638)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (6348)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

#21371753
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30444) - you deserved it (7236)

On 03/10/2015 at 9:27am - misc - by oh well - United States

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12) - you deserved it (4572)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me to homecoming, in front of the whole school, knowing I have social anxiety. I was forced to say yes to not seem like an asshole. Now I can't back out. FML

#21371675
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8) - you deserved it (5865)

On 03/10/2015 at 4:03am - love - by TooMuchAnxiety (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I showed my father a nice sweatshirt online, hoping he would take the hint and get it for me. He did, three sizes larger than mine, for himself. FML

#21371647
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (7156)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:19am - money - by SkottLong - United States (Utah)

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

#21371640
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (6205)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:02am - love - by CrazyInLove - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10) - you deserved it (2392)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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