By Thebestman123 - United States Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML I agree, your life sucks 60957 You deserved it 3205 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Septy - Spain - M?laga Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 20710 You deserved it 1883 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DMStarsky - United States Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML I agree, your life sucks 30498 You deserved it 4669 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML I agree, your life sucks 45994 You deserved it 17514 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bethany - United Kingdom Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37332 You deserved it 15785 293 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cockalicious Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML I agree, your life sucks 28625 You deserved it 5002 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML I agree, your life sucks 29794 You deserved it 2458 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Misky Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML I agree, your life sucks 10566 You deserved it 28354 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Salliemae - United States - Manchester Today, my boyfriend took my car on a 3-day vacation, stranding me in our extremely rural town. I have a box of ziti, a jar of expired pickles, no cable or Netflix, and no water since the well ran dry. Why am I here? "Someone needs to stay with the dog and feed the cows." FML I agree, your life sucks 2815 You deserved it 366 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML I agree, your life sucks 38871 You deserved it 3551 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Godwhy Today, I found out my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me with my friend's 18-year-old sister, took her on the vacation we planned, and will be starting with my company next week. FML I agree, your life sucks 3535 You deserved it 209 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rachel - United States Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML I agree, your life sucks 34099 You deserved it 4812 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hopeless romantic - United States - Dayton Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML I agree, your life sucks 42078 You deserved it 5502 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Phoenix Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML I agree, your life sucks 46521 You deserved it 4703 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By phantomdriver - Canada Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML I agree, your life sucks 44758 You deserved it 3611 243 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hawtpinkpanties - United States Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML I agree, your life sucks 48719 You deserved it 3113 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NewTenant - United States Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML I agree, your life sucks 17186 You deserved it 39888 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML I agree, your life sucks 21283 You deserved it 2952 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Permafucked - United States Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 14730 You deserved it 84968 308 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SwimminginSweat - United States Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML I agree, your life sucks 26089 You deserved it 4481 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dBLIZZARD - United States Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML I agree, your life sucks 23658 You deserved it 2847 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkward drunk - Canada Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML I agree, your life sucks 9191 You deserved it 45611 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Me - United States Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML I agree, your life sucks 26433 You deserved it 2583 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CodyS - United States - Rocky River Sticky situation Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 40139 You deserved it 11227 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - Canada Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML I agree, your life sucks 11999 You deserved it 30217 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Silver Spring Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML I agree, your life sucks 27960 You deserved it 2909 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bootyislife - United States - Lynnwood Hidden Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML I agree, your life sucks 31530 You deserved it 7340 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sevenshotmovie - United States - Sheffield Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML I agree, your life sucks 3026 You deserved it 497 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By obviously not the favorite Today, my mom called me a "useless spoiled brat" because I refused to drive my sister across the city just to buy flavored gelatin. I've had Amoebic Dysentery for 3 days now and need constant bathroom access. FML I agree, your life sucks 5526 You deserved it 319 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By latino14 - United States - Annapolis Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 12082 You deserved it 39267 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jinthebar - United States Get away from me Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML I agree, your life sucks 68929 You deserved it 7898 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML I agree, your life sucks 36965 You deserved it 4275 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By low_expectations - 19/8/2020 02:04 Zoom call from hell Today, I was yelled at by my mom for not communicating to the rest of my family about the zoom call SHE planned and asked for. The call was to celebrate my birthday. Apparently, it was my responsibility to coordinate it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1404 You deserved it 86 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Awie - Austria Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 32253 You deserved it 19775 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatethisjob - United States - Romulus Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML I agree, your life sucks 41731 You deserved it 4409 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokeandsad - United States Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML I agree, your life sucks 26498 You deserved it 9562 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By damnitsam Today, while making lunch, I passed out. After waking up in the hospital, my brother yelled at me for leaving the freezer open. FML I agree, your life sucks 5253 You deserved it 408 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IHateBagels - United States Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML I agree, your life sucks 31746 You deserved it 81790 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miss Spasticator - United States - Vancouver Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 22649 You deserved it 4164 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML I agree, your life sucks 10031 You deserved it 58748 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7701350 - Saturday 29 September 2018 18:24 “Daddy! I think the car has a little weird noise and don’t know how it happened.” Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By real life problems | 26 #7701044 - Saturday 29 September 2018 2:04 That motor is a few minutes away from going boom 😲 Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By Phillycheeze | 20 #7701009 - Saturday 29 September 2018 0:40 Dumbass Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By real life problems | 26 #7701044 - Saturday 29 September 2018 2:04 That motor is a few minutes away from going boom 😲 Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By EggyDogger | 13 #7701079 - Saturday 29 September 2018 5:53 Run man Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7701350 - Saturday 29 September 2018 18:24 “Daddy! I think the car has a little weird noise and don’t know how it happened.” Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By cjoe556677 | 13 #7701452 - Saturday 29 September 2018 23:44 Who needs oil pans? psh. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 800 You deserved it 117 8 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 521 You deserved it 412 6 Comments