By FML Approved - United States - New York Dog Box Fail Think outside the box! 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mommydearist - United States Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML I agree, your life sucks 33638 You deserved it 2879 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foreversingle - Netherlands - Helmond Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML I agree, your life sucks 49332 You deserved it 3974 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML I agree, your life sucks 38211 You deserved it 16271 271 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By drixxy - United States - Irvine Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML I agree, your life sucks 27038 You deserved it 1684 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/6/2020 05:05 Baked Today, I was supposed to have my first job interview for a bakery franchise. Turns out all the applications are submitted to every store, and I was called to the wrong one. FML I agree, your life sucks 1305 You deserved it 98 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jessi - United States Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML I agree, your life sucks 42707 You deserved it 5758 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kandi - Philippines Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 13380 You deserved it 79473 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By -_- - United States Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML I agree, your life sucks 38870 You deserved it 5330 214 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hunterjumper1212 - United States - San Rafael Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML I agree, your life sucks 22197 You deserved it 2852 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bachelor - United States Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML I agree, your life sucks 43639 You deserved it 3660 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stillwaiting - United Kingdom Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 50273 You deserved it 11111 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chickety boom - United States - Austin Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML I agree, your life sucks 43891 You deserved it 4277 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theoriginalkydd - Canada - Toronto Today, I met up with my ex girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas... FML I agree, your life sucks 1064 You deserved it 3461 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itchtoscratch Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 14771 You deserved it 3050 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Meg - United States Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML I agree, your life sucks 12327 You deserved it 43572 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ellie - United States Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML I agree, your life sucks 35580 You deserved it 3118 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gretchen Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 28255 You deserved it 5649 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By allykat - Canada - Brampton Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML I agree, your life sucks 32232 You deserved it 5671 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML I agree, your life sucks 37861 You deserved it 4030 280 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By annoymous - Australia - Glenroy Today, it was the first time I was meeting my guy's parents. Turns out he forgot it was his mum's birthday and I ended up having to meet his whole family. FML I agree, your life sucks 6572 You deserved it 713 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ashamedklutz - United Kingdom - Dunfermline Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML I agree, your life sucks 41484 You deserved it 5037 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 45389 You deserved it 6789 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By katerina - United Kingdom Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML I agree, your life sucks 53082 You deserved it 4183 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ash - United States Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML I agree, your life sucks 30783 You deserved it 14746 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML I agree, your life sucks 25362 You deserved it 3685 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sick and awkward - United States - Silver Spring Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML I agree, your life sucks 32162 You deserved it 3553 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mewsmash - United States - Dublin Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML I agree, your life sucks 21180 You deserved it 1530 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 65091 You deserved it 3303 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohtheshame Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 42732 You deserved it 10672 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - France - Issy-les-moulineaux Today, I had a heart attack. In the hospital the doctor compared my heart to that of a stressed out 60 year-old's. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 24079 You deserved it 1920 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By super maman - France - Montauban Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML I agree, your life sucks 43596 You deserved it 5460 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cuntingbitchofawhore - United States - Bloomington Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML I agree, your life sucks 21933 You deserved it 2247 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML I agree, your life sucks 11301 You deserved it 41187 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jgw Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML I agree, your life sucks 5637 You deserved it 660 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Don’t Think About It. Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1334 You deserved it 200 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jaydiv - Australia Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML I agree, your life sucks 9541 You deserved it 36289 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Michelle - United States Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML I agree, your life sucks 45355 You deserved it 4751 255 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Faithy - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9708 You deserved it 48251 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/5/2020 05:00 TMI Today, I was trying to teach my Aunt and Gran to use Google drive to share and upload pictures, when I scrolled past an image of my… yep. I didn't have a mirror when the pic was taken and I was concerned about a sore. Now they just think I'm a whore. FML I agree, your life sucks 1183 You deserved it 461 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pip - United States Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44777 You deserved it 6660 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7553839 - Wednesday 18 October 2017 3:50 "Hey Ralph, check out my new box!" "Hang on Fred, I gotta bark at this idiot carrying around a box!" Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7553839 - Wednesday 18 October 2017 3:50 "Hey Ralph, check out my new box!" "Hang on Fred, I gotta bark at this idiot carrying around a box!" Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 625 You deserved it 135 4 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 845 You deserved it 179 8 Comments
"Hang on Fred, I gotta bark at this idiot carrying around a box!"