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Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (3431)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (4447)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (1477)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2903)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21954) - you deserved it (7978)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35072) - you deserved it (5517)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29372) - you deserved it (2241)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29673) - you deserved it (5553)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML

#20527472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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