Today, my boss told me to find the bad smell coming from the apartment we were working on. I found the bath tub about 4 inches high full of piss and spent the next hour bailing it out into a bucket because the drain wasn't connected yet. I have pee stain in all the wrong places. FML

by seanzynotfonzyehhhhh / 08/04/2016 at 1:16am / United States / Work

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

by Lordy / 08/03/2016 at 7:33am / Saudi Arabia / Work

Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML

by anon / 08/02/2016 at 11:28pm / Work

Today, I got called for a job that I applied to 2 months ago, just to ask me if I had an older brother that could work for them. FML

by M3DO / 08/02/2016 at 9:04pm / Work

Today, my boss signed and sent me back my timesheet. He named the PDF file "Timeshit". Now I don't know whether he's terrible at spelling, or just expressed his view of my job. FML

by Moose / 08/02/2016 at 7:18am / Poland / Work

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

by TheVagabond_SRG / 08/02/2016 at 2:46am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while at work as a cashier, one lady's total was $1.32. She handed me the dollar, and then apologized. When I looked at her, confused as to what she was sorry about, she went wrist deep into her bra, grabbed some change, and quickly put it into my hand. It was wet and it smelt. FML

by CliffyB03 / 08/01/2016 at 5:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

by suspended / 07/31/2016 at 11:39am / United States (Michigan) / Work

 Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

by Ex-Employee / 07/30/2016 at 10:14pm / United States / Work

Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2016 at 9:45am / Maldives / Work

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

by mrsimintrouble / 07/29/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was fired from my job because my boss "doesn't think I'm happy there". FML

by someonesometime / 07/29/2016 at 12:14am / United States (Montana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML

by chickfilady / 07/28/2016 at 11:10pm / Work