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The all-time greatest FMLs

Time to chime in

By Women don't owe men shit - 23/04/2026 09:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I heard my husband giving my son the talk about girls. He said, "You want three main things from women: peace, sex, and kids. If they can't give you those, they aren't worth your time." What an asshole I married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 321

Short Queen

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my 36th birthday. My boyfriend and I celebrated with a big group of our friends, our families, and their kids. Everyone there was taller than me, including my friend's 10 year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 118

Busted up

By KittyT - 27/07/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I learnt my health is so messed up that a private clinic gave me my money back out of sympathy because they couldn't do a procedure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 87

Zero stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got to sit down for dinner after a long day. In a truck stop restaurant, which specializes in "We don’t have that" or "Serve yourself, despite this being a sit down restaurant." The good news is that they charge more than fast food for less service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 99

Handle with care

By Bad day to be my toes - 08/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 192

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 107

Red flag

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and ever since we started trying for a baby, my husband initiates sex a lot less often than he used to, and has even started suffering from erectile dysfunction on occasion. Call me crazy, but I’m starting to suspect he doesn’t want a baby after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 165

Just out of curiosity, where is this place exactly?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 123

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 14:00 - Philippines - Bacoor

Today, I don't know what to do. I like my BFF, and I really don't know what to do. I want to confess my feelings for her, but I don't think she will like me back because we're only supposed to be friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 193

Simply having a wonderful Xmas time!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 09:00

Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 131

I'm proud to be selfish

By Anonymous - 14/08/2022 18:00

Today, my wife picked an argument about me so-called being selfish because I buy myself sweets and certain drinks, and they make sit in the refrigerator for a long time. My stepson will then ask for them, and I say no. I just don’t believe in rewarding bad behavior. Plus it’s mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 216

Unhinged

By Marcus - 02/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, the girl who said we were “just friends” had a meltdown when I told her I went on a date with a girl I met on Hinge. She literally told me two months ago after me giving her the shirt off my back and being her emotional support anchor for nearly four years that we were “just friends.” So what’s the deal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 53

Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 114

Looking the part

By Steampunk Woes - 29/04/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I did a themed circus performance, then went out to small club afterwards, still in my outfit. Three people asked me to join them and chat. Apparently they thought I was ''a strung out prostitute on ketamine'' and ''didn't want anything bad to happen to (me)''. I guess I looked like a Victorian-era hooker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 207

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was supposed to have my last interview for my dream job at a tech firm in Dubai. Instead, I spent my last few days in Dubai in hospital and now I am back in Denmark, on heavy antibiotics and painkillers, and two weeks sick leave away from a job I hate already. Then there's also a huge hospital bill to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 81

Such a Capricorn

By Don't care at all - 20/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a dinner party, someone brought up astrology and I casually said I don’t really believe in it. One guest immediately accused me of being “emotionally closed-minded” while another started defending me like we were in a courtroom drama. I just wanted more soy sauce, not ideological warfare over moon signs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 73

ISP woes

By Fuck my internet company - 07/10/2025 12:00

Today, after two weeks with no internet, we had a technician repair our service at our apartment. An hour later, one of my neighbors at the same complex yelled at us because the same technician disconnected her service by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 72

Catfishing for fun

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 141

Stop pointing out my shortcomings

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 12:00

Today, of all the things I have to be self-conscious about (my looks, my weight, my mental health…), I now have to be self-conscious of my breathing, because my brother says it’s “painful to listen to.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 109

Brave

By Veronica - 25/01/2025 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I showed my new haircut to my friends. One of them said, "Wow, it’s brave to try something different." I didn’t realize that "brave" was code for "bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 130

Smuckle time

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 10:59

Today, my husband asked me to meet him at 6 for our date night, but I ended up being 45 minutes late. Turns out he predicted my lateness and had booked the restaurant for 7, not 6. He knows me so well, but sometimes I hate the smug smarmy bellend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 3 914

This sparks no joy

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 15:00

Today, I took a good look, and I mean a really good look around the house and I realized that if I simply threw away all my wife’s useless crap she bought and hasn’t used in years, or even unwrapped from the plastic, we could probably move into a smaller, cheaper house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 98

Cats with jobs

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 15:00

Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 979

Scarfing it down

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 434

Realistic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my daughter that it’s important to marry for love. She asked if I married her dad for love, which I did. She thought about it for a second, then said, "Fuck that, I’m marrying me a rich guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 127

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 15:00

Today, someone said not to speak to them like I'm "better than them." I asked how they would like me to speak; I couldn't figure out the problem. The response I got was, "Speak to me like you speak to your lord." Am I the idiot? I wasn't even the one who initiated the conversation to begin with, nor did I intend for beef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 70

Not the brightest moggy

By Ouch - 09/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 123

Charming

By Bros before hos, every time - 19/03/2026 09:00

Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 78

You do you

By JesstheMess - 22/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Albertville

Today, dieting is making me depressed and I'm so hungry. I don't even care about losing weight, but my boyfriend is and he's doing a low fat diet with me for my health, so I'm going to do the low calorie thing with him. I also feel like I'm not doing well enough in the gym and it's hurting so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 210

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 03:00

Today, as always, I had a desk nap on my lunch break with an alarm set to ensure I woke up. Some jackass disabled my alarm so I only woke up when my boss bull-roared directly in my ear about ignoring time sensitive emails and missing an entire Teams meeting. I’d been asleep for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 258

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The Top

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 345

You deserved it 5 082

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 356

You deserved it 4 385

Today, I realized what I thought was bad lighting and poor TV brightness was actually night blindness. I found out while driving to work at my new night shift job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 250

Today, my coworker, who I thought was my “friend,” threw me under the bus and showed my boss all the texts I'd sent talking shit about her. I was sacked. I confronted him and told him I thought we were friends. He replied, “The mouse is friend of the cheese, it doesn’t mean he’s not gonna eat it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 1 013

Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 117

Today, the eczema on my hands is so bad that my phone's touch screen didn't want acknowledge my fingers as human skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 88