The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

So far…

By sutz22 - 22/08/2023 00:02 - Italy

Today, marks the day I break up with my boyfriend after being cheated on for years, and getting a few STIs from him. It's also the year my mum died, and so did my dog, just 20 days apart. 2023 has not been my year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 145

Prosopagnosia

By jiji - 19/07/2022 06:00

Today, I called my coworker by the name of another coworker, and now he won’t speak to me. They’re both bald and roughly the same weight and height, so it’s not like I can easily tell them apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 465

By I love my furry babies - 18/05/2019 16:09

Today, I got a hamster against my wife's will. I can't wait until she wakes up and I have to tell her it's loose in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 2 664

Addiction under any name

By Anonymous - 08/09/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had sex with a guy on our third date. We'd just finished having sex and he was blatantly on Tinder right next to me in bed. I literally hadn’t moved yet and he still had a wet boner, and yet he was on Tinder looking for his next hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 388

Mr Mad

By Sorry Sir - 12/07/2023 03:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband got angry at me, only because I addressed him by his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 183

What died in here?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 98

Classic switcheroo

By Anonymous - 14/01/2024 22:00 - France

Today, I received an email from my boss, with congratulations, announcing my promotion. I worked hard last year, so I was excited to hear this and replied with gratitude. He texted me and apologized for misunderstanding as this email was sent by mistake, and it was my coworker who actually got promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 102

Clever boy

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 154

Easy mistake to make

By Notmyfault - 22/11/2023 02:30

Today, I almost got in trouble at work, all because I inadvertently referred to a 19 year-old patient’s 47 year-old husband as her father. I didn’t know this until she got so upset that she threw a tantrum, filed a complaint against me, and requested another nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 112

The new generation

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 22:00

Today, I got stuck in a bathroom at work with my least favorite coworker. He ranted about Lady Gaga the entire 15 minutes the lock was broken. I’m third generation don’t give a fuck! FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 182

Robby Krieger rubbing salt into the wound again

By No time to wallow in the fire - 08/07/2022 16:00

Today, I had to stay at a friend's house because my dryer caught fire. My friend decided to start cleaning, so he put on his music playlist. By sheer coincidence, the first song that played was "Light My Fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 157

Size zero

By Hannah - 27/03/2021 05:01

Today, I have been trying for 5 days to gain weight. Which for me, requires stuffing myself to the point of exploding. I haven’t slept in days because I'm constantly digesting food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 286

Isn't this, like, a crime?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend blows weed smoke at me while I sleep. I don’t smoke. Then he turns off the Ring camera in the middle of the night and cheats on me with men that he finds on Grindr. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 167

Old school

By Anonymous - 18/05/2023 10:00

Today, our internet is down so I told my daughter to watch a DVD instead. She looked at me dead in the face and asked what a DVD was. To think I even remember VHS tapes. Damn I’m getting old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 156

Moldy excuse

By andrea - 02/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 304

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 22:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after dating someone for a year and a half, upon meeting his mother for the first time he'd told me she has bad anxiety and that he’s going to introduce me as his friend, and the only reason I was meeting her was because she was selling her deceased husband's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 112

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and saw my bed was made different and there was a wet spot on the sheets. It wasn’t until I sniffed it did I realise what it was. I’m now 99% certain my Mum and Dad had sex in my bed, and I'd sniffed their mixed up love juices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 142

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 06:00 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I saw my crush for the first time since she rejected me and said she was a lesbian. The man she was passionately making out with in the dining hall would state quite the opposite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 195

Some people might relate…

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 10:00 - Canada - Langley

Today, I've been stuck in a minimum wage job since I was 15. I'm now 22 and I have no idea where I'm going in life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 276

How very dare you?

By Oh Lawd He Comin - 05/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I got tired of my cat trying to open the bag that contains his food when he literally has food in his bowl, so I put the bag on a high shelf he can't reach. Since then, he's been giving me all sorts of dirty looks whenever we're in the same room, to try and make me feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 298

By Frouse - 04/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 2 705

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 134

Close but no cigar

By Degenerate - 22/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I learned that in spite of walking during the ceremony, my graduation was denied. That was nearly 4 years ago, and I never knew this was a possibility. I'd been a drop-out all this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 182

Worthless

By SrslyD00d - 11/07/2023 10:00

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of three and a half years told me he was leaving me for a girl he met at his Uni, because, “I’m tired of jerking off all the time and I need intimacy.” He’s only known her for two months. So the three and a half years together meant nothing to him then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 518

Creepypasta time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2023 20:00

Today some young teenager nervously approached me, saying he’d done a drawing of me, and that I could have it if I wanted, then he ran off blushing. I thought it was cute until I saw the picture. It was me and him in extraordinary detail, having anal sex, with a dildo up my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 172

The miracle of childbirth

By Val - 09/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized my marriage is over. I was in labor with our first child and my husband acted like being there with me in the hospital was a chore. However, he saw a young nurse and his mood did a 180. He left soon before I gave birth because he “got hungry.” All of this and he STILL has no clue why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 181

Tree trunks

By AloneAtPerkins - 18/11/2020 20:02 - United States - West Bend

Today, I shaved my legs. It's been so long since I've shaved that my razor broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 366

Check your head

By Anonymous - 21/03/2020 21:00

Today, while watching a movie on my iPad, a really cute girl sat next to me. Suddenly, everyone on the bus started clapping. I started to clap very loudly as well, asking the girl why we were clapping. She gave me a strange look. I then realized the applause was coming from my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 2 297

Escapism

By ChemoInReno - 25/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Point Piper

Today, I am still recovering after my second round of chemotherapy. You’d think I’d be able to rest instead of making lunch and dinner for our kids, and cleaning the house. But no, my wife says that would mess up her day. Which is centred around an 8-hour M*A*S*H marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 111

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 1 281

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The Top

Today, I almost missed the bus. I grabbed my backpack and ran out the door. It wasn't until after we got to school that I realized I was still in my slippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 473

You deserved it 9 323

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 66

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over two years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 425

You deserved it 4 660

Today, one of my junior marines called to tell me they were in an accident that totaled both cars. The car he hit was parked in a nearby parking garage. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 446

You deserved it 483

Today, I was expecting a package from Amazon, so when the doorbell rang I rushed out in my pajamas. It wasn't the delivery guy. It was my ex and her new boyfriend, here to drop off some of my old stuff. I'd answered the door wearing an anime onesie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 551

Today, I was exhausted after three solid weeks of having my kids. After I got home, my dog decided to get intimate with his stuffed animal toy. I now know what my dog’s dong looks like, and that he’s gotten more action in the last two months than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 230