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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

#21516923
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:59am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

JHPugh's comment : That is a pretty bad thing to do at a time like that... But he is right(about the dynamic part). I'm sorry you're having a rough time, but you aren't alone. I can say from experience that it gets better, and you come out stronger in the end.

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Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

#21516917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (2703)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:37am - misc - by hrmpf (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

MegasaurusRex89's comment : So I guess your language skills just aren't cutting it, huh?

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Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

#21516912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19663) - you deserved it (1968)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

lui_pg's comment : Now you can get a paid job, always look at the positive

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Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML

#21516896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (1238)

On 01/19/2016 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to visit a suburb that was named after my family. Within five minutes of walking around I was mugged and then beat up. My family name has certainly done well for itself. FML

#21516844
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17848) - you deserved it (1720)

On 01/19/2016 at 1:47am - misc - by heckaza - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML

#21516843
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (1167)

On 01/19/2016 at 1:41am - love - by FML - United States

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

#21516742
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

#21516693
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19396) - you deserved it (1340)

On 01/18/2016 at 6:42pm - misc - by meh beard (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

#21516669
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (1538)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

#21516655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17334) - you deserved it (1107)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:04pm - misc - by Well, shit - United States (California)

Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

#21516653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16936) - you deserved it (1251)

On 01/18/2016 at 4:13pm - misc - by ukrukus (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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