Sound like your going to get an F.

This isn't an FML. . . it's a YAD (You're a Dumbass)!

I don't think it's a proper compliment for your professor. Mature women likes a more direct type of approach. Next time, walk up to her and call her uncultured swine.

If you have a unflattering nickname for your professor, never accidentally reveal it to them. Keep it in private.
I once had a rather intimidating English writing professor in my freshman year. Thanks unintentionally to my mother, his (private) nickname became Darth Fader. (Fader was his last name) I told some friends and classmates, but never addressed him by it. He also really wasn't a bad teacher--just intimidating really.

I had a teacher who was the absolute worst. All of her classes failed the first test with the exception of me and my friend, and we both got 70s. She blamed it on us, the students, for not studying. All 120 of us. And there was a girl in my class who had dysgraphia, but she wouldn't accommodate her because "people in pre-ap don't have learning disabilities." I came up with this thing that Satan divorced her because even she was too evil for him, and I told it to my friends. Last I heard, that's still circling the school.

It was more or less the fact that I either have Asperger's syndrome--or I'm Asperger-like. I'm extremely smart, but this was the first time I was away on my own from my family and this was a class I had to take. (I couldn't drop it) Also, I learned an entirely new way to write essays--change can be difficult, and I get anxious when things are new to me or I badly need help. I did keep up a standard B in the class and by the end of the semester, my professor met with me privately as he did all the students and told me that I surprised him as he though I was going to give up and drop the class. I never had him again, but would see him from time to time and say hello on a friendly basis.

Also, don't get me started on my elementary school gym teacher--she was the WORST!

If you're a short, green complected male with a appetite for pork, then this could still work.

Spellcheck? Put in a table of contents? What?! Don't keep us in suspense!

Plot twist: You're professor has a massive obsession with the Muppets.

"you are professor..." gg autocorrect

I’m going to guess you forgot to turn the sink off at home

Are you Barron Trump by any chance?

What did Miss Piggy ever do to you?