By FML Approved Conflict Resolution This is basically me during every conflict I've ever witnessed. 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML I agree, your life sucks 9035 You deserved it 36428 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mr.no contacts - New Zealand - Auckland Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 45478 You deserved it 5715 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theRoomie - United States Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML I agree, your life sucks 34696 You deserved it 2816 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fashionista1787 - United States Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML I agree, your life sucks 41802 You deserved it 2485 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML I agree, your life sucks 11274 You deserved it 40399 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Farva - United States Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML I agree, your life sucks 6109 You deserved it 42447 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lct722 - Canada Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 10758 You deserved it 23149 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By queenofdeath - Israel Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML I agree, your life sucks 26854 You deserved it 12299 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By types - United States Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 25997 You deserved it 3609 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Too much skin? Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML I agree, your life sucks 5507 You deserved it 362 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML I agree, your life sucks 37659 You deserved it 3254 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By period_probs - United States - King George Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 34423 You deserved it 3015 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VoodooPriestess - 3/6/2020 23:00 Just a prank, bruh! Today, while looking at engagement rings online, I started crying. Not because I'm getting married, but because the only proposal scenario my mind could concoct always ended with my boyfriend saying,"Psych!" FML I agree, your life sucks 1189 You deserved it 337 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By onefishtwofishes - United States - Washington Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 39801 You deserved it 4435 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Hawthorn Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML I agree, your life sucks 41046 You deserved it 10163 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theuglyone - United Kingdom - London Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML I agree, your life sucks 12040 You deserved it 813 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohray - Turkey - Kibris Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 31397 You deserved it 3099 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Saradee - United States - Inglewood Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 61962 You deserved it 10907 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wow, thanks - United States - Seattle Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML I agree, your life sucks 29824 You deserved it 2346 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML I agree, your life sucks 54525 You deserved it 7686 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DEDMan Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML I agree, your life sucks 3841 You deserved it 203 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML I agree, your life sucks 27624 You deserved it 3307 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Missing the point 101 Today, I told my mom I lost 30 pounds because of an eating disorder. She told me to keep up the good work. FML I agree, your life sucks 1719 You deserved it 176 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML I agree, your life sucks 7915 You deserved it 103524 258 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Whatswrongwithme? - United Kingdom Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML I agree, your life sucks 55658 You deserved it 5707 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - Sweden - Uppsala Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML I agree, your life sucks 61270 You deserved it 6595 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yupppp - United States Today, I was talking with my mom about getting my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML I agree, your life sucks 34073 You deserved it 3915 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By baddormgirl - United States Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML I agree, your life sucks 14300 You deserved it 47611 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By metalmusic - United States Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML I agree, your life sucks 39815 You deserved it 4389 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brileyyyy - United States Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML I agree, your life sucks 33648 You deserved it 4242 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rainedaddy - United States Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML I agree, your life sucks 73725 You deserved it 3165 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 12022 You deserved it 34133 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By diddlysquat - United Kingdom Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML I agree, your life sucks 12982 You deserved it 53514 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ew - United States - Washington Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML I agree, your life sucks 8423 You deserved it 11993 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Head, meet wall Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML I agree, your life sucks 1190 You deserved it 303 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RyanSmithN - United States Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML I agree, your life sucks 26161 You deserved it 9181 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kagan Today, the only food in the house is canned beans and vegetables that I can’t stand. My dad refuses to go to the store because, "we can't afford it." Meanwhile, my stepmom just came home with a brand new Gucci purse. FML I agree, your life sucks 1951 You deserved it 141 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scaryman - United States Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML I agree, your life sucks 35186 You deserved it 4147 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 10994 You deserved it 41892 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Godi - United States Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML I agree, your life sucks 33645 You deserved it 2947 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stiggy626 | 25 #7549366 - Friday 6 October 2017 11:23 dude knows what's up haha Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By Stiggy626 | 25 #7549366 - Friday 6 October 2017 11:23 dude knows what's up haha Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking... I agree, your life sucks 20 You deserved it 159 4 Comments
Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until... I agree, your life sucks 70 You deserved it 355 6 Comments