By FML Approved - United States - New York Moving Walkway Fail Follow your dreams, kids! 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trev - United States Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML I agree, your life sucks 38060 You deserved it 28890 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By innocent Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML I agree, your life sucks 5335 You deserved it 316 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oD_Ronan - United States - Olympia Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML I agree, your life sucks 41211 You deserved it 4501 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By daniel55 - United Kingdom - London Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39285 You deserved it 5847 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gonnafail - United States - York Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML I agree, your life sucks 45622 You deserved it 3267 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my child told me when she makes enough money to support herself, she's never going to speak to me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 3762 You deserved it 1103 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kalaina - France Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 37430 You deserved it 2505 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML I agree, your life sucks 7992 You deserved it 82507 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 23:03 - France Shut down Today, I finished an exam in physics class. It counts for 40% of our grade. As I handed my paper in to my teacher, she said to the whole class while talking about me, "You did this wrong; this isn't how you do it." FML I agree, your life sucks 757 You deserved it 92 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heeeeeyitsbrittney Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML I agree, your life sucks 1485 You deserved it 294 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thedoc - United States - Amarillo No kink-shaming on FML Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML I agree, your life sucks 56388 You deserved it 6918 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - Huddinge Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML I agree, your life sucks 27837 You deserved it 3094 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML I agree, your life sucks 1709 You deserved it 8855 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By don't cry over spilled milk - United States - Elmendorf Afb Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML I agree, your life sucks 11129 You deserved it 1407 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML I agree, your life sucks 40705 You deserved it 2722 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Humble Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 26156 You deserved it 11040 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joe - United States Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML I agree, your life sucks 54286 You deserved it 4126 225 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Germany - Nuremberg Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML I agree, your life sucks 11523 You deserved it 38375 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Juanna - United States Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML I agree, your life sucks 33575 You deserved it 4496 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ignored - United Kingdom Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39413 You deserved it 12192 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnicornPancake Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML I agree, your life sucks 3408 You deserved it 379 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MeanMother - United States - Saint Louis Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 7935 You deserved it 90937 311 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By triplenipple - Sweden Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 43738 You deserved it 4536 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SorryUncleTommy - United States - Brooklyn Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 29177 You deserved it 7037 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PsychoBoulevard - United States - Tollhouse Put the eggs in one basket! Today, as well as for the past week, my cat finds immeasurable joy in knocking eggs of the counter and staring at me as I clean the mess. FML I agree, your life sucks 4141 You deserved it 1112 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loser - United States Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 11463 You deserved it 67467 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML I agree, your life sucks 8649 You deserved it 62400 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I told my parents that I am a smoker. My mother started crying, and said she worried I was gay, but this is almost as bad. That leads on to part two of my confessions... FML I agree, your life sucks 3956 You deserved it 667 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML I agree, your life sucks 2575 You deserved it 889 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Not Again! Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 1611 You deserved it 319 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad walked in to talk. He said I'm not the son he'd hoped for, and that he'd been let down as a father. He said I should change the way I am so that he could love me more. It was the longest conversation I've had with my dad in years. FML I agree, your life sucks 1995 You deserved it 132 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Diana Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML I agree, your life sucks 42023 You deserved it 3460 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML I agree, your life sucks 1438 You deserved it 409 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shouldaknown - United States Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML I agree, your life sucks 31076 You deserved it 8366 212 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Embarrassed - United States Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 32352 You deserved it 6046 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rachlette - United States - Seattle Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML I agree, your life sucks 33406 You deserved it 2787 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex - 15/12/2020 13:58 Booty non-call Today, my girl sent me a naked booty pic, telling me not to be late home. When I got home, she was in dirty old sweatpants, too upset for sex because her celebrity crush died. Not in real life, in one of the TV shows she's watching. FML I agree, your life sucks 1129 You deserved it 166 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ImNotFat - New Zealand Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML I agree, your life sucks 31827 You deserved it 3262 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pain - United States - Andover Today, my parents "suggested" I help them move house. I didn't realize that meant I would be carrying every stick of furniture out of their house. The muscles in my arms are so tight now that I can't straighten them. I can't wait to help them unpack tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 13152 You deserved it 1693 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lil_bit - France Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML I agree, your life sucks 7711 You deserved it 44308 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7553844 - Wednesday 18 October 2017 4:13 I now find myself wanting to lie down on one of those walkways and letting it take me to wherever it goes. Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By Akitakat | 31 #7553980 - Wednesday 18 October 2017 13:39 So close yet so far away. Send a private message 5 2 Reply
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7553844 - Wednesday 18 October 2017 4:13 I now find myself wanting to lie down on one of those walkways and letting it take me to wherever it goes. Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By BeNzYbAbEz3 | 5 #7553950 - Wednesday 18 October 2017 12:03 mmmmmoo999o99>l Send a private message 0 6 Reply
By Akitakat | 31 #7553980 - Wednesday 18 October 2017 13:39 So close yet so far away. Send a private message 5 2 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 622 You deserved it 135 3 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 845 You deserved it 178 8 Comments