Subway Surfer on a Mission By FML Approved - 26/09/2017 03:00 You know he's got something important going on... I agree, your life sucks 456 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 988 You deserved it 88 435
Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 549 You deserved it 31 505
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 236 You deserved it 4 947
Today, I walked in on my live-in sister masturbating my husband. He currently has injuries on both arms and they’re both in a cast. She told me he was “horny” and needed to “take some pressure off” so she wanted to “help” because she "was home at the time.” They both seriously see nothing wrong with this. FML I agree, your life sucks 761 You deserved it 120
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML I agree, your life sucks 912 You deserved it 300
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 975 You deserved it 191
Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML I agree, your life sucks 922 You deserved it 83
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 070 You deserved it 4 351