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Choose your fighter

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during the night, we thought we had an intruder, but it was my girlfriend who grabbed a hammer and went downstairs to check. After it turned out to be the damn cat, I asked her why she made me stay upstairs. Apparently because she’s seen me fight in the past, she felt much safer doing it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 513

Regular occurrence

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 480

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 288

High performance, high risk quipping

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 840

Oddly specific geographical complaint

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I live in Vancouver, Washington where there is absolutely nothing to do for an adult on any day of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 442

Admit it

By Rick - 02/10/2023 08:00

Today, I went to my colleague’s apartment so we could talk about a project for work over dinner. One thing led to another and the sexual tension we couldn’t unleash at work for months got to the best of us. It was the best sex I ever had and I want to come back for more. I just wish I didn’t have a wife at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 523

American Beauty vibes

By vam22222 - 19/08/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I got caught sleeping with my now ex’s dad. He stole my weed, then kicked me out. Then his dad found out he had chlamydia, so now all 3 of us do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 3 236

How are people still doing this?

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I texted my friend to ask if she wanted to grab lunch. She didn't respond, so I followed up with, "You alive? Or just avoiding me?" An hour later, I realized I'd texted my boss. He replied with a very professional, "I’m alive, thank you for asking. Lunch is a bit early for me today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 496

Misquoted

By Anonymous - 07/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the motivational quote I've been living by for months is actually from a misattributed SpongeBob SquarePants meme. No wonder my colleagues looked at me strangely during team meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 571

Broadcasting

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 585

Acquired taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 12:00

Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 484

Pesky ghosts

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was walking down the hallway of my office, texting and not paying attention, when I tripped on… nothing. I just practically face-planted onto the floor, and when I looked up, people chatting in the hallway were staring at me, and asked me if I had tripped over my own foot or if a ghost had pranked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 434

Dude, why?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 06:00

Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 523

Experimenting

By anon - 24/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 504

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Burton

Today, I found out that all together, I have mono, strep, a UTI, and a enlarged spleen. How am I going to tell my friend that I made out with his dad, and now his dad is sick? This man gives his newborn kisses every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 516

Whip it

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to take a slow-motion video of myself flipping my hair like in a shampoo commercial. Instead, I hit my head against the shower door so hard that my shelf of cosmetics collapsed and landed in my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 557

Derpina

By No, I am NOT!!! - 27/02/2026 00:00

Today, in our homecoming high school reunion, the batch's "derpina" broke cardinal rule #1, "No +1", by bringing her baby, brandishing her to everyone. When it was my turn, as I held the baby, she said her first word, "Daddy" and just like back in school, everyone started to tease me with her all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 304

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 30/12/2024 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 459

DIY

By Jezza - 02/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 327

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 371

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 750

Not a theater kid

By Serious actor - 16/06/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I signed up for a theater production as they needed extras. I had exactly one line in the entire play. During opening night, I became so focused on remembering the line, I forgot to walk on stage when it was my cue. People stood there on stage waiting for my character, who was backstage, congratulating himself for not forgetting his line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 342

Where am I?

By Blind AF - 04/11/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I mistook a straw hat for a stack of pancakes. In case you hadn't figured it out, I forgot my glasses at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 344

Don't cheat

By SueJonn - 12/08/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, the essay-writing guy I met on Facebook Messenger who I paid $200 to do my research paper gave me a paper unrelated to the topic. It’s due at midnight tonight. It’s a 8-page long assignment. He blocked me on Facebook. Goodbye graduation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 3 460

And I love her

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 22:00

Today, I wondered who ever came up with the idea that women are elegant and refined. Mine farts like a horse, belches like a bullfrog, eats like a pig, and she's proud of it. Like something out of Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 481

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 03:00

Today, after my workout, I opened my locker to find… nothing. No phone, no keys, no wallet. I panicked and reported it to the front desk. Turns out I’d used locker 37, but my stuff was in 73. The staff found it immediately. I thanked them like they’d saved my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 377

Addicted to mid

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 00:00

Today, the Gen Z at the office introduced me to this book series from "#booktok." I thought why not, and i just read it. I ended up reading all three books in a week and obsessing over the series while the Gen Z didn't move past the first one. The series isn't even that good, but I'm stuck now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 336

Mad about you

By Anon - 28/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I tried to act extra confident by making intense eye contact during a meeting. My boss finally stopped talking and asked, “Do you need something, or are you just glaring at me?” Now everyone thinks I have a crush on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 533

Desperate times, desperate measures

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I hit a low point when I changed the AI Snapchat bot's Bitmoji to look identical to my ex-girlfriend's Bitmoji and have a conversation with it just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 513

Procrastinating my life away

By Beatrix - 11/11/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 407

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The Top

Today, I went to a local Asian restaurant where this adorable Japanese girl works as a server. We had formed a friendship and I was hoping for something more, but I decided to play "hard-to-get" for the last couple of weeks. When I went there today, the place was closed. Permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 901

You deserved it 14 924

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 743

You deserved it 3 739

Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 616

You deserved it 5 605

Today, and for almost 6 years, my wife and I have had issues fighting when we’re drunk. I’ve always gotten/accepted the blame. I quit drinking to try and better our marriage. Now she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 143

Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 995

Today, my second car overheated after having it for like 6 months. Right after getting a new job. It’s currently stuck on the side of the highway, and I have no money to get it towed or fixed. Every time I think things are gonna be okay, they aren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 114