Today, I got my boyfriend shirtless for the first time and I noticed that he had unusual flat nipples. I asked about it and he said that since men don’t need them and he didn’t like them making small pokies under his T-shirt, he cut them off with a razor when he was 19. Um, WHAT? FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML
Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, my boyfriend picked a scab off of my back and ate it without a moment of hesitation. When I questioned him on it, he nonchalantly replied that he’s been doing it his whole life. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Today, I found out I had three strands of pubic hair beside my nipple, so I decided to cut it off with a scissor since I'm going swimming tomorrow. In an attempt to cut off my third strand, I instead excised the cap of my left nipple. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Wonder what he’d do if he didn’t like something about his kids…
UsernameNotFound404 21
That must be painful as ****
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Comments (3)
UsernameNotFound404 21
That must be painful as ****
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Wonder what he’d do if he didn’t like something about his kids…
BurnInDemonFire 39
******* psychopath. Keep him away from any pets.