Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

#7332045
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5712) - you deserved it (53257)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by mackenzie_cain (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5711) - you deserved it (4177)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

#13310040
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5709) - you deserved it (39854)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:10pm - misc - by 2234 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to admit that my jealousy issues were becoming a problem when I almost told my boyfriend not to apply at the local McDonald's, because of the high school girls that would see him there. FML

#19454390
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5708) - you deserved it (25182)

On 04/12/2012 at 5:27am - love - by Jealousbitch - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML

#19988832
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5707) - you deserved it (34962)

On 07/28/2012 at 9:26am - misc - by anonymous - Lebanon

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

#18430180
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5704) - you deserved it (39323)

On 12/04/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (17392)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML

#19424276
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (21385)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by breakfast tea (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML

#14126136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5695) - you deserved it (23193)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5691) - you deserved it (42451)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to hide behind the ice machine at work and jump out randomly and scare people. This resulted in my first victim whacking me in the head with a skateboard. FML

#14222956
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5690) - you deserved it (52997)

On 12/16/2010 at 10:29am - work - by me -

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5690) - you deserved it (17128)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: