Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15734) - you deserved it (47904)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15733) - you deserved it (27795)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15733) - you deserved it (23965)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15731) - you deserved it (21191)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15729) - you deserved it (20401)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

#19773709
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15728) - you deserved it (7021)

On 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm - animals - by Anon127 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

#2293
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15726) - you deserved it (6830)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:04am - love - by sadass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15725) - you deserved it (30503)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML

#12023647
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15721) - you deserved it (28684)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Syrinth (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15717) - you deserved it (50129)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (64208)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

#2883400
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (47256)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15700) - you deserved it (15975)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: