By Peter - 30/6/2021 18:01

What did I say, Roy?

Today, my wife said I was being difficult and unreasonable, and called my mother to talk to me about my behaviour. What did I do you ask? I dared to share my opinion on something I happen to feel strongly about, instead of just mindlessly agreeing with her opinion like I have for the past 22 years. FML
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By  Bogrbon  |  24

As a married man I feel for you. There are just certain things my wife feels like I shouldn’t have an opinion about and she gets upset if I do. For example, If I say I really don’t like some decoration she wants to buy, she complains that none of her friends’ husbands care or have opinions about decorating the house, so why do I have to wreck her plans. I think it’s just part of being married to determine when something is worth arguing about vs just letting your spouse(of either gender) be happy if it’s something small.

How you made it 22 years without learning basic conflict resolution though is anyone’s guess. You and she will have to learn to work out your disagreements in a productive way, and if you need to, get some help. A therapist can help you identify toxic behaviors and resolves them. (Things like avoidance on your part and going to the Mother-In-Law on hers)

COMMENTS
By  Bogrbon  |  24

As a married man I feel for you. There are just certain things my wife feels like I shouldn’t have an opinion about and she gets upset if I do. For example, If I say I really don’t like some decoration she wants to buy, she complains that none of her friends’ husbands care or have opinions about decorating the house, so why do I have to wreck her plans. I think it’s just part of being married to determine when something is worth arguing about vs just letting your spouse(of either gender) be happy if it’s something small.

How you made it 22 years without learning basic conflict resolution though is anyone’s guess. You and she will have to learn to work out your disagreements in a productive way, and if you need to, get some help. A therapist can help you identify toxic behaviors and resolves them. (Things like avoidance on your part and going to the Mother-In-Law on hers)