Today, I submitted my first app review. It was for Pocket Podiatrist:... - FML

By Tripartita - United States

Today, I submitted my first app review. It was for Pocket Podiatrist: the DIY Guide to Foot Surgery. 1/5 stars. Would not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

92

You deserved it

59

Tweet

Share

Messed up

Late term

Thanks, government

By katta2009 - United States

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36243

You deserved it

2571

Tweet

Share

By w-dog - Canada

Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60473

You deserved it

19772

Tweet

Share

By alyssac11 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30523

You deserved it

4250

Tweet

Share

By indecentcameraexposure - Canada

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8906

You deserved it

47891

Tweet

Share

By womanlover12345 - Spain

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

39564

You deserved it

8826

Tweet

Share

By farksh - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31088

You deserved it

6243

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45374

You deserved it

34899

Tweet

Share

By Username

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39971

You deserved it

4884

Tweet

Share

By meh

Today, at work, a guy tried to buy me for a dollar. I've only been there a week and it's the third time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9267

You deserved it

703

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, seconds after my mom put my yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30276

You deserved it

3570

Tweet

Share

By UhOh - United States

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11132

You deserved it

88710

Tweet

Share

By ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54681

You deserved it

7132

Tweet

Share

By unlucky - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I went to a party. After asking several people about the ingredients in a cake, I took one bite and ended up in the hospital with a severe reaction to the nuts that "definitely weren't" in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11377

You deserved it

904

Tweet

Share

By kittykat - United States

Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44531

You deserved it

8059

Tweet

Share

By carboncoach - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44704

You deserved it

3375

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I went on my first date in over a year, and my best friend popped up at the restaurant uninvited. To make it worse, she pulled up a chair right in between us and started an argument with the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1794

You deserved it

133

Tweet

Share

By Kelsie - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38509

You deserved it

4047

Tweet

Share

By Foxy - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70160

You deserved it

26765

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I met an old friend, who accidentally revealed he once met my wife in a club. They were both drunk and she let him have anal sex with her for a fiver in a club toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4248

You deserved it

327

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister-in-law told me calmly that she never cared for me, likes her brother's ex more than me, and probably will always dislike me. It was our first serious conversation ever, that I initiated because I wanted to "maintain our great friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29310

You deserved it

3070

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14448

You deserved it

49581

Tweet

Share

By dear god help me. - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49910

You deserved it

3462

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30783

You deserved it

2170

Tweet

Share

By nonmormon - United States

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

58965

You deserved it

4252

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Brunswick

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21920

You deserved it

2272

Tweet

Share

By ad4 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42081

You deserved it

4100

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31135

You deserved it

7863

Tweet

Share

By MySistersDogisStupid

Today, I took mine and my sister's dog for a walk in the park near my house. The dog managed to find a large piece of rotting, frozen meat buried in the snow and tried to eat it. I had to pry it from his mouth and can't get the smell out of my gloves and coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6752

You deserved it

773

Tweet

Share

By Badnewca - United States

Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42026

You deserved it

5188

Tweet

Share

By shaviTuT - Malaysia - Bandar Penggaram

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34329

You deserved it

2647

Tweet

Share

By bastardddd - United States

Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48336

You deserved it

6358

Tweet

Share

By bride - United States

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

133689

You deserved it

10249

Tweet

Share

By savanna - United States

Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34216

You deserved it

4576

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44707

You deserved it

7889

Tweet

Share

By muffdriver - United States

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26189

You deserved it

4182

Tweet

Share

By gmac0417 - United States

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29361

You deserved it

3145

Tweet

Share

By TankTankTank - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49568

You deserved it

3445

Tweet

Share

By stretchy - United States - Bethesda

Better safe

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

I agree, your life sucks

57483

You deserved it

9293

Tweet

Share

By Remy - United States - Portland

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53410

You deserved it

3075

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35551

You deserved it

2716

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Tripartita | 44

#6614563 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 17:00

Oh, what a fantastic photo FML! This caption was clearly conceived of by a genius who demands the highest accolades for their comic ingenuity!

By SeveralLake | 18

#6614480 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 14:41

Why the fuck

COMMENTS

By SeveralLake | 18

#6614480 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 14:41

Why the fuck

By jakewill7 | 7

#6614482 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 14:46

You might want to go to the doctor next time

By AustinDenton | 22

#6614485 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 14:53

That app just sounds like a bad idea

By Shadow9876 | 19

#6614532 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 16:25

I thought FML's had to be true.

By CamBen42 | 29

#6614546 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 16:36

I remember upvoting that comment, so glad it won. Congrats tripartita!

By Tripartita | 44

#6614563 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 17:00

Oh, what a fantastic photo FML! This caption was clearly conceived of by a genius who demands the highest accolades for their comic ingenuity!

Reply

stangbang92 | 17

#6614772 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 21:25

I sense sarcasm.

Reply

james_logan | 19

#6614791 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 21:53

#9, he captioned the photo

Reply

Zanquis | 22

#6615240 - Thursday 26 May 2016 11:36

I would recommend the: "Humor for Dummy's" App. It might safe us some pain.

If that fails I have some other app to try until we hit the 5 star ratings.

By MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6614616 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 17:56

Tripartita always comes up with the funniest things. I aspire to be that hilarious.

By DarkPrinceT | 3

#6614801 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 22:02

I'll admit, this one was pretty good. But still give us a dislike button like you have on all of the other FML's.

By rutuu92 | 14

#6615114 - Thursday 26 May 2016 6:59

tbh I've been disappointed with these. Can you at least change the "well spotted" to "your life sucks", because the whole well spotted thing is really killing the vibe. IMHO that change alone will make it better.

By rutuu92 | 14

#6615116 - Thursday 26 May 2016 7:01

Oh, and like the other guy said, a dislike button would be useful for constructive criticism.