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Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42680) - you deserved it (14120)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

#20999870
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51342) - you deserved it (3352)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61922) - you deserved it (8302)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53578) - you deserved it (4476)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61452) - you deserved it (8715)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38896) - you deserved it (8865)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

#21020871
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51273) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Jae_Hellyun (man) - United States

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (45810)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43340) - you deserved it (5127)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)



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