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Today, I had a date over for the first time since I moved out. I made a beautiful dinner… for one of us. I'm so used to cooking for just myself that I only made one serving. FML

#21387713
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (9454)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:44pm - love - by :/ - United States (Connecticut)

ZelmaSlayer's comment : Give it to her to show her how selfless you are :)

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Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (3618)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

xoteeshaox's comment : Oh wow. You would think she would know you can't answer your phone during class. That and she seems rather clingy. Perhaps maybe start finding your own way to college if she's going to continue to do this.

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Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (2922)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Weiss_Schnee's comment : Am I the only one that checks the use by date? Plus couldn't you taste it?

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Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2499)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

#21387468
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (3381)

On 04/04/2015 at 10:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (3651)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

#21387438
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (2682)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (3037)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

#21387302
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34858) - you deserved it (2346)

On 04/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

#21387285
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27351) - you deserved it (2756)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (3272)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a policeman. He thought I was drunk, after doing the "walk in a straight line" test and the "finger-to-nose" test. It wasn't until after I got a fine that I got it through to him that I have cerebellar ataxia, and that I wasn't drunk. FML

#21387213
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (2139)

On 04/03/2015 at 8:42pm - health - by NotDrunk - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29058) - you deserved it (2122)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)



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