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Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

#21451692
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2766)

On 08/04/2015 at 7:59am - misc - by elizio (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

#21445231
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (1652)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:02pm - work - by geek (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (3042)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

#7531653
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (9433)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (2432)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (3870)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

#21300014
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (4094)

On 11/16/2014 at 3:35am - health - by FlyLikeABird - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying: "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

#21454260
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (2078)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:35am - love - by butchapparently (woman) -

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (1621)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (2254)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the 20% pay cut that the "management team" took at my job really only applied to... me. I also found out that my closest friend at work has been lying to me about it, and telling my boss everything I say. His pay was never cut. I guess it pays to be the boss's snitch. FML

#8458857
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (2346)

On 02/19/2010 at 10:13pm - work - by monochromatic - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (4365)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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