Today, I found books on the Catholicism in my son's room. Switching faiths can be a big deal, so I asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about. Turns out he was just doing research to aid his goal of seducing and screwing the hot Catholic girl in his university class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son announced he was leaving our religion. I told him that, as sad I was, that I accepted and loved him. He seemed disappointed, and I noticed him discreetly fiddling with a camera. A little snooping led me to his Reddit account, where he called us all, "inbred, illiterate, bible-thumpers." FML
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Today, my dad tried to convert me, as he has numerous times before, and asked me why I was an atheist. After giving him a polite explanation and asking him if we could drop the subject, he nodded slowly and said, "You must be menstruating or something. You'll change your mind." FML
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
Today, my husband won’t speak to our son anymore, because our son has slowly become more religious and is now studying to be a priest, "bringing shame on the family" as my husband calls it. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
He's looking for the part where it says that anal and oral don't count as sex.
cuz803 46
LMAOOO this is what you call dedication! And that effort almost always pays off!!
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
He's looking for the part where it says that anal and oral don't count as sex.
rgkkk 17
Or you can simply sin and ask for forgiveness. Or just pretend you didn't, that will do the trick too.
Marcella1016 32
He could also go the Mormon route. I hear soaking is pretty trendy. Convert her, and you’ll get to have *actual sex* while pretending it’s not sex.
RichardPencil 32
Of course, one could just do the crime and do the time. And if hell doesn't exist, you've just been missing out on a lot of fun worrying about nothing.
debbyman13 22
If age is just a number, sister is just a word
cuz803 46
LMAOOO this is what you call dedication! And that effort almost always pays off!!
JackWood 21
Education is the key to success! lol
Brightside86 31
I would wager your sons stumbled into one of the driving forces behind religion.
george1986 7
like snoop said the game is to be sold, not to be told.