Today, after waking up beside my girlfriend to get ready to go to work, I leaned down to kiss her while she was still asleep, and she said, "Have a good day Jake." My name starts with a J, but it's not Jake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I discovered that my band section had misspelled my name as "Joke" on our section poster. On purpose. It's supposed to be Jake. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
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Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
Jake from State Farm?
Chazzster 32
Seriously, why not ask her when she is awake who Jake is? She’s the one who knows. People are not responsible for their dreams or what they say when half asleep. Don’t let that be an issue for you.
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
After you leave, I think Jake is going to have a very good day!
rotflqtms_ 21
Jake from State Farm?
Chazzster 32
Seriously, why not ask her when she is awake who Jake is? She’s the one who knows. People are not responsible for their dreams or what they say when half asleep. Don’t let that be an issue for you.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
She was half asleep, probably didn't know what she was saying.
ghostinflames 13
She sounds hideous
Warp1978 15
Take a half day and come home unexpectedly. If you think that this name slip is a thing otherwise let it go, with everything going on right now just do you need the extra hassle
Inkoseh 33
You're almost as weird as the girlfriends who break up with their BF's when they have a dream about their partner cheating. People dream and its uncontrollable.
Malachi Malachi 4
i would have woke her ass up. like "bae..... bae....BAE...😊 um gm. one question love ... WHO the F*** ! is jake?🤔🧐?