Sex, Relatable and Awkward: Chemistry

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 364

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Same thing different taste

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 305

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 886

You deserved it 9 239

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 715

By Anonymous - 13/10/2015 07:35 - United States - Davis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 969

You deserved it 6 174

The prick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to deep throat him and I had to tell him he isn’t long enough to reach my throat. It just about reaches the back of my tongue, but that’s it. He’s now sulking. I can’t change the length of his prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 482

You deserved it 614

Who knows?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2014 18:49 - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 778

You deserved it 11 079

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 11 371

By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 966

You deserved it 7 323

By Anonymous - 30/06/2019 16:06

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 788

Is that it?

By Better not - 24/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Kenai

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 283

You deserved it 2 389

cuz803 44

Saturday 21 January 2023 14:30

How can it be a slap in the face when his penis seems too small to do that to you? Be honest with him and tell him it's best ti break up because he cannot satisfy you 🤷‍♂️

SirEnigM0nk 22

Saturday 21 January 2023 16:16

Maybe work with him to improve his tongue game before dumping him? With practice that can get better.

Comments

cuz803 44

Saturday 21 January 2023 14:30

How can it be a slap in the face when his penis seems too small to do that to you? Be honest with him and tell him it's best ti break up because he cannot satisfy you 🤷‍♂️

The_Real_Cvh 10

Saturday 21 January 2023 14:43

Daaaaamn…. How big is your thumb? Must be freakish walking around with a thumb that’s bigger than a dick.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Saturday 21 January 2023 16:16

Maybe work with him to improve his tongue game before dumping him? With practice that can get better.

Chazzster 28

Saturday 21 January 2023 21:49

Bad as this situation is, imagine if you were married before finding out there is a sexual incompatibility issue… I agree that maybe with practice and patience, OP’s boyfriend could most likely improve his tongue technique. And sometimes that’s enough…

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 21 January 2023 23:25

Guys with little dicks need love, too. Not that I, uh...never mind.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Sunday 22 January 2023 1:59

Too late dude, the cat's out of the bag.

Vesi 29

Sunday 22 January 2023 22:59

Alright.. in this day and age there is SOOO much more than just a dick or a tongue. Fingers, for instance and they won't get as tired as quickly as a tongue, there are a LOT of toys that can be used for interactive play.. the sky is literally the limit! Having a micro-pe nis is not the end of a relationship if you have great chemistry otherwise.

ODBeefalo 10

Tuesday 24 January 2023 11:06

Just wanted to update you, people have started into orbit travel at this time... so space is the new limit. even more reason for OP to give her bf a chance