By Anonymous - 8/2/2021 02:01 Receptacle Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML I agree, your life sucks 808 You deserved it 165 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, the two government buildings on either side of my apartment both started renovations. It will be about two months of constant banging as they cut and put up the steel on both sites. FML I agree, your life sucks 3419 You deserved it 239 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yeueid - Estonia Today, I found out that whenever I text my boyfriend something cute, he texts his friends and asks what to say in his reply. Basically, I've been talking to his friends all the time. FML I agree, your life sucks 19420 You deserved it 1720 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SnurklesMcGee - Canada Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML I agree, your life sucks 21503 You deserved it 1988 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - State College Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML I agree, your life sucks 41962 You deserved it 22564 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sucks - Netherlands Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 12733 You deserved it 34462 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FlyingCoffeeMonster - United States - Oreland Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 12715 You deserved it 3030 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ren - United States Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML I agree, your life sucks 52544 You deserved it 4308 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By that was mine - United States - Cherry Hill Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML I agree, your life sucks 35756 You deserved it 2313 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Samaritan - United Kingdom Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML I agree, your life sucks 35614 You deserved it 2983 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nocostumeforme - Canada Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML I agree, your life sucks 28912 You deserved it 6953 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GuardOtto - United States Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 36019 You deserved it 4806 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - Nora Today, I was walking back to my hotel from the town square, and got lost. I turned back and walked around town for an hour, freaking out and panicking. When I finally found the hotel, I realized it was practically a stone's throw from where I was when I turned around. FML I agree, your life sucks 20139 You deserved it 6904 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mac cayne - France - Strasbourg Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML I agree, your life sucks 28752 You deserved it 48599 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Smittynumerouno - United States - Amarillo Today, I had an old man yell in my face because the boxes in our store only had Spanish words on them. I spent 15 minutes apologizing and trying to explain that the English was on the back side. He stormed out before I could even show him. FML I agree, your life sucks 10673 You deserved it 904 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/5/2020 20:00 So special Today, my boyfriend gave me the best birthday ever, then promptly broke up with me at midnight to get back with his ex, because he "didn't want to ruin my special day." FML I agree, your life sucks 1767 You deserved it 109 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML I agree, your life sucks 10138 You deserved it 1019 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Amazon addict Today, I found out my husband spent us into overdraft charges through compulsive online shopping. Again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1458 You deserved it 174 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hlev24 - United States Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML I agree, your life sucks 17110 You deserved it 109723 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/2/2021 02:00 Not having a good time, really Today, I not only woke up with yet another splitting headache, but I stubbed my toe and my desktop kept crashing. That wouldn't be too terrible if it wasn't the second day in a row of bad luck, which previously involved someone stealing my card info and buying gamer keys with it the day after I got paid. FML I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 67 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pixiegirl - United States Today, I found out that my "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 38784 You deserved it 6794 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By love and tolerape, apparently - India - Jamshedpur Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 36876 You deserved it 8303 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got better phone reception crossing an inlet on a ferry than I normally do at my own house. FML I agree, your life sucks 3535 You deserved it 335 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DrunkGirl - France Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 9603 You deserved it 62251 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, despite being the fittest member of my family, with a good exercise routine and a decent diet, I'm the only one who was just diagnosed with diabetes. Meanwhile, the rest of my family are fat, lazy slobs who eat like shit, but are otherwise healthy as horses FML I agree, your life sucks 1785 You deserved it 240 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seaweedlady - United States Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML I agree, your life sucks 31880 You deserved it 4854 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Poopie - Canada Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML I agree, your life sucks 28128 You deserved it 3183 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mick Today, on my and my wife's very first camping holiday, someone cut a hole in the tent wall while we slept and stole everything, including my keys and the car. Finally getting home, it seems the thieves got our address from the car's sat-nav and burgled the house as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 6648 You deserved it 481 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Aciliveth - Canada Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 43985 You deserved it 4428 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By XRayXLopez1 - United States - Dallas Today, I met a friend I hadn't seen in forever. After talking for a while, he says "I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to you." FML I agree, your life sucks 12380 You deserved it 1487 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sad.To.Be.Me. - United States Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML I agree, your life sucks 28470 You deserved it 4437 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WellThatSucks - United States Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML I agree, your life sucks 13108 You deserved it 1356 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jj - Australia - Windermere Park Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML I agree, your life sucks 36997 You deserved it 3348 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gaga - United States - San Jose Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML I agree, your life sucks 8941 You deserved it 38922 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emily - United States - Arlington Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML I agree, your life sucks 55973 You deserved it 4885 214 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soprahb - United States Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML I agree, your life sucks 23333 You deserved it 1823 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Omaha Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML I agree, your life sucks 45550 You deserved it 2910 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unlucky dudebag - United States Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML I agree, your life sucks 38515 You deserved it 4636 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ParkerRommel - United States Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML I agree, your life sucks 25871 You deserved it 6967 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 68453 You deserved it 4238 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States - Omaha Today, I proudly told my family I lost 15 pounds. My dad looked me up and down and said, "Well, you've got a looooong way to go." FML I agree, your life sucks 21145 You deserved it 1947 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without... I agree, your life sucks 134 You deserved it 30 2 Comments
Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML I agree, your life sucks 578 You deserved it 77 4 Comments
