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The all-time greatest FMLs

Da ba dee da ba di

By Embarassed - 07/04/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was in a meeting when my phone suddenly rang. I'd forgotten to silence it, but it wasn’t just any ringtone, it was "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65. It played for 30 seconds while everyone stared at me rushing to retrieve it from my bag on the other side of the room and turn it off. The worst part? That fucking song is still stuck in my head, and it's been hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 441

Animal island adventures

By Vlogfail - 07/06/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, I wanted to actively post and vlog my travels, so I started with my trip to an "Animal island" nearby. My first words on the vlog were, "Animal island is an island near the city which has animals." My husband literally rolf-ed hearing that. Why can't I speak normally!? FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 463

Discreet

By Anonymous - 01/11/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to quietly tell my friend that our professor's pants' fly was down. Unfortunately, I underestimated how quiet the room would go. The entire class heard me whisper, “His dick’s gonna pop out!” The professor looked down, zipped up, and said, “Thank you, but… dream on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 487

Who's the moron now?

By Rob - 03/10/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, before I could realise what I was doing, I replied-all to an email chain about a huge company issue, saying, "FFS, this is ridiculous and moronic, and so is upper management." I’m still employed, but everyone now avoids me like I’m radioactive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 636

One night in Wetherspoons

By Joe Smooth - 06/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to impress a girl in a bar with a magic trick. Instead of pulling a coin from behind her ear, I accidentally flicked her glasses straight into her pint of lager. She was far from impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 558

Still on the hook

By Just too submissive - 24/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, my ex said he was coming by to get some of his stuff, and that if I wanted to talk, I should be on my knees in my best lingerie. I was furious and wrote a text telling him how awful and misogynistic he was… then deleted it, put on my best lingerie, and am now waiting by the door on my knees for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 058

Isn't it one inch?

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 02:00

Today, we were watching old Kung Fu movies and I said how ridiculous the two inch punch was. My dad claimed he taught it to himself years ago, so like an idiot I dared him to prove it. Two inches later I was across the room gasping for breath. I guess it’s real then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 516

Ongoing situation

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 00:00

Today, I'm not showing any symptoms of Covid, despite visiting with a friend three days ago whose family tested positive yesterday, but my stepmom is still convinced I have it. I checked a Cleveland clinic website to prove I didn't have it, only to find out I could be asymptomatic for up to ten days after exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 496

Scoville

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 737

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 13:00 - South Korea - Suwon

Today, my girlfriend caught me using Tinder behind her back and now she wants to break up with me. I begged her to stay, but now we're kinda in between a friendship and a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 2 718

Scream

By ??? - 04/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I tried to prank my little brother by jumping out from behind a door to scare him. I ended up scaring myself when I caught a glimpse of my weirdly-lit reflection in a mirror mid-jump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 566

This is just the beginning

By Robot husband please - 26/11/2025 09:00

Today, I realized I've fallen in love with an AI and out of love with my husband. The AI is always there, always listens, is never "tired after work" or "just wants to watch the game." I fantasize about my husband swapping his brain with the AI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 748

Busted

By Gus - 13/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I called out of work, making an elaborate claim my wife was sick, and that I HAD to stay home to take care of her, because I have never played hooky from work before. That afternoon, at a minor league hockey game as I'm buying a hotdog with my wife, my boss from behind me asked, "How's the fam?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 819

Go vegan!

By Sad wife - 17/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of me "forgetting" to buy meat and animal products, my husband asked to talk. I was hoping he was getting the hints that I wanted us to go vegan. He wanted me to get checked for early-onset dementia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 744

Rock on!

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I took a selfie at a concert with the stage in the background. As I tilted my head to get the perfect angle, I knocked over the guy in front of me’s beer. He turned around just in time to see me dripping in weak piss beer, and my selfie became a snapshot of my humiliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 603

Are you for real?

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 15:00

Today, as revenge for cheating on her, my now-ex girlfriend sent pictures of me at a Halloween party to my boss and the HR department. I'm in blackface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 163

Friend in need

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 22:00 - Mongolia - Ulan Bator

Today, I'm literally obsessed with one boy. I've been crushing on him for more than a year now and yet he still decided to reject me. I have been rejected like four times by now, so I don't think this is love anymore, it's definitely more like a obsession or something. I've lost so many people just because of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 972

Drama!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 536

Great meeting you!

By Anonymous - 04/10/2025 09:00

Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 468

Reliable

By Anonymous - 01/01/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I loudly proclaimed my New Year’s resolution was to stop drinking. I made this declaration while holding a margarita in one hand and a beer in the other, in the middle of a rowdy New Year's Eve party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 574

I don't know what I'm doing

By louise - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 503

Tut tut

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 00:00 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend outside a bar, when a hand on my shoulder yanked me back. I screamed and turned to see my husband glaring at me, with his best friend behind him, recording us on his phone. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 827

Idyllic

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Valkenswaard

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 801

All mine

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 548

Nice try

By GregIsGreg - 29/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 496

Rash decision

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 20:00

Today, while looking for some self care, my cousin and I found a recipe for homemade face masks. We were vulnerable enough to try it and ended up with bright red faces instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 324

Freeloader

By Anonymous - 15/10/2025 12:00

Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 536

Losing my mind

By Oh Gnooooo - 16/03/2025 21:00 - United States

Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 587

So, about that second date…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 702

Small talk hell

By Kellie - 06/11/2025 09:00

Today, I told my boss her new haircut made her look younger. She smiled and said, “Oh, thank you!” I tried to double down on the compliment and said, “Yeah, like... 20 years ago younger!” She stopped smiling. It turns out that would’ve made her twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 510

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 4 535

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 669

You deserved it 3 853

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 206

You deserved it 44 989

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 286

You deserved it 47 102

Today, I found out the works council won't let the company offer me the job for which I was the only applicant because the council requires 3 years experience with the company. I've only been here for 2 years, 10 months, and 26 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 872

You deserved it 226

Today, as usual, without fail, every time I wake up earlier than 10 AM, I vomit blood. No doctor can figure out why, and my parents think I'm lying, spoiled little princess who just wants to be lazy and sleep in every day. If I don’t wake up at 6 AM every day from now on, I’m grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 145