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Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16519) - you deserved it (109469)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

#1168
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (2121)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by marlow - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16516) - you deserved it (8600)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (59802)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (28649)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

#3199012
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you deserved it (52499)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Noj12345 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw someone's hubcap blowing away behind me on the highway. I thought it was funny and sort of chuckled to myself. Later I realized it was my hubcap. FML

#21375160
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you deserved it (24704)

On 03/15/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by epicvixen - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

#5424247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16501) - you deserved it (33975)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16499) - you deserved it (25985)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you deserved it (15428)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16487) - you deserved it (27915)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML

#15111306
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you deserved it (29154)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:27am - money - by naughtytwinsisters (woman) - Philippines (Manila)



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