Health, Mental health, Weird, Religion and Nightmare: Cocobananas - FML

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 14:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while celebrating my 10 years home from Iraq, my brother told us about his new affiliation with Scientology. Apparently, all those roadside bombs I keep dreaming about are just alien ghosts that need to be purged. What's worse is how well it fuses with his new brand of politics: YouTube QAnon channels! FML

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You deserved it 141

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Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Get better friends

By Q strikes again - 03/07/2022 00:00

Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 941

Whining at life

By 847 - 05/10/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, to get my wife off my back, I introduced our two single friends who are both into QAnon. Not only did they not click, but now they both call us regularly to embellish the insane difference between their beliefs and "what that moron believes." Same words from both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 575

By Anonymous - 15/10/2012 07:54 - South Africa

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 129

You deserved it 2 559

By NoToBombs - 07/11/2014 15:51 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 361

You deserved it 2 751

By he is going to hell - 18/09/2012 21:46 - Australia - Forestville

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 432

You deserved it 2 157

Supportive siblings are the best

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 22:00

Today, my brother celebrated 10 years of denying I exist with a Facebook post celebrating “My departed brother.” I’ve been self-secluded for 10 years with schizophrenia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 158

Scientists in disguise

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 14:00

Today, I lost a second friend to QAnon conspiracy theories. Worst yet, he started messaging everyone I know on Facebook, telling them I'm a hypocrite who doesn’t “do his research.” Those who don’t now think he was my gay lover believe we were lab partners. What do I do with that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 213

By sonofanut - 22/02/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 183

You deserved it 2 412

Hustle culture

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 05:00 - Canada

Today, my brother has decided to hustle hate groups. Everyone, including the police, think he's some sort of Robin Hood. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except he's trying to recruit people. Any day now we're going to be attacked by Nazis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 137

Spiritual leader

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 106

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 December 2022 0:51

Cut him off. If he never comes out of the rabbit hole, you don't want to deal with him.

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 20 December 2022 23:57

I guess someone attracted to one cult is likely to also be attracted to another… Hopefully you don’t have to deal with cult brother very often.

Comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 20 December 2022 23:57

I guess someone attracted to one cult is likely to also be attracted to another… Hopefully you don’t have to deal with cult brother very often.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 December 2022 0:51

Cut him off. If he never comes out of the rabbit hole, you don't want to deal with him.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 21 December 2022 23:43

Take him to Iraq. He'll soon change his tune.

tiptoppc 19

Saturday 24 December 2022 18:32

That’s because after he encounters the ghost, He’ll b flat-line

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 2 563

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time, and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 296

You deserved it 2 540

Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 013

You deserved it 6 062

Today, I learned that the waffle machine at my local hotel has sugar-free bottles of syrup… and that the machine that conveniently dispenses syrup for you which is NOT sugar-free. This is exactly why Americans are stereotyped as being so unhealthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 705

Today, I've been talking to a chick since early this year and she seems to like me a lot. We were both drinking heavily and were talking on the phone, having a really good time. Suddenly it hangs up. I get her back on the phone just a few minutes later only to hear her getting the bottom knocked out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 274

Today, since moving to a state with relatively milder winters last year, my heating bill has more than doubled. I am now paying more to keep my new apartment at 62 when it is 20 outside, than what I was paying to keep my ancient apartment at 70 when it was minus 14 outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 946

You deserved it 477