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Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

CorpsmanUp88's comment : I think I'd take a textbook to the face than a allergic reaction anyday.

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Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35960) - you deserved it (6764)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

#21097662
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (8254)

On 03/27/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by Dragoness11 - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

hellnosucka's comment : I have the exact same fear. if someone entered the bathroom while I'm peeing, I would literally hold my pee in until they get out. no matter how long they take...

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Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (2930)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

olpally's comment : File a report or do something, not sure how things work in the UK, get new roommates. that's some major bullshit.

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Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32575) - you deserved it (2688)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (2581)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (33440)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35226) - you deserved it (6856)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38994) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (4502)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36824) - you deserved it (5231)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

#21096559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (5379)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by student101 - United States (Wisconsin)



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