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The all-time greatest FMLs

Hustle culture

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, my brother has decided to hustle hate groups. Everyone, including the police, think he's some sort of Robin Hood. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except he's trying to recruit people. Any day now we're going to be attacked by Nazis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 139

Story of my life...

By FML Approved - 30/10/2017 19:30 - United States - New York

Slides are difficult for everyone, right?

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 110

Quacks

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went to see the doctor to find out if the injury to my foot will ever heal right, because it's swollen to the size of a bowling ball, and I was hoping to start a method of treatment to get it back to what it was like before. When I asked, the doctor said, "It might, might not." So much for that hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 89

Consolation Prize

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 75

Nice try

By Alissa - 10/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old son told me that while I was at work, “Daddy was blowing up Aunt Heather’s balloons.” When I talked to my husband about this, he hastily told me it was for her birthday party. Her birthday is in July. Nice save… not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 99

Rise and grind

By Gwen - 28/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm two days deep into a semester at a trade school, pulling doubles. I was supposed to only work 4 days a week, which would've been totally manageable. But, because the weather was total crap the first week, now I'm stuck working 80-hour weeks for the next month including those Fridays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 123

Higher standards of living

By gross? - 15/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 86

Night terror

By Freaked OUT - 06/09/2025 03:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 111

Everyone's an expert

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 03:00

Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 62

Company policy

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I just wanted to let Spectrum Internet know that there's a wire down a block north of me, but all they wanted to do was schedule a fucking appointment for ME! Why are there so many fucking idiots in this goddamn world? FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 106

Yours or theirs? Or both?

By Anonymous - 14/01/2025 22:00 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 144

Yay!

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, I got out of work, and just wanted to relax after a stressful day. Instead, I came home to a surprise birthday party that my boyfriend set up. My birthday isn't even until next week, and I secretly hate two of the people he invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 217

Leave me alone

By Chandler - 15/10/2025 15:00

Today, at my local pub, I discovered that three equally toxic women were having a contest to see who could take me home first. I'm an emotional (and not very attractive) person who spent the year dealing with a tragic breakup and I don't do hookups. These women know this and STILL waste my time trying to gaslight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 101

Tough crowd

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my application for a holiday role at a department store was declined because I was "not as qualified as some other candidates." I worked this exact same job at this exact same store last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 94

The truth

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was asked to donate blood for our daughter but it turns out I’m Type O while she is AB, so there is no chance she's my daughter, and my wife cheated on me. So I asked for our other two kids' types. My son is AB so he’s not mine. Our other daughter is O, so she might be the only one that's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 45

FOMO

By jon - 03/03/2025 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I woke up feeling unlovable after my ex left me for a wealthy BMW owner last week. I clocked into my job at CVS. I had a teenage surfer guy purchasing magnum condoms, a drunk guy buying liquor with two hot blondes around his shoulders, and my high school crush came in to buy plan B. My youth is passing me by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 139

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 216

Leave me out of this feud

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 16:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, two girls who are in my class tried to talk to me about each other, not knowing the other had already spoken to me. They are best friends, but also hate each other, and seem to have taken me as the one to shit talk to about each other constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 90

Please leave

By Yada yada yada - 28/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 171

Bad dad

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 22:00

Today, my daughter got home at midnight, two hours past curfew. My husband got all mad and accused her of dressing like a cheap whore. So firstly, he went way too far with the name calling and I’ll yell at him later, but also the dress she was wearing was mine, so I guess I’m a cheap whore too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 181

Time for a concept of a plan

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I talked to the people from the funding program I'm trying to use for college. With the deadlines they have, I'm not going to be able to start until next August. I'm being kicked out of my house in the next three months. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 109

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 637

Chloramine time

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 00:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 102

A bit much

By Jfc son - 09/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son was getting ready for a first date. I asked him what he was doing, and he revealed he'd saved his money and bought her a GOLD NECKLACE to show his love. I facepalmed so hard I nearly gave myself a concussion, then told him to put that away until their first anniversary or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 113

Tax evasion

By Single4Life - 23/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 151

Late fee

By Anonymous - 22/11/2023 18:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 133

Belly bounce!

By Karen - 24/05/2024 00:00 - United States - Solon

Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 192

Hang in there, man

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 216

No filter

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 04:00

Today, I washed my backpack. Unfortunately, I forgot to empty that ONE little pocket inside, so I also washed 5 bucks, a mirror, some tissues and a notepad. Now my backpack is full of mirror shards and thousands of tiny pieces of paper-fuzz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 768

Say nothing

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 07:58 - United States - Edmond

Today, right now, my husband is on the phone with his friend. Last night I had a dream I was cheating on him with this friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 858

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The Top

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 442

You deserved it 7 818

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 672

You deserved it 45 689

Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 591

You deserved it 3 859

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 201

You deserved it 53 487

Today, the guy I really like told me that I look exactly like Kathy Bates. I'm only 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 217

Today, my dad undermined my life's work. I finally opened my own bakery, but my dad told me it's a "sissies job" since it doesn't involve manual labour like he did for 50 years and I'll probably go out of business, because no one will want cakes from a 6 foot 8 man with tattoos, piercings and a shaved head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 130