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Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

#17617354
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (2206)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by TheJazzKid - United States (California)

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

#19678592
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (5586)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (19269)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22516) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (4300)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22516) - you deserved it (10758)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

#13789947
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22515) - you deserved it (13797)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

#19243809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22513) - you deserved it (2613)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:48am - work - by Katie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

#5772637
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (3623)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22509) - you deserved it (1852)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (6532)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

#20156480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (1956)

On 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm - kids - by jan420 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22505) - you deserved it (82910)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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