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The all-time greatest FMLs

You've pulled

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some fun at around 3:00 am and during our fun I flipped her over quite roughly and, as she landed on the bed, I'd accidentally dislocated her shoulder. For the next 2 hours we didn’t know whether to call an ambulance or her sister, so we had to put it back in place ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 398

Self-sabotage

By ToxicSelf - 05/06/2025 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I'm ruining my own life by being incredibly lazy at my new job. It scares me, as my family is dependent on my income, and I love this job too. Why am I always on self-destruct mode? I really want to snap out of it and be hardworking like so many others I know (including my husband). FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 468

RSVP classic

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 23:00

Today, despite checking, double-checking, and triple-checking before we sent them to every member of our friends and family, some who live in foreign countries, our wedding invitations somehow had not one, but two spelling mistakes. They misspelled my surname and the address of the church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 495

What was your endgame?

By Travis32 - 11/06/2022 12:00

Today, I’ve been faking an Italian accent and said my name was Alessandro to impress a girl I was seeing. My plan was going well, until on a date at the mall, I heard, “Travis, what are you doing? Why are you talking like that?” It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 2 198

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 18:00

Today, I avoided planning an event for three years. I was saved by COVID in 2021, and 2020. It's now supposed to be happening next week, and I haven’t done anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 1 361

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 14/05/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom - Canterbury

Today, I was on a bus with my friend's older brother. He was kinda cute. I went to message my best friend, telling her how cute this guy was, how he was kinda packing downstairs, and how adorable he was. Two minutes later, he wordlessly turned his phone screen to me. It was the message. I sent it to him by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 1 207

Crotch rot

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 00:01 - United States

Today, I discovered that baking soda is not the same as Gold Bond powder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 1 135

Anon struggles

By Anonymous - 20/04/2023 15:00

Today, I realized I shouldn't have confessed anonymously to my long time crush through an anonymous account. I was so happy that they noticed me a little and made posts that seems directed to me, but then they just stopped. I'm so sad and craving their attention that I'm getting upset when I shouldn't be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 928

Keep on trucking

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 16:00 - Romania

Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 639

PSA

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 21:02 - United States - Tampa

Today, I just spent 3 hours at work reading FML posts and giggling at my desk. For the blurred out posts, I was moving my desk chair back to read what they said while squinting. I just realized I can hover the mouse and it will be clear and not blurry anymore. Now I have a headache and got in trouble with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 612

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 22:00

Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 867

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 691

Reverse Uno prank

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my best friend, who I hadn’t seen since last year, picked me up and we got to talking about our memories together. I brought up the time we both cheated on our girlfriends at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert. Little did I know his girlfriend was waiting in the back of the car to scare me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 927

Not even once

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 08:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I got addicted to online slots, racked up nearly €30,000 in debt, and completely ruined my financial future. It’s been almost a year since I stopped gambling, but the shame and the debt are still crushing me. I’m trying to get back on my feet and even created a fundraiser just to breathe a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 613

Life choices

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 465

Run for your life

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, at work, we had a fire drill. I was the first to run out of the building, but in my haste, I tripped on the stairs, and rolled down the flight. When I got to the bottom, I tried to stand up, but my ankle was already swelling. What felt like the entire office watched as I limped to the designated meeting point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 438

First world problems

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my Brita filter for my pitcher needs a replacement. This wouldn't be even remotely that big of a deal, except this month I also ran out on a few other necessities that weren't exactly what one would call cheap. I'm trying to both save money but also learn more healthy habits (like drinking more water). FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 258

Let 'em loose

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 411

Dishes, now!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 06:00 - Netherlands

Today, I went out to eat with a friend. I was supposed to be paying, but when I tried to, there wasn't enough money in my bank account. She didn't have money with her either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 734

Ventilation

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 18:00 - United States - Victorville

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to the smell of something burning. My husband and I checked the house, and I was convinced there was possibly an electric fire. Went back to bed, then when I woke again I remembered I'd straightened my hair the day before and that’s what the burnt smell was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 744

Cat fight

By Mishka - 03/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 438

Easy on the Chardonnay

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to say, “You both look beautiful together.” Instead, nerves took over, and I blurted out, “You both look beautiful naked.” In front of 100 people. And a priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 387

Workout

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, my fitness tracker congratulated me on reaching 10,000 steps. Feeling slightly proud of myself for sticking to my health goals, I went to bed early, only to find out it was counting the steps I took pacing around, trying to find my lost keys for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 301

Wake up Boo

By Anon - 03/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I set an elaborate alarm system to wake up early. I woke up to the soothing sounds of birds chirping, only to discover that I had accidentally set my ringtone to bird noises instead of an actual alarm. I missed my morning meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 556

Nice try

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 21:00 - Philippines

Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 494

Work it

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 453

Singed

By Bernice - 26/01/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was showing my grandson how to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. I got a little too close and set my hair on fire. The candles remained lit but my grandson was too terrified to go near them after the whole ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 403

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 488

Slipped my mind

By PaulineB - 12/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 400

Where would we be without GPS?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 15:00

Today, my stupid satnav led me straight onto someone’s private land and I couldn’t get out again because the private land was a working farm, and while I was turning round they dumped 10 tonnes of cow shit in the courtyard, and I couldn’t get round it until they shifted it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 379

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The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 322

You deserved it 4 583

Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 874

You deserved it 1 748

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 197

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 034

You deserved it 3 226

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 946

You deserved it 10 178

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 272

You deserved it 1 483