Health, Transportation, Food, Gross and Vacation: Food poisoning is back on the menu!

Food poisoning is back on the menu!

By James - 06/05/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 95

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Same thing different taste

By Foufinator - 04/10/2009 19:33 - France

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 129

You deserved it 3 558

By Anonymous - 08/09/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 8 014

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 244

You deserved it 45 072

By Magaña.i.am - 16/04/2019 16:00

Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 529

By negativesoup - 10/11/2016 18:44

Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 287

You deserved it 784

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 909

You deserved it 15 432

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 12:09 - Canada

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 456

You deserved it 85 810

Grossed out

By BARF - 12/02/2023 18:00

Today, my boyfriend is an incredibly adventurous eater. We were on a road trip and stopped at a place that had "Fried brain sandwiches" and he insisted on trying one. He loved it. Just watching him eat it made me so sick that I still feel nauseous hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 205

By loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 059

You deserved it 7 155

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 463

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The Top

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, my husband chose to masturbate. I'm not getting laid for the forth night in a row, because initiating sex is too hard for him. Just once, I want to not have to initiate or flat out beg for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 282

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 42 014

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 425

You deserved it 17 405

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 1 093

Today, my mom told me that she wanted the whole family to move to Guatemala. I told her, as nice and calmly as I could, that this was an awful idea. She is now furious with me because I don't want to move to Guatemala. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 380

You deserved it 946

Today, my boyfriend and I realized how hard it is to get a good night's sleep next to each other when we both fell asleep watching John Wick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 177