Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while singing "Happy Birthday", my boyfriend's mom said his ex's name instead of mine. Almost everyone at the party got it on video. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML
Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday. My mom and I proceeded to sing "Happy Birthday" to her. The first words that came out of her mouth were, "You guys are terrible singers." You're welcome, I guess. FML
Today, my ex-husband and the woman he left me for, also known as my sister, are getting married. On my birthday. My mom is gleefully helping plan the wedding. She seriously sees nothing wrong, and tells me to “stop being a Bitter Betty and be happy for your sister.” FML
Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML
Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML
Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
Why isn't it on your calendar app and set to remind you?
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Comments (1)
GoogieWithers 25
Why isn't it on your calendar app and set to remind you?