Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
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By
CrassKal
| 27
You should just call them on that shit.
By
DontModMeDammit
| 10
That's when you leave the room.
COMMENTS
By
CrassKal
| 27
You should just call them on that shit.
Reply
StormfrontX33_fml
| 24
If you don't call him out on it, then he won't stop. Try "cough cough, you know it's loud." guarantee you that it won't happen again,
Reply
Dilwann
| 27
Yep, should obviously tell him. Make it as awkward for him as it is for you. He probably thinks you're oblivious to it every time now.
Reply
dude1122332
| 9
I wasn't maturating! I always touch myself.. While talking to family members.
Reply
thawny_fml
| 21
Next time you catch him just say "Need a hand?" and when his face lights up call him a freak and laugh. Humiliation is punishment.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
This FML would be a lot more interesting if we didn't have to guess the ages and genders of the characters...
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blaackandprouud
| 20
Words cannot describe how messed that is.
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gman123999
| 14
Why do you all just assume that OPs cousin is a guy?
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downtime
| 12
45, I agree, if this is a small child then they probably don't know any better, if it's an adult then it becomes a completely different scenario. I imagined it as a small child, which is awkward but they are doing nothing wrong. They just need to be spoken to, and I'd suggest the parent would be the one to do the talking in this situation.
Interesting though that everyone assumes it's a male cousin. I'd have thought it'd be easier for a female to discreetly masturbate than a guy, it's much bulkier and the movement is much greater...
Interesting though that everyone assumes it's a male cousin. I'd have thought it'd be easier for a female to discreetly masturbate than a guy, it's much bulkier and the movement is much greater...
Reply
SW500
| 13
The masturbator question could in fact be female.
Reply
FrenchToast94
| 0
45: I agree I'd I understood the ages it would be a lot easier to judge, I pictured it as like 13-17
And that makes it even more awkward. And like everyone else said call them out on it, make them feel embarrassed, thats always a boner kill!
And that makes it even more awkward. And like everyone else said call them out on it, make them feel embarrassed, thats always a boner kill!
Reply
Peachy2392
| 26
It's also worth taking into consideration that if the cousin in question is an adult, he or she may have special needs and doesn't fully comprehend that what they're doing is inappropriate.
By
DontModMeDammit
| 10
That's when you leave the room.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
And as you walk out "yeah I see you trying to masturbate that little guy".
Reply
MagicGiraffe
| 12
Or you look him dead in the eyes and just start racing him.
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tehcyberman
| 9
No, as you walk out say something like, "what's that smell?"
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Saryrr
| 3
Smell?
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brackaman
| 18
It could've been op's room. Shouldn't leave, just say something like “you know there's vaseline on the dresser there that'd make what you're doing easier.”
Reply
moneyisaprobem
| 1
OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH JESUS
By
music_woman1
| 11
Whenever this happens you have to make some sort of complaint or it won't stop
Reply
True but that's so awkward how do you even start to call him out with other family members around
Reply
MissMae93
| 23
72 - that's the point! Make it ridiculously awkward for them and known to the family, guaranteed they would never do it again. Plus, now everyone knows how sick and twisted the cousin is.
By
thatgirlinoregon
| 21
Yeah, it obviously can't be that hard to bring up. So to speak.
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Dusty_Busters
| 15
Well done
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SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
Op must have a sexy voice.
By
sarahlove281
| 4
I feel for you, OP, especially when you take to heart the fact you're related. Ehhhhhh.
By
mightymart
| 5
It's okay if you live in Texas or Alabama
Reply
TrueTriage
| 16
California is more civilized than Texas and Alabama. They just have the gay capital of the world. To quote tosh, "More butt fucking per square foot than anywhere else in the world. San Francisco"
Reply
Bluefrog9636
| 7
God! I'm seriously getting tired of these stereotypical comments about states.
Reply
bstudds
| 1
Have you ever been to either of these states? The city I'm from in Alabama has more Phd's per capita than any other city in the US! I'm sure you made this comment right after you rolled off your sister and thanked her for such a good time, eh? ;)
Reply
breasticals
| 6
Deal with it every state has a stereo type
Reply
SouthernPride95
| 19
The ones about alabama and texas are wrong california on the other hand you nailed it dead on
Reply
ashra_Raivyn
| 2
I live in Texas and people are shunned for that sort of thing. It's just plain nasty as shit! We don't inbreed in Texas we breed animals like dogs not everyone owns a farm either! I hate stereotypes >.<
Reply
MarisaCB
| 16
86, considering your username is "southernpride" no wonder you're sticking up for Alabama & Texas. But you can't say that one stereotype is so wrong and silly, while another is dead on. That looks ridiculous.
Plus your picture is a confederate flag... ugh.
Plus your picture is a confederate flag... ugh.
Reply
MissMae93
| 23
86 - You're like the epitome of a southern jackass. "Oh well if it's negative to where I live, it's WRONG, anywhere else though it's DEAD ON". Nope, not really.
Reply
Myo_fml
| 20
96 supports incest.
Reply
dude1122332
| 9
*impersonation of 116* 96 SUPPORTS INCEST!
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Why bring the south into this? This could happen anywhere.
By
Dracoboxer357
| 35
Certainly time to put an end to that, Op.
Please call him/her out on this, discreetly if possible, loud and proud if necessary, but this isn't the first time and he/she doesn't seem to care enough not to embarrass you or himself/herself, so nip it in the bud.
Good luck. :P
Please call him/her out on this, discreetly if possible, loud and proud if necessary, but this isn't the first time and he/she doesn't seem to care enough not to embarrass you or himself/herself, so nip it in the bud.
Good luck. :P
Reply
Dracoboxer357
| 35
^ I had a bad thought and wanted to add on:
Op, are you quite young? And is your cousin purposely trying to get you to "accidentally notice him/her and comment on it?"
If so, Tell Someone, as you are being sexually harassed by a family member, and that isn't acceptable no matter what your or your cousin's genders are. There's no shame in talking about it as you haven't done anything wrong and it's not your fault.
I don't know your age or situation and maybe I'm over reacting, but it occurred to me that perhaps you're afraid to talk to someone about it, hence why it's continuing on from more than once before. And if I'm right and you don't make this known, I fear it may escalate to something even less discreet. :(
Hope I've got it all wrong, Op. Best of luck.
Op, are you quite young? And is your cousin purposely trying to get you to "accidentally notice him/her and comment on it?"
If so, Tell Someone, as you are being sexually harassed by a family member, and that isn't acceptable no matter what your or your cousin's genders are. There's no shame in talking about it as you haven't done anything wrong and it's not your fault.
I don't know your age or situation and maybe I'm over reacting, but it occurred to me that perhaps you're afraid to talk to someone about it, hence why it's continuing on from more than once before. And if I'm right and you don't make this known, I fear it may escalate to something even less discreet. :(
Hope I've got it all wrong, Op. Best of luck.
Reply
evig_fml
| 16
Your such a good person D:
By
Braxton_84
| 3
Tell him you will cut it off if he doesn't stop. That ought to do the trick.
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SOD_sonofdixie
| 5
And where did it say that it was a male cousin? Thumbs down for jumping to conclusions.
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Braxton_84
| 3
I guess I just assumed. My bad.
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MagicGiraffe
| 12
As far as I know a female probably wouldn't jab the urges to masturbate so badly that they would need to do it in front of the cousin.
Also, males probably whack it louder.
Also, males probably whack it louder.
Reply
boydeee01
| 7
Hence, "fap fap fap".
By
Leslier_fml
| 4
Your cousin its a perv. Say something or its gonna keep happening.
By
off_constantly
| 8
Next time call your cousin out and embarrass the fuck out of him so he can quit fapping at unnecessary times.
Reply
joss777
| 3
Who said its male cousin?
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downtime
| 12
For a community of people who often poorly reference karma at every available moment it seems odd that there is so much support for behaviour designed to humiliate, hurt or embarrass others who you deem to be doing something inappropriate. These actions should be reserved for a last course of action if nothing else has worked, not as a first step.
FYL OP, but we need more information here.
FYL OP, but we need more information here.
Reply
off_constantly
| 8
I said so. It would be idiotic to assume for it to be a girl given the fact that it's easier for a girl to go unnoticed playing dj hero with her vag compared to a dude rubbing one out.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Embarrass the fap out of him/her