By Anonymous - Canada - Montreal Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML I agree, your life sucks 41177 You deserved it 4578 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML I agree, your life sucks 44424 You deserved it 5487 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MadSon - United States Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 51883 You deserved it 4085 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kel - United States Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML I agree, your life sucks 24602 You deserved it 4834 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/4/2020 20:00 Smooth Today, I turned 30. I still can't grow any facial hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 1433 You deserved it 210 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By :( - United States Today, my mom told me that I'll never get married if my cooking skills don't improve. My boyfriend agrees. FML I agree, your life sucks 15614 You deserved it 2434 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By raz - United States - Fargo Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML I agree, your life sucks 27420 You deserved it 2616 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Afghanistan - Kabul Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML I agree, your life sucks 23704 You deserved it 48364 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eeh - United States Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML I agree, your life sucks 30577 You deserved it 103227 254 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ah hell - United States Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML I agree, your life sucks 11823 You deserved it 52361 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/6/2020 17:00 Last dates Today, a guy I've been dating for a year asked me to meet him for dinner and a couple of drinks. After dinner, he confessed that he's been seeing another woman and has decided he wants to seek a relationship with her. He then told me how sex with me is great, but he didn't want me to continue being "the other woman." FML I agree, your life sucks 1912 You deserved it 203 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 1302 You deserved it 469 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Marcos Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML I agree, your life sucks 30443 You deserved it 4442 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eddie818 - Canada - Sidney Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 30125 You deserved it 3213 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aishahahaha_ - Zambia - Lusaka Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 14680 You deserved it 753 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML I agree, your life sucks 62996 You deserved it 10917 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CathyM - United States Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML I agree, your life sucks 25804 You deserved it 2780 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Forgotten Birthday Girl Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 4844 You deserved it 263 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By madiison09 - United States Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML I agree, your life sucks 65111 You deserved it 6493 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML I agree, your life sucks 25737 You deserved it 12605 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Failsafe - United States - Newark Today, I worked up the courage to ask out the girl I liked. I got her a nice bracelet for her birthday and asked her on a date when I gave it to her. "Aww, you're so sweet!" was the response to the gift. Her response to the date proposal? "Wait, you aren't gay?" FML I agree, your life sucks 15534 You deserved it 1425 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By australian6196 - Australia - Sydney Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML I agree, your life sucks 49665 You deserved it 7444 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chuchundra - United States Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML I agree, your life sucks 43610 You deserved it 7916 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Annie - United States Waste Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML I agree, your life sucks 36603 You deserved it 5238 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ifyouseekmylife - United States Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML I agree, your life sucks 32480 You deserved it 5605 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "baow" Today, I met this girl on a party and things were going really well. We ended up getting it on in my room and I was about to do my thing after confidently have had bragging the whole night that I was the inspiration of the 50 shades of Grey series. Well guess who got a whiskey dick. FML I agree, your life sucks 658 You deserved it 3491 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonyme - France - Ivry-sur-seine Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML I agree, your life sucks 25063 You deserved it 35782 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chrono64 - United States Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML I agree, your life sucks 28333 You deserved it 3327 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SplashOuch - United States Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML I agree, your life sucks 28857 You deserved it 7073 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cc - United States Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML I agree, your life sucks 40775 You deserved it 6443 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Amy - United States Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML I agree, your life sucks 44838 You deserved it 5956 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cocacola999 - United Kingdom Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML I agree, your life sucks 41632 You deserved it 7739 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By why me Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML I agree, your life sucks 4214 You deserved it 273 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By the2girls - Canada Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML I agree, your life sucks 55949 You deserved it 5188 261 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yeueid - Estonia Today, I found out that whenever I text my boyfriend something cute, he texts his friends and asks what to say in his reply. Basically, I've been talking to his friends all the time. FML I agree, your life sucks 19413 You deserved it 1720 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Washington Today, while using the restroom at my favorite cafe, I fell asleep for 30 minutes. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons viciously breaking down the only barrier between between you and your shame. FML I agree, your life sucks 5162 You deserved it 2398 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sonakshi - 11/9/2020 13:03 - United Kingdom - Cambridge Detained Today, I forgot to bring a letter to my secondary school, so I went to detention. I told them it got lost, but it's only when my parents phoned and told them the same thing that they believed it. So I got detention for nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1109 You deserved it 191 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 48072 You deserved it 5507 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Forever alone Guy - Australia - Narre Warren Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML I agree, your life sucks 31048 You deserved it 3809 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heart-broken - Australia Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML I agree, your life sucks 74723 You deserved it 8674 276 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 105 6 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 45 7 Comments