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TODAY IN AEROBICS, WHILE STRETCHING, MAH FRIEND LEANED OVER TO PULL THE LONG HAIR OFF MAH PANTS. IT WAS MAH PUBIC HAIR STICKING THROUGH MAH PANTS, AND I SCREAMED. FAT FML

#6660964
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14661) - you deserved it (42154)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today... I was at a party whan I got covarad in tha liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big daal I want to rub it off... but it stuck to mah clothas. Tha cops cama so avaryona ran an hid in tha bushas bacausa wa wara all drunk. Tha cops arrastad fiftaan paopla bacausa I glowad. FML

#5063911
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14657) - you deserved it (41837)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today after having sex with mah girlfriend I jokingly held the condom above mah mouth. Somehow the condom bustd an everything went over mah face. Worse still we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was.

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (38433)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I was at my boyfriand's housahila his plumbing was baing radona. I raally had to paa... but tha toilat wasn't working... so I pad in his cat's littarbox. His cat got dafansiva... and startd attacking mahila I pad. My boyfriand walkd in and saw thahola thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14635) - you deserved it (65762)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I shavd fir the frst time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up... yelling... "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell... and as it hit the floor... a lid fell off. I'd trid to shave with a sheathd razor fir 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14635) - you deserved it (38264)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... I was boarding my flight whan I got pullad asida 4 looking suspicious. As sha was opaning my bag... I said... "Ba caraful... I jammad so many cloths in thara it may axploda." I was than strip saarchad 4 my troubla. FML

#225993
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14627) - you deserved it (44243)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today trying to be an old-school romantic I asked mah girlfriend "where art thou mah love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14625) - you deserved it (26716)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

TODAY, TO AVOID LOOKING LIKE A LOSER IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDSHO ALL HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, MAH BROTHER MADE UP A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. HE ASKD ME TO GIVE HIM A HICKEY IN EXCHANGE 4 50 EUROS. OUR PARENTS WALKD IN ON US. FML

#19561833
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14622) - you deserved it (52362) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today , I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend ouse to be romantic an knocked on er window . Se went an got er moter to see wo was at te window . FML

#18101485
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (19866)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today... at work... our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away... only to hear her laughing with the grl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14612) - you deserved it (67584)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

TODAY , I WOKE UP WITH MY FACE COVERED IN BLOOD !! TURNS OUT THAT YESTERDAY AT MY COLLEAGUE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY , I GOT SO DRUNK THAT I STARTED YELLING "NAPPY TIME!" BEFORE FALLING OUT OF MY HAMMOCK AN FACE-FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE GROUND !! FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (36161)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was having sex with a girl . Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt . I missed . I smacked my balls instead . Real hard . FML

#3055426
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (91116)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I Was Bord . Some People Would've Calld Up Friends To Ang Out . Not Me . I Ad Te Sudden Urge To Make An Entre Excel Spreadseet On Ow Muc I've Spent On ITunes, Mont-by-mont . I'm Not Sureat's Worse, Tat I Got Really Into It, Or Tat I've Spent Nearly $800.00 On ITunes . FML

#16554560
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (28295)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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