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Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

#21518447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18488) - you deserved it (7663)

On 01/23/2016 at 2:49am - intimacy - by soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Rich531's comment : "Yeah after the aliens broke in they started punching things and that's why there are dents in the ceiling"

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Today, my dad let me borrow his phone while I wait for mine to get back from the shop. I guess he forgot to pass the news along, because within 4 hours I'd received a picture of my mom's tits. FML

#21518424
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (1821)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Rich531's comment : that's not the breast way to start the day

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Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML

#21518411
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (1437)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:25am - misc - by wedding leper - United States (Arizona)

jentrynicole's comment : Make sure you wash everything you own and throw away what you absolutely don't need. The only thing that could make your situation worse is if you brought them home or to the wedding with you.

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Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

#21518334
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that the pain I've had for the past couple of weeks was actually due to a broken collar bone. Now work won't pay for the treatment I need because I continued to work despite the pain. FML

#21518327
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20877) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/22/2016 at 8:43pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML

#21518238
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/22/2016 at 4:28pm - love - by OhNo - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

#21518234
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (1762)

On 01/22/2016 at 3:55pm - love - by believe me now?? (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

#21518208
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (1369)

On 01/22/2016 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

#21518195
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15774) - you deserved it (5094)

On 01/22/2016 at 2:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my professors left a cabinet door open whilst teaching class. The compulsion to get up and close it was so strong that I could barely concentrate on what was being taught. FML

Today, the company I work for lost 3-weeks worth of time sheets, so we have to fill them all out again. I don't remember what I did yesterday, let alone three weeks ago. That's why I religiously fill out the time sheets in the first place. FML

#21518159
39 comments

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

#21518118
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/22/2016 at 7:50am - misc - by whattheactualfuck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)



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