moods today are slow as **** huh?

hahahaha that's funny just don't die man fight back!!! ahhh! lol

haha #1 anyways just ask her duh

YDI it for being a pussy. talk to her lol

WTF?

mess her up with the " force"™

I'd like to be friends with your wife. She sounds fun. Seriously.

lmao! ydi

OP please tell your wife that certain events got in the way and we need to reschedule the hit

Fun? I don't want to know what evil things you would plan with her.... Take her out first, OP!

you probably married an Asian or Mexican who doesn't speak English for the life of her and just foes not undrestand what widowed means... lol

    

That made me LOL XD hahahahahagaha!

LOL The FML is that you crapped you pants over that xD

I'm sensing a lifetime movie coming on...

now would be a good time to invest in a firearm

FUNNY; better watchh yer backk:)

haha, that sucks. take her off your life insurance!

Kentucky- 16,000 people in the state. Only 16 last names. BAM!

if it wasn't for "I'm scared" this would be the greatest fml of all time.

RUN!!!!!!!!

lmao. xD thats just wow.

run, just run away a fast as you can

RUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!

well, there's only one thing you can do... a preumptive strike!

omg that's horrible

er...April Fools?

haha yeah... why don't you just ask her. be like, so... Honey I have a serious question: are you gonna kill me?

57, that's when she'll strike! :0

Gay FML...

op what did u do to ur wife??? any who don't fall asleep...lol oh wait that's Freddy :)

watch your back, or come join me. I'm at the store.

haha you prolly deserve it

see you wouldn't have this problem if you kept your wife in the kitchen

I know sounds like some shit I'd do. We'd get along great. & YprollyDI!

ydi for pissing her off

RUN and HIDE OP...!!!!! run and hide...!!! NOW...!!!!!!

Jamal will you ever leave the store?

Damn, either sleep with one eye open, or get the hell out of there o_O

ahahaha

lmfao!!!!! win

BAHAHA! this made my day

lol same

he's probably gone by now...RIP op

yea it is!

Define fun.

some1's ******... :D

That's where all women belong learning the tools to make them successful and obedient.

Daanng, the mods are fast today.

ahahaha I do nt see how this is an FML but that sucks!

RUN!!

Kill her first.

lol! By the way.. anyone can mod.

haha she's just doing it to get you back for cheating on her

No, not anyone can. I'm pretty sure she meant the staff members with "(FML staff)" by their name and the red ribbon on their comments. The ones who moderated that comment really quickly. -_-

haha 14

Idk I'm on the app, I don't see staff anywhere, and I can mod.. so I figured all can.

I don't have a facebook so I wouldn't no,but is there anyway she could have accidently done that

No. I'm a "moderator". As in a staff member. Not everyone can get rid of comments, obviously, otherwise every comment would be gone. And you can't moderate comments. You can VOTE for stories so that the moderators can pick more easily. Only staff can moderate comments.

lol I like yur pink tiger!

lol I would start cooking my own food if I were you and check your brakes before you leave too.

You can help moderate and vote if a fml should be publishedbut the actual publishing and moderating of fml and comments can only be done by the fml staff...

oops, Vanni you were faster then me :D

so run like he'll sleep with one eye open you can forgive or forget and tell everyone the damage's done you can't stop me now!

this is purty funny (: I mean I'm glad I'm not in your situation (; if I was and this is just a tip.. get out now! and leave a suicide note (:

Thank you intoxicunt and Vanni I don't know what was said, because the comments were moderated, but goodness, I didn't think that would spark an argument?

where's my post taken again... 

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@37 that might have been what he/she meant

59: Enter Sandwoman? So yeah, post on her wall: "Honey, it's my turn to sleep with the gun."

and this is when you change your relationship status from married to, in an open relationship with: her mother, or ... which, would be just as scary.

33- you can on the app if you go to the last little tab, there's a load of other things there too.

wowwww, I didn't know dead people could get on FML. xD

yeah, cuz that's pretty funny  would you have laughed as well? 

Or she's just crazy. No offence OP.

haha. This made me lol. FYL and hope it was just a prank.

I agree! FYL OP if you drank the coffee!

nah, she got tired of the kitchen jokes lol

It's the beginning of The Great Sammich Rebellion of 2010.

105 - mmmmm ;)

lmao rebellion will be failure sammiches are to delicious.. which reminds me I need to tx a couple girls to come over n make me sammiches :P lmao

I agree. I'd be scurred too :/

samee. i think its a warning btw epoh, adorable picture(:

On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm It was submitted 3 hours ago. I think he's fine.

#11 u could have said "@# 11" in stead of the time that peston posted it

*FACEPALM* Oh. My. God. Is everything THAT hard to understand? Ok, let me spell it out niiiiiiice and slowly. She was claiming the post could have been submitted days ago. I copied and pasted the time **THE FML WAS SUBMITTED** for her to see, because apparently everyone on here is a bunch of unobservant brain dead zombies. Look at the FML. Here, I'll copy the whole thing so you don't get lost scrolling up. Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML #10920381 (37+2) I agree, your life sucks (676) - you totally deserved it (25) On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky) See? It's the time it was submitted. Ugh.

It's ok Toxi, I understood you ^_^

rawr intox pwning the nabs ;)

Thanks guys. O hai again, Zachary! :)

isn't that when it was posted not submitted?

Um, no. It was posted at about 5:15 pm......like they ALWAYS are. If you look at the times on each FML, they are pretty diverse, even though they get posted at the same time.

Lmao at these noobs. They must only know of FML because of the app, and have never been to the site.

My fml was published a month after I submitted it and they claimed it was submitted the day it was posted.

Maybe somebody saw your FML while voting and resubmitted it later as their own.

My name was under it.

No, it was actually really funny the first time i read it.

no I laughed my butt off lol

yeah i laughed loudly in my car in a parking lot and the people near me looked at me all crazy...

neah, not because you laughed... because of other reasons you know very well and I dont have to remind you of :P