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Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (2022)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

cutycat136's comment : Maybe she'll notice that when you feel better you're no longer throwing up and you can tell her you told her you weren't anorexic and just weren't feeling good.

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Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Welshite's comment : Next time your prof sneezes condemn him to Hell. "May your soul belong to Satan, you unholy demon-spawn. "

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Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (2682)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Cads1's comment : You will loose the baby weight, he will always be a dickhead.

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Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19073) - you deserved it (21830)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (3092)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (2197)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14149) - you deserved it (28913)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML

#21402857
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (2035)

On 05/01/2015 at 11:25am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (10369)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29753) - you deserved it (5549)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (2249)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
106 comments


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