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The all-time greatest FMLs

Pretty Woman

By Anonymous - 27/10/2021 23:00 - Luxembourg - Luxembourg

Today, I went to a business meeting over lunch. My new employer seemed normal enough while we were eating, but now I have received messages about how he will buy me new clothes, and we can rent a camping car and go to festivals next year. All I wanted was a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 111

The harder they come

By andre - 24/12/2021 20:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, after training for six months in martial arts, I was ready to stand up against my bully. When he approached me. I found out the hard way he’s been doing martial arts since he was six. I didn’t know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 461

Childhood trauma

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 13:00

Today, before watching the new Pinocchio, we decided to watch the cartoon one from the 1940’s. Turns out, when I was a kid, the scene where the evil Coachman’s face turns demonic traumatised me. I’d forgotten until I saw the face again. I’m 56 years-old but I froze up and peed myself in my armchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 298

Free labor

By Stopmakingthishurt - 17/11/2021 01:56

Today, I finally accepted my mom will never be a good person, and I'm looking forward to her dying. Apparently, she'd been telling everyone I was a difficult child. I was cooking dinner for her and her boyfriends way back in elementary school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 116

Deadbeat

By Janessa - 28/11/2021 14:01

Today, a woman reached out to me on Twitter to ask me if my dad was OK, since she talks to him every day and they haven't talked in a few days. She also doesn't know if he's in prison or not. My father left when I was 3, and I haven't talked to him in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 104

No soup for you

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 17:00 - Germany

Today, our canteen served soup. I have Tourette's. It would have been fine, hadn't the only free seat been across from another person with Tourette's. When two people with Tourette's meet, their tics can increase tenfold. It was a splashing match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 129

You've been framed

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 15:00

Today, I was rejected from my dream job because my interviewer googled me and one of the images that comes up is a pic of me sunbathing nude in my own private garden. That pic isn’t one I took, it isn’t on my Facebook or anything, I have no f**king idea where it came from or who photographed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 181

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 255

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 09:30

Today, I was called a paedophile and was physically attacked, because I parked in a spot directly next to a McDonald’s outdoor play area and sat there for a while. I was waiting for my drive-through order, in the spot where the staff told me to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 106

Generational trauma

By Laren - 24/09/2021 23:00

Today, I discovered my 17 year-old daughter has an eating disorder. When I confronted her, she confessed that she’s doing it because she wants to stay thin, so that her boyfriend doesn’t dump her like her father dumped me for not being thin enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 156

The world's greatest dad

By Nat - 06/08/2022 06:00

Today, I'd had enough of my ex-husband ignoring me and our son, so I threatened to take him to court for sole custody. He didn't even hang up the phone to his client, he just told me to go for it because our son isn't really that interesting anyway, not enough to fight to try keep him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 242

I get around

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 22:00 - United States - Boiling Springs

Today, I found out my 11 year-old's best friend, who is two months older than her, is also her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 146

Justice for Doggy Boy the dog!

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 16:01

Today, I hate my wife’s dog. It destroys everything in the house, it destroys my garden, she barks constantly in her bed, and when I walk her she tries to attack every living thing she sees, but the instant I talk to my wife about her behaviour, I get yelled at for being mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 179

Sussy baka

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 20:00

Today, when my boyfriend got home, I told him about how I’d had the worst day with our baby. Without blinking, he told me to say the word and he’d drive to a different city and anonymously surrender our son to a fire station and all our suffering would be over. He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 445

Class act

By Superfly - 19/07/2021 18:01

Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 491

Whistleblower

By WhoopsIDidItAgain - 08/03/2021 02:01 - United States - Fremont

Today, I found out my best friend is having a full-blown affair with her coworker. She's a minor. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 132

Uncanny valley

By Anonn - 22/07/2022 12:00

Today, after yet another first date, I was once again told I'm a nice, sweet guy with a rocking body, interesting hobbies, easy to talk to and so on, but she just can't get over how I look like Shrek after a bad car accident, and won't be going on a second date. This is the fourth woman to compare me to Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 129