The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

By ugly - 07/04/2009 23:34 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 97

A mess of hurt

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 307

How the other half lives

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 16:00

Today, I waxed my asshole and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I had to shove toilet paper down my crack, because I have things to do that require me to get dressed and go out in public. It still bled through my trousers. It looks like I got my period, and I’m a 6”4 man with a beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 1 190

Mud bogging

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 173

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 47

Soggy mess

By Baffled - 04/03/2025 12:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife went and bought a set of fancy, expensive towels and threw all our old towels away. These new towels don't dry. I've been rubbing myself for ten minutes and I'm still wet. How did she buy expensive, broken towels? How do you make a towel that doesn't dry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 92

Introverts unite!

By Introverted - 31/10/2023 10:00

Today, I wanted to bust my introverted routine and posted on social media an invite to see a play. Two friends responded. I took the first up on the offer but she backed out later. When I tried to get tickets for the day the second friend was going, they were sold out. I'm now going to the play by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 108

Wingnut

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, my dad's conspiracy lunatic of a new wife reported my husband and me to CPS because she found out that we vaccinated our kids. I know I shouldn't worry but one single false allegation is all it takes to ruin lives and lose custody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 57

Undisclosed annoyance

By Hdbelle - 13/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 92

Who are you calling random?!

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 12:00 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I failed a calculus exam because I simply was too burnt out to study for it. I have not wanted to even look at a math problem since the beginning of the year, and I procrastinate all day instead of doing work, and it leads me here, typing at 2 a.m. to random strangers while having to get up tomorrow at 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 178

Mix up

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a VIP visited our building. I was put in charge of his hospitality and was very nervous. At one point, he asked me if he could, “Ahem… wash my hands.” Without thinking, I took him to our kitchen so he could use the sink. Turns out he needed a pee. He looked at me like I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 226

Crap

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 65

Frozen

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 85

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 20:00

Today, I found out that my parents are in trouble because they left me home alone for almost two weeks (I'm 16) and my Karen neighbor found out and called social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 70

Opt out

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on our first wedding anniversary, my husband confessed that he had tried to leave me at the altar and only went through with it due to my dad, brothers, whiskey, and drowsy cold medicine, but now tat he’s given it the old college try and lasted a whole year, he wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 65

Great minds think alike

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 03:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I came in to work to hand in my resignation. The minute I walked in, my manager took me aside and said he wanted to talk to me in private. He then cancelled my position and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 97

The truth is out there

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 152

Stay home next year

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 00:00 - India - Puducherry

Today, my father is a 70 year-old narcissist deep in debt - because he spends so much to show off and boost his ego to unknown people - but never spends a single cent on family. He nags me non stop and shouts that he's going to die in front of my toddlers. Why did I want to visit family for holidays? FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 130

Boys will be boys

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 04:59

Today, my boys get in so much trouble, I don’t even bother checking on them anymore. Instead, every ten minutes, I yell up the stairs to stop whatever they’re doing, and every time without fail they guiltily apologise and try to blame each other/promise to fix it/swear not to do it again. EVERY TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 976

Polly wanna latte

By Anonymous - 20/11/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I thought I'd make my own coffee at home to save money. As I was grinding the beans, my flatmate's pet parrot decided to join the party and imitate the noise of the coffee grinder. For an hour. I ended up with a headache, a half-finished cup of coffee, and a parrot that now thinks it's a barista. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 173

Creepy

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at a Dollar Store today with my roommate (I'm 31, my roommate is 32) where some guy stalked us all through the store, and even waited outside the store for us. I had to resort to pretending the Uber driver was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 104

Family time

By skinny - 01/11/2023 00:02

Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 63

Behave yourselves

By DogStew - 16/11/2023 08:00

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 108

Recycled

By Anonymous - 20/02/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me to my face that I’m the reason climate change is killing babies. All I did was throw a snotty hankie in the bin instead of composting it to be used in her vegetable patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 106

Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 68

Thievery Ltd.

By Anonymous - 05/10/2019 16:00

Today, I saw a neglected potted palm tree on the front porch of what I thought was an empty house down the street from me. I took it home to nurse it back to health. When I got home from work, it was gone. Later, when taking a walk, I spotted the palm, right back on the porch I'd taken it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 2 663

Big man

By Giant - 29/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, while doing chemistry, I was repeatedly reprimanded by the teacher for holding the test tubes higher than my partner's head. I'm 6'2, and the person I was assigned to work with is about 5'1. You can't switch partners unless your partner is absent or gets pulled from the lab for being a dangerous idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 151

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I found out that at my work they are cutting one and a half of our departments, and I might need to find a new job. The problem is it's going to be really hard to get new job, as nowhere will want to hire someone who needs surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 86

I'm always right

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Crestview

Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 94

Toxic workplace (literally)

By Bob - 06/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after I left my job at lunch yesterday and didn't return because I felt sick to my stomach after they had me melting plastic, even though I asked for a mask and they just gave me a small desktop fan, they just called and want me back. Me, being desperate for work, I had to say yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 146

FML on Facebook

Keywords

My ex Love Sex Weird Surprise Work Roommate Fire Neighbours Miscellaneous Noise Birthday Cute Embarrassing Games Weddings Awkward Money Suspicious Music Drunk Cops Gross Poopoo peepee Cars Transportation Relatable Bodyshaming Dating Family

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 185

You deserved it 9 406

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 362

You deserved it 4 129

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 946

You deserved it 8 675

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 229

You deserved it 4 572

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 473

You deserved it 3 325

Today, after hitting hard times and needing a place to stay, I'd asked my sister for help to which she sent me a paragraph-long response about how it would break their lease if they had people live there, leading me to sleep on a friend's couch, I found out our tweaker mom started staying at my sisters and didn't leave for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 187