Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (59898)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (3485)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (37440)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

#11698
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (2729)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Lizz (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

#6460097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20718) - you deserved it (1924)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by whattheshit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

#7923030
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20718) - you deserved it (10244)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:12am - love - by snowman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (5942)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (6069)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

#20033299
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (2110)

On 08/21/2012 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

#18077732
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (4685)

On 10/26/2011 at 12:31am - work - by rowanjusmc - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

#18037423
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (11736)

On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

#16734083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (27387)

On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: