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Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

#20167730
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (1848)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:02am - work - by soldnone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (43029)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML

#21491253
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (1976)

On 11/11/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by burnbabyburn - United Kingdom

Today, before setting off on my train journey I checked my booking. The (non-refundable) return date was a week later than I intended, and after buying a new ticket online, I was informed that I would be able to collect it in 2 hours. I leave in an hour. I'll have to pay three times to come home. FML

#15225098
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (12288)

On 03/07/2011 at 12:38am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

#18741801
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (10281)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by scardeycat13 - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (4375)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (41059)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I respectfully asked my landlady if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet. He was robbed at gunpoint in his house last night. Landlady then yelled because we aren't married, and then showed up at my door at 10pm, "just making sure John isn't here". FML

#21484786
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (1756)

On 10/26/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by Leyla (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing my first shift waitressing in a café. Not an hour in, I'd already spilt tea over somebody and dropped two whole meals. Looks like this won't last much longer. FML

#21444635
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (4202)

On 07/20/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by failingyetagain - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (37281)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (8383)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (5478)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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