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Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44560) - you deserved it (2928)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML

#20768805
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37135) - you deserved it (2233)

On 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

#20803187
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (2749)

On 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst into hysterical laughter. FML

#20805698
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49434) - you deserved it (3192)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:47am - misc - by Odnel (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

#20782183
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40264) - you deserved it (2253)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by nice one - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car ash tray. FML

#20833889
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39012) - you deserved it (6269)

On 08/12/2013 at 2:54pm - misc - by amayasoma - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

#20808571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37349) - you deserved it (3974)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by LeaveTheGuyAlone (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

#20798415
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (2877)

On 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by 1942ford (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (7371)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (17331)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

#20815079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (5016)

On 08/01/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by fuckoffgran (woman) - Ireland

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

#20819957
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45693) - you deserved it (4441)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:37am - love - by uniannonymous - United Kingdom (Merton)



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