Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

#13539413
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9984) - you deserved it (34777)

On 10/21/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9979) - you deserved it (25327)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

#12836221
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9977) - you deserved it (45466)

On 08/31/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by weezel (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

#5738232
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9976) - you deserved it (35888)

On 10/09/2009 at 11:05am - love - by TasedAndDazed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

#14220139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9975) - you deserved it (29480)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:51am - love - by LD619 - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

#12818832
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9970) - you deserved it (19884)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Palf - Germany (Brandenburg)

Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML

#14115164
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9970) - you deserved it (19849)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:47am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML

#17329385
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9969) - you deserved it (32231)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by americanbln - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9963) - you deserved it (34442)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

#19826563
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9962) - you deserved it (20284)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9961) - you deserved it (18002)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

#1630786
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (54550)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9956) - you deserved it (48965)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: