Health: That's a thing - FML

That's a thing

By Anon - 13/11/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 347

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 081

You deserved it 3 820

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 206

By aaa - 01/03/2011 15:00

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 869

You deserved it 5 777

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 741

You deserved it 6 445

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 180

You deserved it 2 310

Namaste

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 332

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 4 335

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 15 792

Don't feed the animals

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 14:00

Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 549

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 17:37 - United States - Allen

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 773

You deserved it 7 256

Next

Top comments

FluffythePink 22

Monday 13 November 2023 0:23

Why are you complaining? That sounds like so much fun. If there was Goat yoga near me I'd be signed up instantly.

Suaria 38

Monday 13 November 2023 4:19

I did goat yoga a few weeks ago. I was more worried about being poop'd or peed on then I was about my hair getting nibbled on.

Comments

FluffythePink 22

Monday 13 November 2023 0:23

Why are you complaining? That sounds like so much fun. If there was Goat yoga near me I'd be signed up instantly.

Suaria 38

Monday 13 November 2023 4:19

I did goat yoga a few weeks ago. I was more worried about being poop'd or peed on then I was about my hair getting nibbled on.

IHaveThePower 16

Monday 19 February 2024 7:18

Yoga can wait, there's goats that need pettings.

Keywords

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Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 698

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I agree, your life sucks 49 851

You deserved it 4 883

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 161

You deserved it 12 400

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 126

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 014

You deserved it 2 609

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 014

You deserved it 115 357