Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

#2065016
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13882) - you deserved it (39639)

On 05/18/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by lulabell (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (57134)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML

#4994498
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13878) - you deserved it (64526)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13877) - you deserved it (48286)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (57449)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

#18002643
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (19281)

On 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm - work - by Kate - United States

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13862) - you deserved it (49753)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

#1713155
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13859) - you deserved it (79338)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13857) - you deserved it (44522)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

#3884165
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13849) - you deserved it (51236)

On 07/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by nudie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13849) - you deserved it (39829)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (42888)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML

#21337906
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13845) - you deserved it (44415)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:15pm - misc - by whoops.. (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: