Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48103) - you deserved it (7812)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40078) - you deserved it (13732)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (7842)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (25666)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48735) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54385) - you deserved it (3510)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (10452)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48921) - you deserved it (7096)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49017) - you deserved it (5280)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47367) - you deserved it (6768)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (67269)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39345) - you deserved it (8282)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: