Money, Health, Accident, Painful and Surgery: Doofus move - FML

Doofus move

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 18:00

Today, I dislocated my big toe doing a stupid stunt to impress a woman, who turned out to be married anyway. The toe won’t go back in, so the doctor thinks it might need a surgical fix. I don’t have insurance so this is going to be fucking expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 474

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Right in the feetsies

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 00:30

Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 976

Incapacitated

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 172

By billy - 31/03/2015 10:54 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 5 383

By ice_dancer_jake - 20/06/2019 02:28

Today, after spending the day at work avoiding all hard manual tasks that may harm me, I had a table dropped on my foot. I broke my toe, split my nail and had to get a tetanus shot. I was avoiding injury as I was supposed to be performing in a figure skating exhibition this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 217

The tape

By floff - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I broke a toe. It was not too bad and I can still walk, but the doctors had to tape it to the next toe to help it heal. Turns out I am allergic to the glue on the tape. The pain of the blisters covering two toes and the itch is worst than the break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 879

You deserved it 296

This guy is a GENIUS

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 20:02

Today, in a bid to avoid going to the dentist, my husband decided to have one of his drunk buddies pull his tooth out with pliers. Now he has to have surgery to remove the shards of tooth left rotting in his mouth. It’s going to cost thousands. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 225

Couch fights!

By Butters - 24/09/2022 16:00 - Australia - Lathlain

Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 124

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 6 414

STOOOOP

By Patoose - 16/08/2016 20:54 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had surgery done to fix an ingrown toenail. When the doctor started cutting the nail, my toe wasn't entirely numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 906

You deserved it 1 435

Nine inch nails

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 02:00

Today, mere hours after getting my knee out of plaster and walking normally again, I stepped on a giant nail, which went through my shoe and came out of the top of my foot. Surgery on the splintered bone, bandages, and no putting weight on it for at least 2 weeks. Here I go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 159

Next

Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 10 April 2022 13:45

Pain is the great teacher. So is bankruptcy.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 9 April 2022 18:28

You ought to make her aware of your predicament. You can reasonably expect to get a sympathy ******* out of that. That's what they say.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 10 April 2022 13:45

Pain is the great teacher. So is bankruptcy.

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The Top

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 527

You deserved it 2 628

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 441

You deserved it 10 101

The Top

Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 168

You deserved it 30 343

Today, out of the blue, my husband suggested to his parents that they move to our town for the next six months, with the understanding that we’d see them nearly every day. I found out about this when they starting making plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 168

Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the liposuction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 765

You deserved it 5 784

Today, my son brought home a fawn, saying it’s his new pet. I objected and told him to put it back in the woods, because the mom deer must be worried. He threw a tantrum, told me to stop getting in the way of their "bond” and stormed off to his room with it. He’s 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 267

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 646

You deserved it 2 693

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I'd just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 214

You deserved it 85 962