Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with...

By shandrith - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

82291

You deserved it

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Miscellaneous

Coherence dude, do you have it?

And probably giggling

Always ask for documentation

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14658

You deserved it

36683

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By RYZILLAHitZ - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38913

You deserved it

5721

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By fmlcops - United States

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67141

You deserved it

5433

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By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 17:02

Wise kid

Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks

764

You deserved it

201

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By birthday girl - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41786

You deserved it

4155

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By Malcolm654 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years in front of the sell-out crowd at the baseball game, but at the security checkpoint, the security guard made me take the ring out and open it after I walked through the metal detector. No need to say it, worst proposal ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14848

You deserved it

1838

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By larsn - United States - San Antonio

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5857

You deserved it

20018

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By Jess - United States

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

65721

You deserved it

3506

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By HURP - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25998

You deserved it

13068

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By impickingyourhomegran - United Kingdom - London

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29518

You deserved it

1892

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By Anonymous - United States - New York

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55896

You deserved it

9320

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By makeyourselfathome - Australia - Richmond

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44406

You deserved it

3007

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By ihatewalmart - United States

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27837

You deserved it

3168

Favorite

By spaghett - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14069

You deserved it

1780

Favorite

By Username - Canada

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38310

You deserved it

3009

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By the_music_major - United States

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33348

You deserved it

4067

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By future teacher - Paraguay - Fernando De La Mora

Today, I was observing a children's class as a part of a training program. The teacher asked me to take one kid to the nurse's office because she wasn't feeling well. As soon as we step outside, I slip and fall down, taking the little girl with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26153

You deserved it

2932

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By xxxzzzooo - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25366

You deserved it

3759

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By Anonymous

Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1911

You deserved it

309

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32260

You deserved it

3943

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By feelinnauseous - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52892

You deserved it

15675

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By booo - United States - Minden

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25106

You deserved it

3261

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47198

You deserved it

4386

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By the other woman

Oops...

Today, I found out that the guy I lost my virginity to a few months ago was in a relationship the whole time. How did I find out? His now ex-girlfriend called to yell at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3966

You deserved it

483

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By toelie

Oh the times, they are a-changin'

Today, as two of my students walked into my classroom, I said, "Hi, ladies". One of them screamed at me: "Did you just assume my gender?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

4965

You deserved it

569

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By Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36758

You deserved it

5500

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By oncehipjr - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48238

You deserved it

4507

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By Anonymous - Australia - Redland Bay

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25463

You deserved it

4990

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By Jason - United States

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9702

You deserved it

44224

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By Anonymous - 22/1/2020 01:00

Don't worry!

Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1794

You deserved it

500

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By Catie - United States

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31799

You deserved it

4478

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By darn it. - United States

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51921

You deserved it

4133

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By kiwi - United Kingdom

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47198

You deserved it

5550

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48413

You deserved it

2575

Favorite

By agstadra - Canada

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33873

You deserved it

3183

Favorite

By Aprilfools - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

137771

You deserved it

7904

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By Anonymous - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37507

You deserved it

22263

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31167

You deserved it

3283

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37380

You deserved it

6483

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By ishouldntdrink - United States

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7882

You deserved it

39092

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Top comments

By Abdullah Zamir | 10

#7459100 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 13:09

just have a 3some

By fantastamazing | 10

#7460331 - Thursday 25 May 2017 23:08

Your life does not suck. This is the recipe for a really kinky night lol

COMMENTS

By thatsthewayitis2 | 6

#7423947 - Sunday 12 March 2017 17:44

Ydi for cheating in the first place u pile of shit

By Abdullah Zamir | 10

#7459100 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 13:09

just have a 3some

By fantastamazing | 10

#7460331 - Thursday 25 May 2017 23:08

Your life does not suck. This is the recipe for a really kinky night lol

By bsshooter | 14

#7465873 - Monday 5 June 2017 23:44

this would make a great m.knight shamaylan film

By Caleb John | 5

#7474184 - Wednesday 21 June 2017 8:41

Silver lining: Threesome opportunity

By lucasj23 | 11

#7609860 - Sunday 11 March 2018 5:27

You can't really expect anyone to feel sorry for you. you're a cheater

By DraftHail614 | 17

#7655515 - Sunday 1 July 2018 3:15

You're a piece of shit. No sympathy.

By Linda Mau | 10

#7683853 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 1:12

just bang them both