By Anonymous - 29/05/2016 15:15 - Denmark
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Just a word of advice OP, don't stop buying pads all together. You should be wearing pads to sleep because tampons can give TSS if worn for too long. Change every 6 hours (or when the tampon fills) even if the tampon isnt full. I know this is common knowledge, but I just want to make sure you know because no one deserves TSS. My mom had it and it was hell for her.
Actually I've read anybody, even biological males, can get TSS ; wearing a tampon for too long merely doubles the chance of getting it... Crazy stuff. Also, I'd advise anyone with a period to look into menstrual cups ! They can really change your life, and at least a little research doesn't hurt (and apparently the risk of TSS is lower than with a tampon but that's not quite established yet)
Did you lose the instructions with diagrams that come with every single box? Or did you not check the box to realize it comes with instructions? Considering it's 2 steps, I doubt you could've misunderstood them if you had them.
For a first timer it's still hard. I read the directions on my box multiple times and still needed the help of my mother. If you've never done it it's hard to know your body (and it's also painful). Most girls need assistance before they get the hang of it. It's not uncommon. OP was very lucky to have an SO that cares for her and her health so well. You should be more understanding.
I'd understand if it were someone super comfortable with their body that they would rather just be shown, but considering OP thought having her bf help was bad enough to write an FML about it, I doubt that's the case. I understand it can be uncomfortable. I've been using tampons for about 10 years & it still hurts to put in sometimes. I understand it can take a minute to find the right spot for the first time & people mess up sometimes & don't put it in far enough, but those are both very straightforward to fix. If you don't put it in far enough, you can use your hand to push it in farther (I am aware that can hurt) or you can try again with another. FYI I had never even seen a tampon in person before I first tried to use one, & the directions were more than enough. No google, no asking others, got it on the first try. So sorry but no, I can't fathom someone not being able to figure it out themselves.
My instructions that came in the tampon box basically just said shove that shit in your vagina. It didn't tell you how to stick it in or what level of discomfort was normal or even that discomfort was to be expected. I had to ask my gynecologist what was normal and what wasn't.
#68 Really? How odd. I've bought probably 4 different brands, & they all say insert it into your vagina until the outer tube is just outside your body, push the outer tube in, remove applicator. With basically the same accompanying diagrams. Maybe California just has better inserts.
#75 No that isn't exactly what I'm saying. I don't expect everyone to get it on their first try. However, as everyone has pointed out, there's only 2 ways you can mess up. Other than being surprised by pain & thinking you've messed up when you haven't, but that only requires a Google search or asking someone who uses tampons if that's normal, not asking someone else to do it for them. I meant that if OP was so embarrassed about asking her bf to show her that it was FML worthy, she could have taken a few tries to figure it out herself. I doubt OP doesn't know how to find the opening to her vagina considering her bf was the one to show her, & as I said earlier, not sticking it in far enough is really quick & easy to fix. Sorry if you can't figure it out, but I honestly thought it was common sense. Apparently I was wrong.
But Zeffra, if you have no earthly idea how to use a tampon most young girls are going to assume that pain is normal and just keep going with it. There are so many tips and tricks with these things that there are way more ways you can use them improperly. I didn't know how far in to insert the thing in. I didn't know that lube was something that might make sliding them in easier. I was unaware that if the tampon wasn't full it would be more painful to remove. No one in my family uses tampons. That's not an exaggeration literally no uses them. And when I was a ten year old girl starting her period none of my friends had started. I started my period before my older sisters so I went directly to someone who I knew would have the resources to tell me what was up. Not every girl automatically gets a gynecologist when they start their periods. My first gynecologist was incredible and explained everything she knew about how to make using tampons easier. She also emphasized that using what made you most comfortable was more important than anything else. She also hosted a sleepover for young girls in the community that taught about safe sex, menstruation, and different tips for black girls. It's where I learned the term Bantu knots for the little knots my gram put on my head.
#90 I'm really glad you had a good experience learning how to use tampons at a young age & had someone to ask. Nobody expects kids to know how periods or tampons work. Thing is, that's not the situation I was talking about AT ALL. OP is clearly not a kid getting her first periods. I also was not talking about tricks that make using tampons easier or more comfortable, only the process of figuring out how to get a tampon inside you so it functions.
What do you think those tips and tricks listed were for? How to make origami? Lube slicks things up so tube encase in plastic can be shoved inside of you. Knowing how to get the thing far enough inside of you is part of making sure it works correctly. How are you supposed to know this shit if you've never had cause to use it? Why are you putting a random point on when it's acceptable to not know about tampons and ask questions or ask for help. There's this culture of ignorance about bodies that people keep trying to push whether they realize it or not. And it applies to both men and women in regards to their sexual and reproductive health. Good on OP for admitting they needed help and good on the boyfriend for helping her out.
I was simply not talking about the tips because they are beside the point. The point is not that OP couldn't easily/comfortably get a tampon in her vagina, but that she couldn't do it at all. The point is also OP thinks having to ask her bf for help is so bad she wrote an FML about it, so why didn't she ask someone to explain it or google it? First result on Google is a wikihow that's incredibly detailed with many explanatory diagrams. I never said people shouldn't ask for help. The "when to know about tampons" is more of a "when you learn about your own body parts" which has nothing to do with physical age, only experience/education. I assume OP has this experience given her relationship. I was surprised anyone who's been in a physical relationship could be so confused they absolutely had to be physically shown despite other options to figure it out.
You know that people can have sex without realizing what everything is? And you're assuming a whole lot of things about this person and her sexual relationship based on one tiny FML. Her education about her body might not have included tampons or where they go. In the U.S. sex education is terrible and human anatomy was only offered (in my school) of you had a certain GPA in all of your other classes and had a certain ACT score in the science portion. So your entire issue is how she asked for help?
I've heard that using lube the first few times can help! And that the "athletic" kind are more comfortable than the regular kind. Good luck!
My mother passed away when I was a baby, and so when I made the switch it was super awkward and as a virgin, more than a little scary. The breaking point for me was yet another vacation where I couldn't swim because I had my period. I wish my fiancé had some tampon knowledge he could have passed on to me, it would have made my life a lot less panicky and my privates a lot less sore. My advice to OP is to avoid the same mistake I made- only use tampons when your flow is steady. I used one on the last day of my period and it didn't absorb nearly enough and it was really hard and painful to remove. It needs something to absorb in order to come out easily. I panicked the first time because I couldn't get it out after only an hour and it was a nightmare to remove. Try to relax and don't over-think it.