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The all-time greatest FMLs

Never leave evidence

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 02:00

Today, I asked my crush out, after a year of liking her. What did she do? She laughed, took a screenshot of it, and sent it to her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 146

Home invasion

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 00:02

Today, I found my neighbours bratty kid in my house, eating my snacks, dirtying my sofa, and drawing on pages torn from my books. I marched him back home by the ear, him screaming I was a meanie, and his mother's only excuse was, “Boys will be boys.” No apology or anything. I HATE KIDS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 152

Did I stutter?

By Ally - 20/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had a job interview. I have a speech impediment and as much as I tried to keep it under control, it came out during the interview. I could tell the interviewers were trying to hold in their laughter. They ended the interview after 5 agonizing minutes, saying they’ll contact me. I left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 104

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 18:01

Today, my mom sent me to a counselor she knew "through the church" so that I could get some stressors off my chest. Worst idea ever. This "counselor" invalidated everything I had to say and basically told me to pray the issues away, all while completely ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 137

Weird family

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 08:01 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 170

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 167

Context matters

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 18:00 - United States - Ronkonkoma

Today, my coworker tried to justify the overturn of Roe vs Wade by saying she had 3 kids and was able to do it. Yes, she was also married to their father for a few years, and when they divorced, the kids lived with him while she couchsurfed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 318

That'll be Kevin in accounting

By Jason McGinnis - 22/09/2020 16:51 - Canada - Brampton

Today, just like every other day, my company is so dysfunctional that local food chains require us to pay cash up front for our catering, because we routinely take 6 months or more to pay for a chicken sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 226

What the hell?

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 22:00

Today, one of my friends came over to go swimming in my pool. Before going back into the house, as it's all carpeted, I automatically took off my trunks, forgetting about my friend. I realized my mistake when my friend commented on my abnormally long foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 1 537

YOU TOLD THEM??

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 18:00

Today, according to my husband's brother, he only went on a second date with me all those years ago because I gave him head on our first date. His father and stepmother supported this claim as well. I can’t decide if I’m more embarrassed they know, or furious that he told them something so crude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 687

Double take

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 02:00

Today, I walked into a job interview, then turned round and walked back out again. The interviewer was a one-night stand that ended very badly months ago, and she remembered me. I could see in her face the interview was pointless, so instead of grovelling I went to the pub to drown my sorrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 553

Loan shark

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 14:00

Today, my manager did that thing where he gave me a performance-based bonus last month, but deducted the bonus from this months pay. He didn’t even try to hide it, it said in plain English "Amount deducted for previous performance bonus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 86

If you tolerate this, then your children will be next

By single again - 15/05/2022 14:00

Today, my now ex and I had a fight because I refuse to tolerate his best friend's raging misogyny and racism. I told him that laughing at those jokes and tolerating those behaviors is just as bad as him doing it himself. He claims it’s not, because he’s dating me and I’m half black so "it’s OK”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 305

By moonlight77 - 11/01/2019 14:00

Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 2 222

WHPJ

By PattyJ - 17/06/2022 12:00

Today, I found out some of my colleagues made a Teams group named “WHPJ” Which stands for “We Hate (My first initial) (My last initial)." They post candid photos of me that were taken without my consent, and make jokes about me. These people pretend to be nice to me at work everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 142

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 05:00

Today, I'm over COVID but have apparently lost my sense of smell and taste. My boyfriend, who thinks he’s a comedian, said at least I can’t complain his farts stink and should have no problem swallowing instead of spitting during blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 366

Different life goals

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 05:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, my boyfriend of almost 3 years told me he wants kids, specifically a biological child with me. When we started dating, I told him that I didn't want kids and he said the same, but now he's changed his mind. I haven't. I love him and will probably lose him because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 223