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The all-time greatest FMLs

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 22:00

Today, my parents, who always bitch that they don't see me enough since we live in different states, completely ignored me during their early Thanksgiving visit and used me as a free hotel for my younger siblings. I maybe spent four hours with them during their three day stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 83

Feral baby

By sad cat owner - 26/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I had to make the difficult decision to get rid of my cat. He's terrible around unfamiliar people and always attacks them on sight, completely unprovoked. He even does this to my niece, who isn't even a year old. Still, he's such a sweetie despite his lack of people skills, so I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 274

Nobody likes a shitter quitter

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 09:00 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I got a stomach bug. Then my three kids joined in like it was a team sport. My husband decided his actual soccer game was more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 95

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 05/11/2025 00:00

Today, I did a massive sneeze, felt something pop, and blew out a hernia the size of a football. I was childminding three young kids at the time and I think they’re traumatised because the parents withdrew two of them the same day it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 68

Some people just want to watch the world burn

By WANTED: livable planet - 12/01/2023 12:00

Today, I mentioned to my parents that, considering the state of the world, the government needs to get its act together and ban guns, gas cars, meat, animal products, and plastic, among other things. They threatened to kick me out, saying I should "go live with the other dumbass hippies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 2 135

Pissed

By CatDad - 18/12/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 866

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 06/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I spent 3 days preparing for a presentation and practiced it at home. It was my turn in class, but my laptop wouldn’t connect to the projector. The teacher said, “Just explain without slides,” which erased my entire brain. I stared at my classmates in silence before blurting out, “The slides explain it better than I can.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 100

Cruise away

By Anonymous - 03/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom booked my family a $250 spot for a dinner cruise. I'm a type 1 diabetic in diabetic ketoacidosis. I told her that I needed to go to the hospital as this could kill me. Her response? "WHAT ABOUT THE $250 I PAID FOR THE CRUISE?!" I guess she cares more about the money than the fact I might die. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 82

Touchy

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 05:59

Today, in a particularly crowded section of the mall, I felt someone touch my back, several times. My self-defense kicked in, I screamed to attract attention, whipped around and threw a punch. No one was there; It was my ponytail touching my back. People were staring me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 1 424

Puberty sucks

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, and for the past week, I practiced my speech for the school debate team. Right as I started, my 14 year-old voice cracked so hard that the first sentence came out sounding like a startled goat. The judge tried not to laugh, but I spent the rest of the round fighting octave changes in my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 53

Moo

By Moo - 27/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had to sleep in a room with my son, since we are visiting relatives at a farm. Every time a cow moos, he says "Cow". I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 99

Great first impression

By Gillian from PA - 20/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new shirt to a job interview, feeling confident. Halfway through, I realized that my shirt had a huge ketchup stain on the shoulder from lunch. The hiring manager noticed and asked me, “What happened there?” I froze and muttered, "I’m just… really passionate about burgers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 215

I'm real!

By DianaSeventeen - 07/09/2025 03:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents and siblings for the first time. Their first reaction was, "Oh? You're her? All this time we thought you're some cartoon character from yet another lousy anime he keeps babbling about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 58

Scap

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mum got annoyed and screamed that I should appreciate her more, all because I had to get my car scrapped and wouldn't let her friend who'd offered me 100 pounds less than another scrapper. I'm broke and we're in a cost of living crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 64

What was in the box?

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 163

The growth

By Deenadd - 19/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I discovered an open wound right above my penis. I can’t put a Bandaid on it because the hair down there repels it. There’s something repulsive about seeing something like that on your own body, especially when you just want to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 331

Relax

By Alice - 09/03/2026 22:00

Today, I felt so awful in my belly, I went to a massage therapist for help. She, like me, thought it was the stress of some recent family issues. It was more than that. Her kneading of my gut indeed relieved me by helping me have a HUGE go. One scream and a four foot turd later, I realized I'd been constipated. No longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 154

Cash out crashout

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I applied for a 0% balance transfer credit card to switch my balance. The application crashed at the last stage and now I've been told I might not get the same limit, plus my credit score is affected if I apply again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 81

Hangry

By Anonymous - 25/03/2025 00:00 - Canada

Today, McDonald's screwed up my order 3 whole times. GIVE ME MY NUGGETS PLEASE. HOW CAN SOMEONE MAGICALLY FORGET 40 NUGGETS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 167

You really shouldn't have!

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, for my birthday this year, my girlfriend gave me Herpes (type 2) and this morning she decided to wake me up to tell me she wants to see other people. But she "still loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 85

Strange domestic arrangement

By Mike - 24/05/2021 13:59

Today, because I wanted to let my cat have his breakfast before I used the bathroom, which is also his dining room, I learned that when your day starts with shitting your pants, things can only get better from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 971

Never? Never ever?

By Blue balls forever - 08/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to talk to my wife about our lack of sex lately. Apparently, her therapist told her that her high libido and eagerness to experiment came from her early childhood issues, so now she's working through her trauma and will never want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 108

How on Earth…?

By Ouch - 14/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I cut my finger trying to open a door. Yes, I am just as confused as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 83

There's definitely a separate WhatsApp group

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 20:00

Today, the friend I was supposed to meet said, "Oh, I forgot to put it in my calendar." She than suggested all our friends drive out to her place in the morning (instead of the agreed afternoon) when I was unable to attend, which she knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 68

Old school internet athiest

By Fuck you bitch - 25/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I yet again had to endure one of my patients talking about how their "faith in God" helped them. No bitch, the MEDICINE helped you, not your fake "God" who hates queer people like me. I wish I could yank your IV and see how much help "God" is to you then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 582

Numerophobia

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 12:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, my coworkers quietly ditched the project I spent months working on, because typing in numbers into a website "is too hard." Our boss is out, so I have no recourse. Why do I bother? These people hate numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 79

Chilling

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 03:00

Today, it was freezing in the office, so I brought in a small space heater and plugged it in under my desk. Moments later, the power went out on the entire floor of the office. I quickly unplugged the heater and stuck it in a drawer. Now I just have to somehow sneak it out of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 169

Humaaaaaaan! Open the doooooor!

By Is he stupid? - 12/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my dumbass cat won't stop screaming and whining at me because I won't let him go outside. It's winter, and this is the Midwest. He did this without my knowledge once before and had almost frozen to death by the time I figured out where he was. Also, he's too loud for earplugs to drown him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 130

To each their own

By engagedtoafreak - 23/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 190

Fitness time

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after finally getting over my ex, it felt like it was time to climb back into the dreaded dating pool. I also recognized that I need to get in shape to maximize my chances, so I went running. Half a mile in, I tripped over my own feet, landed face-first in a bush, and had to walk home covered in leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 127

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The Top

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 789

You deserved it 12 855

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 914

You deserved it 2 300

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 198

You deserved it 4 520

Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 637

You deserved it 8 321

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 819

You deserved it 82 498

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 823