The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Respect the herb

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 10:00

Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 603

No silver linings

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 02:00 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I found out that I can no longer work at my dream job because of their financial status. And of course, just now that I was finally beginning to be happy with my life, something like this naturally had to happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 110

Cough up

By RIP me - 20/05/2025 01:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I was ordered to pay most of my income in child support to my ex. We weren't ever married and her kid is not mine! We lived together for two years until we realized we weren't compatible, then she sued me when we split. I'm now paying more than her kid's rich-ass dad. How the fuck is this fair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 110

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 433

The line must go up

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 11:00

Today, my boss sacked me because I only sold 3 cars last month. He made no allowance for the fact we’re in such a rural location we only had 3 customers actually walk in the door, and I sold a car to all 3 of them. That’s a 100% success rate. What else could I do, drag customers in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 79

Time to move

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 03:00

Today, when a discussion with my roommate veered into politics, he made it clear he thinks I'm an instrument of his oppression because I'm not a communist. I pay rent and utilities, and buy groceries. He and his wife take up most of the space in the apartment and I keep the secret that she never stopped cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 313

All you need is love

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 10:00

Today, my polyamorous friend has 3 boyfriends. My other polyamorous friend has 2 boyfriends and my other other polyamorous friend has a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 203

Crushed

By Anonymous - 16/10/2023 00:02

Today, I realized I have a crush on one of my co-workers. I’m married. I would never ever act on it but it’s really scaring me that I have these feelings and can’t make them go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 207

By nobar - 04/06/2019 06:00

Today, I learned how to make my fridge colder. I felt that what it was set on felt a little warmer than normal, so I turned it down. Now everything in my fridge is frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 1 746

Gassed

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went clubbing. A girl I was dancing with leaned in with a disgusted expression and said, "God, it stinks! Someone keeps farting… I swear they've got IBS." It was me. I have IBS. I was farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 503

It's been a while…

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 14:00

Today, I calculated how long it’s been since I had a partner. Works out to 7 years officially and 11 years unofficially. However, if you count the fact that my deadbeat ex wasn’t ever really present in the marriage, then I’ve been single all my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 158

Alexa, play "Jobseeker" by Sleaford Mods

By Probably Not - 09/12/2023 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, after 6 years of marriage, my wife called me toxic and abusive. All because I asked her if she's going to find a job, as it's getting harder for me to take care of everything, and we need more money at the moment. She's been unemployed for almost two years already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 134

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 113

Small world

By Ashy.Kinz - 08/07/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, while visiting family in my very small hometown for the summer, I met a guy and we really hit it off. Everything was going great, and I brought him home to meet my family, where my grandmother told me he was 16. Now I’m definitely not getting lucky this trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 256

Run for the hills

By Glume - 10/12/2023 17:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. We yelled for 20 minutes and then he put his hands on my neck. Once we'd calmed down, he explained he wanted to strangle me like Homer does Bart, but didn't follow through. This all started when I asked if he read a text I sent earlier in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 171

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 06:00

Today, my friend got drunk with me and texted my boyfriend, saying she was in love with him and missed him. Her brother came to my house since she got caught drunk and gave a “lecture” on responsibility. I don't know what’s worse, the lecture or the fact that he’s my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 187

Yoyo

By jetpack girl - 22/02/2023 22:00

Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 107

Chill out, dudebro

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 20:00

Today, my hair is so long hair that it touches my shoulders now. My father attempted to bribe me into cutting my hair several times. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 265

So compassionate

By Charlie Given - 26/07/2021 01:53 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out that yet another woman I was interested in is nothing but a addict. All the women I've tried to date for 3 years now have turned out to be fucked up in some major way. Why can't I just find a non-loser for a girlfriend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 934

Charlie Given tells us more.

Charlie Given 26

Monday 26 July 2021 1:05

Holy shit I can't believe my FML got published thank you. I've been actively dating for about 3 years now, but it has been over 8 years since I've been intimate with a woman. Not that I haven't been trying but health issues with my child and I have have made it difficult sometimes to date. But some of the biggest issues have been finding someone who can look pass the fact that I'm a single dad with two kids and health issues. But afew ladies on occasion seemed like good possibilities. And we did start to get to know each other better only for me to realize that they were drunks, heavy drug addicts, abusive to their kids, trying to use me for weed or just leading me on for kicks and being ghosted alot. so all I can really do is keep looking and hoping. and for anyone wondering I live in the upper peninsula of Michigan if you're interested LOL don't know why it says Ottawa.

Get me out of here

By dang ol' anonymous, man - 01/05/2022 03:59

Today, I was stuck in a room for eight hours with several guys doing impressions of Boomhauer from King of the Hill. Talkin' 'bout that dang ol' FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 160

I will always love you

By Ihavenothing - 01/05/2022 02:00

Today, at a very important company function where lots of the big bosses were, including the CEO of the company, I absentmindedly introduced the executive director whose name is Whitney as “Whitney Houston.” On stage. In front of ALL of them. I’ll never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 417

Smoking gun

By cami - 19/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 112

By latypik - 30/09/2012 07:21 - China - Hefei

Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that I deserved to be punished. He didn’t fine me, instead he sent me to the naughty step for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 185

By LaFrancesa - 08/07/2013 03:28 - Mexico - Chihuahua

Spicy

Today, as an overprotective mother, I asked my 19 year-old son, who was going to spend his day on the beach, if he’d taken any protection with him. He pulled out a box of condoms, beaming with pride. I was talking about suntan lotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 196

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 16:05 - Germany - Kerpen

Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 1 773

Gratitude walks

By mala_19 - 18/08/2021 02:00 - Sweden - Skellefteå

Today, my 11 month-old son stopped saying mom and started saying dad. He already looks exactly like him. I can't help but feel jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 298

Strange dynamic

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 01:59

Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 2 340

Despair

By TeachingSucks - 17/05/2023 11:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I'm grading final projects for a junior level college class. A student finally turned in their work, after months of encouragement and coaxing. Half of it was plain wrong, the rest had so many spelling and grammatical mistakes, it appeared to be written by a drunk autocorrect program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 123

Dirty protest

By Paul - 21/08/2023 00:02

Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 122

Pervert!

By Nessa - 11/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband sniffing my sister’s panties from her laundry basket. He had the gall to defend himself and told me, “If you wore these sexy thongs and cheekies instead of them granny panties, I wouldn’t be doing this.” I wear “granny panties” because I recently gave birth to our daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 164

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my neighbors put up their Christmas lights. They blink red and green on and off. Ever since they put them up, my dog hasn't stopped barking. It's 2:00AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 54

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 964

You deserved it 1 870

Today, our 6-month-old is finally sleeping through the night. We thought we'd finally get a good night sleep ourselves, until my dumb husband fell asleep with the TV on and our 5-year-old ended up watching Saw 3 by herself. Now the 5-year-old wakes up with nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 242

You deserved it 618

Today, it was only after our third date, a random traffic stop by law enforcement, and a long, insane argument with the officers that I found out that the guy I've recently been getting to know is a Sovereign Citizen nutjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 174

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 910

You deserved it 6 680

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 8 874