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The all-time greatest FMLs

And probably giggling

By Anonymous - 10/08/2020 05:02

Today, I realized our cat has a sixth sense for when he wants to be seen. When we don't care where the cat is, he's within plain sight. When we lose track of him and are in a panic worrying if he got out, he's hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 354

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 10:59

Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 218

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 02:00

Today, my husband walked in on our daughter naked in the bathroom, which was awkward enough for both of them, but it also meant he discovered her nipple piercings and thigh tattoo. She’s only 15 years-old. The shouting hasn’t started yet, but it's coming soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 540

Reputable

By Heartbroken Dad - 30/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out why this reputable personal trainer resigned from our local gym. My wife started an affair with him and he thought it was better to quit so their relationship could be ethical. The worst part of all of this? Our 1.5 year old son is actually his and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 146

Armchair psychiatrist

By jessie - 17/12/2020 04:58 - United States - Denver

Today, I was informed that I am, in fact, faking my depression. Why? Because I shower daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 90

Breaking!

By ThatLove - 12/06/2023 22:00 - Switzerland - Worb

Today, my boyfriend wanted my emotional support after his other girlfriend hit him with a phone charger when she found out he had two girlfriends. Yes folks, the open relationship thing was news for me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 133

Dad, stop driving my car

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 05:01 - Puerto Rico - Aguas Buenas

Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 90

Swindling

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 08:00

Today, I got dumped, but not before he swindled me out of my savings. This done by my sweetheart from 16 years ago, whom I reunited with when he called me 7 months ago. I had no reason not to trust him, his brother has been one of my BFFs for 20 years. Now I'm not only broke, but heartbroken, and have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 230

That's a lot

By Anonymous - 23/04/2023 22:00

Today, i purchased myself 150$ Egyptian cotton 800-thread count sheets for my birthday, which came with matching pillow cases and everything. My girlfriend decided to wear a bleach face cream and ruined the entire set, and then followed it up with using part of my savings to buy herself a cabin vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 265

Cryptic reaction

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 03:01

Today, I found out I’m pregnant with the man I’ve been in love with for almost a year. When I told him, he got down on one knee, cuddled my abdomen and said, "Get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 205

Good boy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 20:00

Today, it's my birthday, and the only male attention I've had in months is when the dog greeted me with his red rocket out and his tail wagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 220

Trad wife double standard goals

By Double standards - 03/08/2022 16:00

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 118

Mummy's little boy

By HadEnough - 24/03/2022 02:00

Today, I hate my toxic, bossy, narcissistic mother-in-law - who is currently visiting us. My husband spilt a little tea and almost had a panic attack over what to do if his mother found out. How did he turn out so normal despite having such a mum? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 103

Not today, Satan

By Anonymous - 14/03/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I briefly considered coming out to my parents when the topic of LGBTQ+ people came up in conversation, until my dad called them “socially deranged.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 291

RIP in peace

By Connie - 01/04/2022 10:00

Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 318

USA! **** YEAH!

By dinkley7 - 20/03/2021 21:30

Today, at work, I had to tell someone to put out a cigarette. He yelled at me saying it’s a free country. I work at a gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 75

Smooth shower moves

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 12:00

Today, my wife tried to join me in the shower to be sexy, only I was shampooing so when I turned round and felt someone in the shower with me, I panicked and we both fell and got stuck in the bottom of the bath. Our kids had to come and help, because my wife had a broken arm and we couldn’t move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 204

Tater tots everywhere

By Anonymous - 05/01/2023 09:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend watching Andrew Tate videos and agreeing with everything he was saying. I shared my opinion that Tate is a disgusting human, and my boyfriend said that of course I’d try to suppress the truth like a typical woman. Ladies, I think my boyfriend is broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 719

Countdown

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 02:00

Today, I finally got all of my finances to move out of my house. My mother, instead of being happy for me for moving out of her house, blames me because she needs my rent money, states I will not be happy out in the world and disowned me because I didn't move out when she wanted me to. She wanted me to stay until she was 55. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 96

Outcast

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while looking through the newspaper, I saw that my sister got married a couple weeks ago. Not only did she not invite me, she "forgot" to mention it yesterday while we were having lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 110

Family is everything

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 00:01 - United States - Stoughton

Today, I thought I would take my family to the beach for the day. My wife is sitting on the front porch, not talking to me, because after working a 60-hour week, I would rather enjoy my family and the fruits of my labor, rather than help her clean the house that she has spent all week at, doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 227

Sounds lovely

By akvan - 30/10/2020 11:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my coworker, who keeps calling me Mexican even though she knows I'm not, is telling everyone that I act like a bitch to our boss, even though she's the one who is always contradicting and fighting with her, and I always try to keep everything professional. No other jobs are calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 78

Scene from a movie

By Mel - 06/03/2022 00:01

Today, I'm crying in an Uber because my significant other just broke up with me. I'm crying quietly but there's no way the driver hasn't noticed at this point. I'm OK with him not saying anything, but he also hasn't changed the music. All that's playing is Pink, and not the loud, girl-power songs, but the sad, slow ones about love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 228

It's all too much

By dreams2383 - 11/11/2022 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 107

Weird family

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 17:01 - United States - Bettendorf

Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 129

Unloveable

By sal - 27/09/2020 05:02 - Canada

Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 306

What a waste

By never be the same - 22/07/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I realized just how much of my life I’ve wasted. I was always raised with the “What will people think?” ideology by religious zealots. The anxiety it gave me influenced everything from what I wore, to where I went, even what I studied in school. I wish I’d been strong enough to be myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 222

By lord24 - 21/11/2015 00:16 - Russian Federation

Today, I'm celebrating my birthday in Russia. While we were enjoying a sauna, one of the guests decided to add water in order to make steam. It wasn’t water, it was vodka. You can imagine the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 173

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 241

By razordot - 28/02/2019 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 2 104

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The Top

Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 497

You deserved it 2 129

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 713

You deserved it 3 174

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 6 425

Today, I thought our CEO had clearly stated that I will only be focusing on my job, and all other stuff will not be my problem. Apparently, I was wrong, because I still get blamed for all the other departments' mistakes, even though I don't manage them. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 143

Today, my maid of honor and best friend of 10 years won't answer my texts and blocked me on social media. This is because last night she and my fiancé got into a huge drunken fight about who loved me more and she stormed off. I get married in 5 hours and I have no idea where she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 394

You deserved it 365

Today, my country announced that there will be 10 hours of power cuts starting from tomorrow. This basically means that if I want to begin my day at 8:00 am, it will only really get started at 6:00 pm, once the sun is down and the birds are done chirping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 102