App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    Road rage

    Anonymous - 26/04/2021 20:00

    Today, I was brake-checking a Dodge Charger who was attempting to run me off. It was an undercover police car. FML
    327
    1 721
      

    Dogs for Christmas

    Dog dad - 26/12/2024 12:00 - United States

    Today, I bought my dog an expensive plushie toy because I thought it would last longer than the cheap ones. He ignored it completely and spent two hours playing with the cardboard box it came in. FML
    327
    206
      

    Ruins

    Willa - 22/01/2025 14:00 - United States

    Today, my friend told me she managed to have sex with the guy who told me he didn’t wanna date me, or even become friends with benefits, because it would “ruin our friendship.” They’ve been friends for about two years. Apparently, her friendship with him is worth “ruining.” FML
    327
    173
      

    Haste

    JulieFromMars - 15/08/2024 09:00 - Ireland - Galway

    Today, I was running late for work and I was carrying my stuff to my car, handbag over my shoulder, laptop in one hand, and my coffee in the other. As I tried to unlock my car, I spilt the coffee all over myself, the car, and my laptop. Now, I’m sticky, wet, and my laptop won't turn on. FML
    327
    270
      

    Controlling

    Anonymous - 01/11/2023 18:02 - United States

    Today, my boyfriend told me that the ring I wear on my ring finger needs to come off because it's too big. It's too big because I bought it for him and he gave it back to me 6 months later. I've been wearing it on the same finger for the last 3 months with no problems. FML
    326
    100
      

    Just be yourself

    iQuit - 27/08/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I decided to quit dating. I'm a plus-sized girl and I can’t get a guy to save my life. On dating apps they run for the hills when they see my full body. I even tried dating plus-size guys and even they have standards. I fucking hate society’s “ideal” beauty norms. FML
    326
    541
      

    Cycles

    Anonymous - 12/11/2023 04:00 - Germany

    Today, I hate sleeping late because then the day will be over like 9 hours after I get up. Turns out, though, if I get up real early, it’s me who'll be over after about 9 hours. FML
    326
    147
      

    Start 'em young

    Anonymous - 03/10/2021 23:00

    Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML
    326
    1 579
      

    Kinda sus

    TheCarl - 02/12/2025 15:00

    Today, Amazon delivered an item I need urgently for air travel later in the day. To the wrong address. From the photo, I could see which house they had delivered it to. They weren't home, but a camera was pointing at the item. My behaviour was indistinguishable from that of a porch pirate. FML
    326
    69
      

    Speeding

    Anonymous - 28/02/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, after I started to use a weight tracker to keep track of how much weight I lost since I started to diet due to my horrific cholesterol levels, I was happy that I lost three and a half pounds in three days. However, my online weight tracker then gave me a warning that I'm losing weight too quickly. That's a thing? FML
    326
    113
      

    Worn out work out

    Anonymous - 29/07/2024 09:00 - Germany

    Today, I have to admit to being extremely conservative. As in: Literally. My body is so hell-bent on conserving energy that, after a sweaty workout, it tells me, “That is quite enough, young lady. There will be no more heating of non-vital body parts for the rest of the day.” FML
    326
    127
      

    A tale as old as… well, 2007?

    Melody - 09/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Los Angeles

    Today, I got my phone fixed after the screen had been shattered for four months straight. Then, the moment they handed it to me, it fell straight to the floor and shattered. Again. FML
    326
    260
      

    Customer relationships

    UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

    Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
    326
    1 628
      

    Creepy dude

    Dave - 21/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Las Vegas

    Today, a guy in a store parking lot started yelling at me, asking if I was famous. I laughed and said, "No, I’m just a regular person." He then asked for an autograph. Not wanting to argue with crazy, I signed a note and handed it to him. He walked off, looking at the note with confusion and visibly mounting anger. I'd signed the first thing I could think of: “For my biggest fan! Sincerely, Whoopi Goldberg.” FML
    326
    159
      

    Jealousy is a hell of a drug

    SmhBetches - 11/08/2023 00:02

    Today, my “best friend” threw me under the bus and got me fired from my job, possibly getting charges pressed against me. She told on me for sweethearting (ringing up one item when she'd bought multiple items) her, all because I’m dating a guy she likes. She didn’t even tell me she liked him. FML
    326
    1 125
      

    Main character syndrome

    Ross - 21/05/2025 00:00 - Slovakia - Bratislava

    Today, my friend told me to move on from having feelings for her, despite me accepting that we were only friends several months ago. FML
    326
    161
      

    Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?

    poopface82 - 06/08/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML
    326
    133
      

    New year, new me?

    Anonymous - 31/12/2024 09:00 - France

    Today, my phone's OS suggested I reflect on the year gone by. I started by scrolling through my photos and realized most of them were just pictures of my cat or screenshots of memes. I should get out more in 2025. FML
    326
    181
      

    Shook

    Spooked - 18/03/2024 18:00 - United States

    Today, for the first time in my 20 years of life, I heard my dad unironically say the f-word. I was so shocked by it that I became became practically frozen for a full minute, which is not a very good thing to happen when you're at work, and your boss is watching you. FML
    325
    221
      

    Parking lot chaos

    Clumsy - 03/10/2025 03:00

    Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML
    325
    91
      

    Emotional journey

    sad and embarrassed guy - 21/09/2024 13:00 - United States

    Today, my love life is so godawful that I started ugly-crying when the song "Love Hurts" began playing on the radio while I was driving. I had to pull over. Several people passing by stopped to see if I needed help. FML
    325
    186
      

    Good start

    Anonymous - 27/03/2025 15:00 - Belgium - Brussels

    Today, our new co-worker started her job as member of our customer service team. It took some time to find someone good, so we were very happy to have her. After a few hours of explanation, it was time for her to log into her account with her work e-mail. Then she asked how our company name was written. FML
    325
    117
      

    Good enough

    Loves me not. - 23/01/2022 05:01

    Today, I realized that there are only two things that make me stay with my current girlfriend: the sex and her Nintendo Switch. FML
    325
    1 591
      

    Introvert life

    Anxious - 25/03/2024 08:00 - United States

    Today, my social anxiety is so bad that I can't even have a normal conversation with an AI. FML
    325
    243
      

    Blast from the past

    Anonymous - 29/06/2025 06:00 - United States

    Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML
    325
    95
      

    EXPLAIN YOURSELF

    Anonymous - 11/09/2025 03:00

    Today, I was summoned by the big boss and I was bricking myself waiting in his waiting room, wondering what job he wanted me to do, or if I’m getting fired. Turns out he heard I watch a lot of anime and wanted me to teach him about it so he can talk to his teenage daughter about her interests. FML
    325
    82
      

    Van life

    Nomad - 28/02/2023 10:00

    Today, and recently, I’ve been really big into van life and traveling. Until now, I thought my wife was onboard. After a long talk about how difficult it would be, she’s decided that she’d rather live paycheck to paycheck, instead of travel for super cheap and save money. On top of that, rent is going up in a few months. FML
    325
    795
      

    The walls have ears

    Anonymous - 20/01/2023 12:00

    Today, while I was at the doctor's looking nasty and sick, I ran into my ex. He was my first boyfriend and he cheated on me the whole time, and then left me. I went into a room with my friend while we were waiting and told her EVERYTHING about him. Turns out everyone heard me, INCLUDING HIM. Now I have to see him tomorrow. FML
    325
    937
      

    Appalling behavior

    he didnt know - 02/03/2025 11:00 - United States - San Diego

    Today, I showed my best friend a picture of my new girlfriend. He gave me a high five, followed up with, "Looks like we're Eskimo bros!" FML
    325
    132
      

    Tough love

    OfficeHusband - 09/03/2023 03:00

    Today, during the party for my last day at my old job, my office wife professed her love for me. We’re both married, we have no chemistry, and I’ve been dumping my work on her for three years. FML
    325
    1 100
      
    • 1908
    • 1909
    • 1910
    • 1911
    • 1912
    • 1913
    • 1914
    • 1915
    • 1916
    • 1917

    Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I found out I have herpes. I'm 9 months pregnant and have only been with my husband. It just so happens that our roommate just got over herpes. I thought they were just spending time together, bonding. FML
    2 326
    285
    Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
    7 855
    81 013
    Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
    62 718
    4 397
    Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
    34 892
    12 881
    Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
    24 043
    4 744
    Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML
    184
    342

    © VDM SAS,

    ​