Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18220) - you deserved it (45359)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML

#19651744
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (5852)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by taob (woman) - China (Guangxi)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (26728)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (32706)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (6124)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (49452)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (27806)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

#2392986
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (42929)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by danyelicindereli (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18204) - you deserved it (63773)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

#20064518
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (5944)

On 09/09/2012 at 11:01am - misc - by Can't Win - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (52273)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

#2228534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (43327)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18201) - you deserved it (1833)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: