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The all-time greatest FMLs

You know what they say…

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 22:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, after being horribly treated and dumped by five men over a span of six years, I have finally come to the conclusion that I must be the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 235

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 517

It's a sign

By Anonymous - 08/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of psyching myself up, I finally asked my crush to go out for coffee. She smiled and said yes. Feeling on top of the world, I turned to leave, walked straight into an opening glass door, and gave myself a nosebleed before the date had even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 106

Brat

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 03:00

Today, my bratty stepdaughter ruins every picture possible by flipping off the camera. She either does it outright or slyly to the side. We recently paid hundreds of dollars for a professional family photoshoot and had to pay extra to Photoshop out her finger. He won’t discipline her at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 141

Protip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 03:00

Today, my boyfriend scratched his balls then rubbed his finger under my nose, all so he could grab the TV remote and change the channel while I ran to the sink retching FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 116

You're not supposed to eat it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I used sunscreen on my face. Said sunscreen was expired and I had an allergic reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 129

Health kick

By What am I supposed to do? - 01/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 170

Such a rush

By Later! - 16/12/2025 20:00

Today, I woke up late and rushed to catch the bus. I sprinted heroically, slipped on wet pavement, and skidded directly into a puddle deep enough to baptize me. The driver waited just long enough to make eye contact before closing the doors and leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 79

Not technically front row, then

By Jenny - 09/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 91

Never gonna happen

By Fuck the rich - 23/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my dad explained to me that it's actually a "good thing" that we have a trillionaire in America now, because he builds rockets, and those are cool or something. WEALTH. TAX. NOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 280

You're in the army now

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 12:00

Today, my officer took us on a night navigation exercise. Naturally, I and my fellow soldiers followed him. After many wrong turns, we climbed over barbed wire into a cow field. Our illustrious leader was startled by a cow, then became intimately entangled in the wire. As medic it was my duty to apply bandages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 103

Chance encounter

By Never chosen - 27/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I ran into a guy I knew from 3 years ago. He just moved here from out of state and is planning to stay forever. This is the same guy who dated me long distance and dumped me after a while because he “couldn’t handle long distance.” He just got engaged to a girl who lives here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 112

The ole answer/forward conundrum

By Master's_degree_in_failure - 17/10/2020 22:30

Today, I "answered" an email instead of "forwarding" it. As a result, there is a chance that my Master's thesis supervisor gets a message from me starting by the F-word, and complaining about my bad work and inability to understand a deadline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 1 137

Summer lovin'

By I wish I was making this up - 15/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out my cat and my roommate's dog are apparently lesbians who are into what is basically bestiality to us humans. Despite both being female (and fixed), his dog tried to hump my cat, and my cat didn't resist at all. Trying to get his dog off my cat took way more effort than it should have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 120

Body issues

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 09:00 - South Africa - Brakpan

Today, while I'm in the depths of postpartum blues and insecurities, my grandmother in-law gifted me a size 22 pair of jeans that does not fit her. I'm a size 12. I started crying and fake choked so that nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 86

Check these out!

By Imdeadalready - 11/07/2023 00:02 - United States - Portage

Spicy

Today, I meant to send a nice picture of the flowers my boyfriend got me set up in a vase on my nightstand. Turns out I sent it to his mom. My vibrator was in the shot. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 967

My little boy is all grown up

By Jax - 26/02/2026 22:00

Spicy

Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 58

Adulting

By Laurenb - 06/07/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was teaching a class when a kid asked me why grown-ups needed to drink coffee. Before I could answer, another kid chimed in, "Because adults are boring and tired all the time." I laughed and said that sometimes adults need a little extra energy. One kid raised his hand to ask, "Is that why you're so grumpy every morning?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 220

You're next

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Alnwick

Today, a woman who badly needed to change her incontinence pad sat next to me on the bus. I could smell it through my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 76

Which one?

By Anonymous - 05/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 103

Modern anxieties

By Cam - 26/10/2022 06:00

Today, one of my best friends got over 6k followers on Instagram in less than 2 months. I've had my account almost two years and can't get over 500. I'm the one that taught her all the "cheats" to get into the algorithm. They worked for her but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 917

Strange system

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 09:00 - Sweden - Gothenburg

Today, I was expecting a big sum of money for skipping last year's vacation while working as a freelancer, as I've done the last four years. Turns out I won't get the money, as last month I accepted a full time employment, and now that money has been turned into vacation days instead. Guess I won't buy a new home yet… FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 138

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 040

By secretninja64 - 21/08/2014 03:47 - United States - Saint Francis

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 33

secretninja64 tells us more.

secretninja64 19

Thursday 21 August 2014 19:45

Hey guys, OP here. Thank you to all of those who are telling me that I can do better and that they don't need me. The job was at Taco Johns so I wasn't all too devastated to be fired. I would have liked them to tell me the real reason they fired me or come to me and tell me what I was doing wrong so I could have a chance to fix it before they fired me but sadly they were not mature enough to do that. The main manager at the store really didn't like me for some reason unknown to me so I'm guessing that's why she fired me. Unfortunately I do live in a state where they do not need a reason to fire someone. Needless to say I will be finding another job. Who knows, maybe I'll go work at Taco Bell, haha. Thanks again.

Setup

By Lenore - 03/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. My husband said we should “adapt, not panic” and brought lubricant from the garage. It had a skull warning on it. Apparently I married an engineer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 90

Be honest

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 02:00

Today, I've been dating a girl for about a year. After about 5 months, her mom kicked her out so I had her move in with me. She’s super sweet and nice, but we aren’t intellectually compatible, and have wildly different interests. My best friend is everything she isn’t. I'm starting to crush on my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 029

Looney tunes

By It does grow on trees - 21/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I spotted a $20 bill on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, the wind blew it away. I ended up running after it like a cartoon character, only to watch it get stuck up a tree. I did consider climbing up said tree, but with my luck I would've fallen off and had to pay 100 times more in hospital bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 122

In the mood

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to break a recent dry spell brought on my sickness, stress, and a death in the family. She asked me for sex, but I’m too stressed out even to consider it. Looks like the dry spell is extended indefinitely and it’s all my fault. I’m a shitty boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 451

You little devil

By Awakened - 07/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 196

Planned parenthood

By NPRM - 03/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband and I got into yet another fight because he wants a second kid and I don't. One kid is enough for any family but he won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 317

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Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 296

You deserved it 7 703

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 673

You deserved it 54 227

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 3 379

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 567

Today, my mom caught me absentmindedly staring at my puppy's butthole. She'd also been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 013

Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 146