Puffy Baked · 23 August 2026, 22:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Tactician

Today, I had to listen and take in another one of my mom's litanies. She can't understand why my brother violently reacts to her every time she tells him to "let go and move on" and get over his wife's death. She also can't understand why that's not a good way to start a conversation with him to ask him if she could borrow some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 63

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Cool aunt · 23 August 2026, 20:00 ·Canada

Have fun!

Today, I bought my niece a huge stuffed teddy bear for her birthday because I wanted to be the cool aunt/uncle. She hugged it, smiled, and then immediately hugged the gift bag instead, because apparently it made a "funny" crinkly noise. I have officially been defeated by packaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241 You deserved it 128

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ilovemypup · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Cheap and gross

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 212 You deserved it 828

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Anonymous · 23 August 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Claws out

Today, I rescued a tiny kitten from the rain and brought him inside. I dried him off, gave him food, and wrapped him in a blanket. He immediately climbed onto my lap, purred for ten minutes, then sprinted upstairs and started destroying my curtains. I saved a cat. The cat saved nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 240

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Anonymous · 23 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Emergency!

Today, I got my kids busy, so I took a shower. I heard banging on the door. “MOM! Emergency!” I wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door expecting some catastrophe. My 6-year-old said, “Where do we keep the spoons?” I stared at him. “The drawer.” “Oh. OK.” Then walked off. I stood there dripping, wondering how I had become the emergency spoon consultant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288 You deserved it 92

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soembarassed · 23 August 2026, 09:00 ·United States

What are you doing?

Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 260

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ray · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

New experience

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 153 You deserved it 24 384

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Anonymous · 23 August 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Ill gotten gains suspected

Today, my nosy mom opened my mail and saw how much I have in my account. She confiscated my debit card because she’s convinced no one could save that much working part time at Burger King and is demanding I confess where so much money came from. I'm moving out. Fuck her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480 You deserved it 56

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Anonymous · 23 August 2026, 00:00 ·Nakhon Pathom, Thailand

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Today, my husband accidentally smashed a Pickleball straight into my nose at high speed and the pain dropped me like a sack of potatoes. I’m still waiting for a hug and an “I’m sorry babe” from him. That alone is more painful than my nose right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 76

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Clean up · 22 August 2026, 22:00 ·Houston, United States

Messy bitch

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 22 August 2026, 20:00 ·Fayetteville, United States

Many such cases!

Today, I bought my dog an expensive orthopedic bed because I felt bad that he was getting older. He sniffed it for 5 seconds, walked away, and spent the night sleeping on the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, the box has better lumbar support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246 You deserved it 107

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AshWil · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Washington, United States

Monolith

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 954 You deserved it 23 541

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Anonymous · 22 August 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Cheap labor

Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 22 August 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Living my best life

Today, I sent my crush what I thought was a cute selfie. Two minutes later, she replied, “Nice waffle.” I checked the chat and realized I had sent her a photo of my burnt breakfast instead. She then asked if the black part was chocolate. It definitely wasn't. I have not opened that chat since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 345

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baddog · 22 August 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Naughty boy

Today, my dog started barking during a work video call. I picked him up to prove he was harmless. He immediately sneezed directly into my face, then licked my mouth. My microphone was still on, and everyone heard me yell, “WHY?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 225 You deserved it 188

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Jessica · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Got it?

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 035 You deserved it 3 195

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Anonymous · 22 August 2026, 03:00 ·Cleveland, United States

Girls on tour

Today, I started my week-long girlscation with two of my childhood friends. So far, one hasn't stopped burping, farting, or talking about "needing dick", and the other can't stop trying to one up everyone else in the car. Day one out of five. Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 135

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Anonymous · 22 August 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

The one that got away

Today, my ex invited me to dinner where we had a wonderful time. She even picked the first restaurant I'd took her to, and just as I was considering asking her to get back together, she tells me that she’s engaged and didn’t want me to find out from Facebook. I swear the chefs heard my heart break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 126

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Goodbye Old Friend · 21 August 2026, 20:00 ·Lancaster, United States

Step-dog

Today, I realized that I'm going to miss my mom's boyfriend's dog more than I'm actually going to miss him. The relationship is practically over but I've grown fond of his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293 You deserved it 63

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

It's alive!

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917 You deserved it 4 418

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Anonymous · 21 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Raincheck?

Today, it was my classmate’s turn to host our study group. Her house was a total nightmare! Every surface was covered in junk, the walls were smeared, and there was a thick layer of trash on the floor. She casually swept crumbs off the couch and motioned for me to sit down. I saw roaches and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 64

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Anonymous · 21 August 2026, 09:00 ·Sydney, Australia

Busted

Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529 You deserved it 62

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Herman · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·France

Pet peeve

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 156 You deserved it 5 871

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Ghosted · 21 August 2026, 03:00 ·Tlalpan, Mexico

It's never too late

Today, a friend replied to my invitation to watch the Silent Hill movie. The invitation was from January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 You deserved it 65

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Anonymous · 21 August 2026, 00:00 ·Joinville, Brazil

Internalized

Today, I was called a "transphobic bigot" at work because I told my coworker, a trans woman, that her clothing and behaviour were disrespectful and inadequate for the workplace. I'm also a trans woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 20 August 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Recovery

Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 66

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Anonymous · 20 August 2026, 20:00 ·United States

This is awkward…

Today, my brother and I spent almost $600 to plan and throw a divorce party for our mother. She proceeded to announce that she and our dad are staying together and that we completely jumped the gun. We deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 You deserved it 395

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Gent, Belgium

Chill out, lady

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 158 You deserved it 1 822

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Anonymous · 20 August 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Butter fingers

Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 You deserved it 416

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Its over · 20 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Bad news

Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174 You deserved it 609

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