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Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16983) - you deserved it (48180)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my friend's house, and I asked if I could try on one of her dresses. It was a little snug, but I got it on. When it came time to take it off though, it wouldn't budge. My friend and her mom had to cut it off me. FML

#16627798
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (30497)

On 06/12/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Apple (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16978) - you deserved it (47874)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16977) - you deserved it (54841)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16975) - you deserved it (59067)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

#20517120
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16975) - you deserved it (52718)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16969) - you deserved it (64506)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

#19452879
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16963) - you deserved it (8326)

On 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by dl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you deserved it (34678)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (26847)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

#4863125
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16950) - you deserved it (50639)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I over drafted my account, and I ended up paying an extra 35 bucks for a 1.99 item. It was an application on the iPhone that is supposed to help me keep track of my money. FML

#3578702
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (47817)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:37am - money - by jedd90 (man) - United States (Texas)



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