The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 23 December 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Bring your A game

Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 497

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Anonymous · 4 April 2025, 15:00 ·Australia

Carplayed out

Today, I couldn’t find my phone as I left work, but knew it was on me since CarPlay connected. Later, the music cut out speeding up onto the freeway. I then recalled placing it on the roof as I loaded up the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 521

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Anonymous · 25 August 2025, 22:00

Six feet under

Today, on my first day driving a hearse, I took a wrong turn and of course every car behind followed me. Out of pure habit I had turned right into the main street as though I was driving home, when I should've turned left. At least my wife got to see me from the window as I drove past the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 362

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kat · 31 December 2023, 06:00 ·San Diego, United States

Weird logic

Today, I told my guy friend to not put pictures of me on his story when we hang out, to which he replied, “You rejected me, but you continue to ask about my friends. For some reason you refuse to help me out with yours. At least some other girl I know will think I’m a catch for hanging with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 1 054

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oops · 7 April 2026, 15:00 ·San Francisco, United States

Commited

Today, I’m a junior developer and I'd pushed what I thought was a minor fix right before logging off on Friday. Monday morning, I walked into a message: “Site down since Saturday.” My “tiny change” broke a key function. The whole team was already in a call when I joined, and I had to say, "Yeah, um… that was my commit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 469

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anon · 15 August 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Are you OK?

Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 420

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Muddy · 28 December 2025, 00:00

Stay out of it

Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 367

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Anonymous · 17 August 2024, 09:00 ·Kamloops, Canada

It's a gas gas gas

Today, my pug farted so much that I thought there was an actual gas leak. I kept checking the oven and making sure our C02 detector had batteries before I heard a squeaky fart come from my dog. Don't get a pug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 346

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Fillie · 21 February 2024, 12:00

Do not attempt this at home

Today, I took part in a karaoke night, and confidently chose "Man in The Mirror" by Michael Jackson, but forgot that the song has a key change. My attempt to hit the high note sounded like a cat being stepped on. I didn't survive the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 471

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Anonymous · 1 August 2023, 03:00 ·United States

Resistance

Today, I found out that the compact fluorescent light bulbs that I use to save money AND help the environment were too high of a wattage to put in my lamps. I've been doing this for years and completely missed the warning label on the inside of the lampshade that says that the lamp is only good for up to 40 watts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 729

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Anonymous · 8 February 2023, 12:00

Quick thinking

Today, I showed up to a meeting without my pants and had to pretend it was part of my outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 1 040

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Anonymous · 3 August 2024, 20:00 ·Greensboro, United States

Way too chill, dude

Today, I went to what I thought was my friend’s house for a barbecue. I walked into the backyard and started chatting with people I didn't recognize. After about 20 minutes, I realized I was at the wrong house, eating a stranger's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 489

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Anonymous · 23 May 2026, 00:00 ·Center Line, United States

You don't wanna know

Today, me and my dad were talking about my gambling habits and I was saying how proud I was that I follow my set limits (I only gamble once a month and online, and set a strict deposit limit on myself). Unfortunately, he began asking questions about my online gambling sites, etc. I'm worried I might get him addicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 256

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Late, for a very important date · 22 July 2022, 22:00

Protip

Today, I found out my boyfriend accounts for my being late all the time whenever we go out. For example, he will ask me to be ready by 7, knowing I don't actually need to be ready until 7:45. He was so good at it that it's taken me 6 months of dating to notice. Am I insulted or impressed, I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 2 809

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Anonymous · 2 March 2025, 00:00 ·Anaheim, United States

Hey good lookin'

Today, I realized that whether it takes me 3 minutes or 3 hours to get ready, my husband always has the same reaction, “Uh… yeah babe, you look fine.” Thanks for the confidence boost babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 443

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Ughhh · 19 August 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Level playing field

Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 802

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Anonymous · 22 October 2024, 18:00 ·Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Not sure what's going on here, but…

Today, I'm 58 years-old, and the 40 year-old woman I'm sleeping with is so tight that she "spits me out" every time she has an orgasm. I have to work it back in at least 5 times every time we get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 537

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Dana · 21 November 2025, 00:00

Rolling thunder

Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 335

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Anonymous · 13 December 2024, 03:00 ·Darjeeling, India

Blues trio

Today, I've been trying to fit into a trio but nothing's working out. Most of the time I'm left alone, then when I talk with one of them, the other one complains about being left out. I don't know how to fit in properly without making one or the other sad or unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 399

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Anonymous · 22 February 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

First time?

Today, I was mortified when I went to the doctor for what I thought was an allergic reaction rash and turned out to just be a bad carpet burn from rough sex, on my back and my ass cheeks. The doctor was visibly trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 516

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FML Videos · 29 September 2018, 00:30

Instant Regret

Patience is a virtue!

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 398

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Anonymous · 20 July 2023, 12:00 ·Moncton, Canada

Kinda sus

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 887

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Anonymous · 2 September 2023, 10:00

Too soon?

Today, I was on a date with a guy met on Tinder when he asked if he could kiss me, but all I was thinking about was my ex and how I miss him so much, even though it’s been a month and half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 878

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Broke babe · 5 November 2025, 20:00

Thoughts and prayers

Today, at a family dinner, I mentioned I was worried about money and my job. My rich grandmother decided to announce that she'd pray for me. Thanks, Gran, I'm sure talking to Magic Sky Wizard will be more helpful than just forking over some cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 815

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Always less important than video games · 12 December 2025, 00:00

Downloading

Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 295

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Anonymous · 25 June 2024, 16:00 ·South Africa

Buckle up!

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant with our third child. This wouldn't be a problem but we only want two kids and I had a vasectomy 6 weeks ago (they take 3 months to be effective). We weren't careful only one time, and since it was difficult to conceive the two we wanted, we didn't think it would be a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 780

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Anonymous · 1 September 2024, 16:00 ·Ottawa, Canada

I guess that's a "NO!" then?

Today, I thought it would be romantic to propose to my girlfriend during halftime at a local football game. I arranged everything with the stadium staff. When the moment came, I got down on one knee, only for her to hiss, "Are you serious? Right here?" She ran off, leaving me kneeling in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 896

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Busy mom · 6 September 2024, 06:00 ·Newark, United States

Neglected

Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 451

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Abigail · 23 July 2024, 20:00 ·Penn Yan, United States

Emotional

Today, I was crying over my favorite artist dying (as I often do). I was home alone, watching his documentary/movie in my living room, and I started crying REALLY HARD. It was the loudest and hardest I've ever cried. Guess who showed up to the house? The cops. The neighbors thought I was dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 698

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yeahImgreat · 12 May 2022, 14:00 ·Netherlands

Karma

Today, after three months of going back and forth between staying with my boyfriend and leaving him for someone else, I finally made the decision to go for the other guy. When I told him, he admitted to never seeing himself with me, as he "doesn't do cheaters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183 You deserved it 2 645

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