Miscellaneous: Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the... - FML

By embareassed - 20/01/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 683

You deserved it 85 703

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Kids are hard work

Overreach

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 454

You deserved it 45 923

By Poorphone - 08/12/2016 17:23 - United States - Denver

Today, my car got stuck in a foot of snow. I tried desperately digging around my wheels to see if it would help. I was finally able to get out 10 minutes later only to realize that I had dropped my phone in the snow while I was digging and had run over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 1 008

By pizzafaceinc - 02/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 679

You deserved it 3 029

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

By DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 157

By alycion - 17/06/2019 19:07

Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 115

By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Spicy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 141

You deserved it 3 956

By what434 - 08/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 257

You deserved it 44 449

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 16:25 - Serbia - Beograd

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 660

You deserved it 4 368

Different together

By jessie - 15/05/2021 04:00

Today, my mom walked in on me shaving the tops of my legs. She called me a freak, since apparently women aren’t even supposed to grow hair there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 47

By vey - 08/02/2014 22:14 - China - Beijing

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 696

You deserved it 5 229

By holliefall - 02/06/2009 08:42 - United States

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 425

You deserved it 22 707

By kitkat - 17/09/2014 19:48 - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 283

You deserved it 4 434

By TheJazzKid - 30/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 2 553

By sobasics - 06/05/2013 23:43 - United States

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 3 704

By Anonymous - 29/03/2012 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed. His reason? A Las Vegas wedding came up on Groupon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 248

You deserved it 3 158

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 317

You deserved it 1 231

By Mary - 13/01/2013 15:49 - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 334

You deserved it 5 246

By taylor_eileen - 26/12/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 514

You deserved it 3 174

By sasquatch - 08/09/2012 04:03 - United States - Katonah

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 33 498

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 841

You deserved it 4 534

By someone - 17/09/2013 16:38 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 467

You deserved it 6 888

By frenchgirl - 23/11/2009 06:59 - United States

Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 597

You deserved it 6 784

By "Gvinson36" - 06/09/2017 01:30

Today, as they were being dropped off, I was informed that I'll be taking care of my grandparents' two cats. My apartment complex doesn't allow pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 297

You deserved it 240

On the can

By Mortified - 31/03/2020 14:00

Today, I was using the bathroom at Costco when a janitor forced my door open so she could mop, then didn't bother to close it again. Apparently, the handicapped stall was too big for her to see me sitting in the corner, and I had to awkwardly squat-walk all the way to the door to close it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 171

By j4 - 19/12/2014 23:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 489

You deserved it 2 944

By minustoenail - 12/10/2012 05:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 426

You deserved it 1 981

By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Elmwood Park

Spicy

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 45 417

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 404

You deserved it 25 143

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 631

You deserved it 28 799

By Anonymous - 02/01/2009 18:06 - France

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 357

You deserved it 3 431

By shnigel - 27/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 344

You deserved it 7 297

By breakfast tea - 07/04/2012 19:30 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 696

You deserved it 28 499

By bman - 07/04/2012 06:41 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 914

You deserved it 50 070

By baffled - 22/08/2012 20:36 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 463

You deserved it 1 832

By notacatperson - 01/03/2011 10:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 984

You deserved it 2 774

By Lauren - 08/09/2010 23:13 - Australia

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 559

You deserved it 8 127

By Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer had kept my I.D by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 334

You deserved it 4 052

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 522

You deserved it 399

By Anonymous - 08/06/2015 19:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 3 195

By thanks dad - 04/01/2018 19:00

Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 795

You deserved it 410

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:14

Why the hell would you do that? Pervert. Besides, a lot of elevators have cameras too.

WakingTheFallen 2

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:15

Why would you want to pull your pants and underwear down anyway?

Comments

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:13

YDI.You're retarded for not forseeing this.

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:45

YDI for looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 14:23

Win.

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 15:03

LOL!

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 15:28

win^

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:02

WIN!!

livelaughlove12 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 1:33

HAHA.

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Thursday 21 January 2010 4:03

lol, awesome man :)

EncryptedEggroll 2

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Friday 22 January 2010 3:24

You're a comic genius!

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Friday 22 January 2010 8:42

Wow.. retard what did you do then, jump her xD

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Saturday 23 January 2010 22:54

omg too perfect

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Tuesday 26 January 2010 5:57

#35 EPIC WIN

RKftw 0

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Thursday 28 January 2010 3:58

who needs Jesus, as long as we have #35 we will be fine in 2012

KittyKat_Chan 0

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Monday 1 February 2010 3:05

#35, you made my day. XD OP, you're dumb. YDI.

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Sunday 14 March 2010 15:43

So. Much. Win

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Sunday 27 June 2010 6:14

I love you 35!!

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Monday 4 October 2010 1:57

Win!!! @32 made my day!!

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Friday 10 December 2010 11:26

ydi retard

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:13

gays

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:14

Why the hell would you do that? Pervert. Besides, a lot of elevators have cameras too.

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 15:46

He was caught with his pants down. And it's a dorm elevator, so likely cameras on the outside to avoid security having to sit through a ridiculous amounts of kids making out on the way to their rooms.

Seventytimeseven 0

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 21:08

Depends on the school. I know my college has cameras inside the dorm elevators cause apparently it was a cool thing to pee in the corner of the elevator while drunk idk...people are crazy

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Thursday 24 February 2011 7:00

yeah the making out part makes sense dude. but the pissing, really you have to be completely shit faced

karch 0

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Tuesday 20 September 2011 8:03

lookin like a fool with yo pants on da ground

karch 0

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Tuesday 20 September 2011 8:03

lookin like a fool with yo pants on da ground

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Friday 1 March 2013 21:23

Maybe op was trying to pee in the corner... That would explain why his pants were down. But no matter what the reason, op you definitely deserve it!

WakingTheFallen 2

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:15

Why would you want to pull your pants and underwear down anyway?

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 22:34

obviously, just for kicks.... I don't know about... the rest of the world, but never have I EVER had the urge to pull down my pants in an elevator just for fun. I wonder what I've been missing out on that makes this so appealing? YDI.

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Friday 19 August 2011 5:14

No. Just no. I am so sick of these fake FMLs. NO ONE in their right mind would do this. If you don't have an FML to post, don't post shit like this just to get attention. I don't care if this post gets -100 thumbs, just stop all of the whining for attention.

geppy 0

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:16

F HER life. Also, what you did is not normal even if you weren't caught. You need professional assistance. YDI.

Stahn 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 0:33

Agreed. He clearly has tourettes of the body. This is not normal.

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Sunday 1 April 2012 5:40

What do you mean it's not normal? He's in college. If I had a dollar for every thoughtless college kid, I'd make a movie about them just to prove it isn't as abnormal as you think it is.

emsrobot 16

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:18

wtf hahhaahaah weirdo.

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:23

lol were you drunk? I moderated this by the way.

summerloolooloo 0

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:23

Haha. WAS there a camera in that elevator? Sounds like something I would've laughed about.

f_alltheirlives 3

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:33

I hope she kicked you in the balls!

Idontgivedamn 0

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:35

YDI, you total creepo, I hope there were cameras and you get kicked out of your dorm for it. Today as I was getting on the elevator at my dorm there was a kid with his pants and underwear around his knees, FML.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 16

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 81

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 87