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Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (58261)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

#18954545
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2071)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2774)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (2281)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (5902)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

#21445864
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (2496)

On 07/23/2015 at 5:44am - animals - by Skoff (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

#12833502
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23303) - you deserved it (8769)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by grossfoot (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (3176)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (2972)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

#6900019
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (8098)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (1821)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (2058)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (5589)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)



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